Rooster's marvellous blog

God is not a Liverpool fan

2010-10-17T21:04:00.003+01:00

Well it's been a long time coming fam, since the day I thought of that cunning plan...anyway, enough of the #1 hits, let's get onto more pressing matters; today's blog is all about the big guy in the sky!

Well hasn't his holiness been in the news a lot this week? He saved not one, not two but thirty three Chilean miners who were trapped underground for 69 days (he was never one to shy away from innuendo was he? ;))

The Chilean president described it as a miracle and everyone's giving God a lot of thanks for keeping these guys alive. I'm sure he's feeling pleased with his efforts, he's kicking back, perusing the world news, pointing out stories to his wife saying "Look wife, I did this"

Sadly for the magic sky man, I'm not being fooled by his dirty tricks. We're all praising him for his mining miracle, but I'm pretty sure he's the one who trapped them in the first place? I won't lie, it looks like God has that psychological disorder 'Hero Syndrome'. Which basically causes people (or in this case higher beings) to cause situations which require a hero....and then do the saving themselves. I.e. setting a house on fire and running into rescue people.

I see this as nothing but a desperate cry of attention from the Father. The last decade there's not been much good news; 9/11, boxing day tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the credit crunch, Gordon Brown becoming prime minister, all terrible things. This leads me to conclude that God hasn't been paying much attention to his little planet, like the goldfish that we all forget to feed, the big man has plain and simply forgot about us.

With the string of bad things occurring, people began losing their faith and after his chosen human minions (the pope and his priest buddies) decided that kids were fair game, his ratings were lower than 'Leon Jackson's tour of Milton Keynes'.

So with the low ratings, he needed to big himself up again and KAZAMMM, he traps 33 miners in a mine. He leaves them on their todd for 17 days before deciding they should be found. Things ebbed and flowed for a bit, he kept them alive bla bla bla and pulled them out. Hooray for God! God's the man! WROOOONNNG. God's an egotistical fella who needed a wee bit of attention; and we're lapping it up. The Earth is very much God's dog, no matter how long you leave it, it'll be happy to see you when you reappear.

Now remember that folks! And finally, God is also a sadistic bastard. Look at him, relentlessly mocking Liverpool, sending them to 2nd in the Premier League before striking them down to the lower echelons of the league. He even made his own mini drama with the takeover, will they, won't they, before finally selling them, giving Liverpool fans hope, before crushing the hope with a humiliating defeat to their local rivals.

The man in the sky has the power to do great good and great evil. He is a sadist, an egotist, God is a kid on an ant hill with a magnifying glass, but if there is one thing he is not; God is not a scouser.

First Impressions

2010-07-21T00:16:00.004+01:00

Well folks, if the selection to be an Army Officer was decided on first impressions, I'd've definitely been chucked in the gutter after my visit to 'see' my ACA yesterday.

Interview for 10am, arrive at 9:40, well on time, smartly dressed, shiny shoes, shiny mind. "Good start" was the thought buzzing through my head; I sat down and waited for the impending interview with the Colonel when the Sgt comes to me and says "Are you Chris Rousell?"
"Yes I am"
"Well Chris, it appears you've turned up for your interview at the wrong careers office..."
"I beg your pardon!"
"I've just got off the phone with the Colonel and your interview is not being held here, but in the barracks about a mile and a half down the road"
"But this is the Army Careers Office? The LCpl on the phone said it was being held here"
"Your letter states otherwise" and he digs out a photcopy of my letter which does indeed indicate my interview was being held elsewhere...

Deep Joy. So off I sprint out of the careers office and gear up (that's right, I rode a motorbike to the interview) and pelt it towards the alternative destination, it's 10:10 now and I am well and truly crapping myself. I follow the directions given to me by the very smug Sgt (who seemed all to happy to point and laugh at the Officer wannabe who couldn't read a map) and abandon my Honda in the car park. With the motorcycle gear hastily fastened to the bike, I grab my documents and proceed to sprint down the road in accordance with the Sgt's directions and wait to see a sign saying X House. A mile and half's worth of running in full suit (which took about 10 minutes) and I'm yet to see a sign indicating the building of my interview....

It's now 10:30 and I'm sweating more than a pregnant nun. I whip out the mobile and went to call the Colonel, in an attempt to explain the situation. Full battery, full signal; my Army dreams could yet be alive. I dial the number....nothing, look at the phone and low and behold it's dead, as alive as a Northumbrian fugitive.
Admitting defeat at 10:40, I trudge back to the bike to find out the car park is infact a pay and display and yes, that means motorbike's too. That's £25 and an hour of my life I'll never get back then.

Luckily, after a profusely apologetic phonecall, the interview has been rescheduelled for a month's time, not the ideal way to start your Army Officer application....

And. after all that effort, I still hadn't spoken this mythical Colonel, is it a man/woman/wildebeest?

I found that out today, I went to visit the Colonel to apologise for yesterday's events, turns out he's a rather nice chap!

World Cup Woes

2010-06-27T18:18:00.003+01:00

It's been 7 months and 2 day since I last posted (hands up who's been counting?) but as pointed out to me by a certain Mitchell Sutton, blogging is good for the soul.

Well folks, where do I start? England....wow

Every 4 years the nation gets into world cup fever; the sense of pride, anticipation and the thought that this WILL be England's year. Cup, after cup, after cup we hear it, "this is our year!!!" I think it's time as England fans to sit back and realise it will never be our year.

There's a reason we haven't won the world cup in 44 years- we're not very good. I agree, we've got some very good players; the likes of Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard are certainly no mugs but, as the 'qualified' match pundits will tell you, they never seem to deliver for England. You may find yourself asking the same question, so reader, I'll tell you.

For Manchester Utd, Rooney plays upfront alone (and has also publically stated he prefers it this way) yet for England he plays with a lacklustre strike partner; Emile Heskey, Jermaine Defoe et al who seem to get more of the ball than Wayne. His mediocre partner receives the ball, loses possession and with it, a chance for Rooney to deliver.

For Liverpool, Gerrard plays just behind the LONE striker, getting many assists and a fair few goals. For England he plays on the left wing, the left sodding wing. Why on earth would you leave one of England's lynchpins to waste away on the left? Gerrard ran the show against the USA from his advanced centre midfield position and since then, has had a reasonably quiet tournament; you do the math folks, you do the math.

As for Lampard, being partnered with Barry severely restricts his attacking roles. If Barry goes forwards, Lampard MUST stay back. If Lampard attacks and Barry joins in, we're left with a gaping hole down the middle, leaving our defence overly exposed; the Germans exploited this brilliantly today. (sounds awfully similar to the Gerrard/Lampard problem of old)

Now enough of the general problems, let's look at today's game....where on earth were the England defence? For the first goal, Terry and Upson allowed Klose to slip through; for the last 3, they weren't even in sight. Watch Podolski's goal again and you'll see Upson on the touch line and Terry occupying no-man's land i.e. no man would dream of standing in such a dimwitted position.

I don't care if he scored today, Matt (chin)Upson was simply dreadful; he was picked over Jamie Carragher (a champions league winner, an experienced international) because Upson played well against...Slovenia. Carragher played rather well against the US and Algeria but didn't get a look in; a poor decision from Capello.

As for Glen Johnson, he spent the large majority of his time filling in for the non-existant Upson and hence, was way out of position for the 2nd goal. Caught upfield with Terry and Upson, seemed to lack the desire to do his country's bidding.

Ashley Cole was the only England defender I would say had a game which wasn't terrible. The poor lad was caught 3 on 1 for both Muller's goals through no fault of his own, shame.

Why didn't Capello go with a tried and trusted back four? Why not put Johnson with his Liverpool CB Carragher and Cole with his Chelsea colleague Terry? Or is that too logical for our Italian mastermind?

Continuing the rant; Capello's handling of the Rob Green situation was atrocious. Rob Green made one, ONE mistake and he is dropped, without hesitation. The only thing I've seen dropped quicker is the ball that Green himself tried to stop...
But what kind of message does this send to him? One mistake and you're cast away to the unknown? He made a quality save against the US but that seemed to be forgotten. Upson was far from perfect against Slovenia, barring one sliding tackle yet he remained (and quite wrongly) in position; on Capello's logic, he should've been chucked.

Green was solid, assured and confident in the qualifiers, so why not put faith in your No.1 rather than tossing him into the waste bin for David James. The irony, the bloody irony. David James' England career has been riddled with more mistakes than a dyslexic trying to spell onomatopoeia. OK, James had a good world cup, but who's to say Rob Green wouldn't've?

This world cup has been a massive reality check for our 'golden' generation, it's time for them to work for victories, not expect them to happen just because they are England; the days of England being a dominant international side are sadly over.

Capello does have a lot of changes left to do. Why he insisted on 4-4-2 with Gerrard on the left is beyond me. Remember when we tore Croatia a new one in their back yard? Playing 4-5-1 with Rooney on his own and two pacey wingers? Surely it's time for that formation to make a return; it is after all the system the large majority of our players play. If 4-4-2 was outdated when Mike Bassett was England manager, how old is it 8 years later?

So to sum up:

Play Rooney upfront on his own, Gerrard just behind him, like they do week in week out.

ALWAYS play defenders who've played together many a time, not a West Ham player who played well against league-1 standard opposition

Back your Keeper.

English lessons please.

Love you all
Rooster
x

T Minus 1 Month

2009-11-25T18:38:00.003Z

Hello, Hello, hello wonderful people and let me inform you all the long awaited return of Rooster's Marvellous Blog is b-a-c-k (which spells the word back for the dumb/lazy reader) Today's dedications go to the lads, they know who they are.

Well it's been 20 days since my last post and a load of crap has happened since then! COD 6 released, Assasin's Creed II, released, Jez went to his first football match and I've started a new fitness class.

Well the major points need to be rounded up. CoD 6 and ACII are epically good. Jez's first football match was Woking V St Albans, which Woking lost 1-0. It was perhaps the worst game of football ever. What made us really bitter was the fact that last weekend Woking beat St Albans 6-0.... We couldn't help but feel hard done by.

Today was an average day in Roosterland. PE came and went by, as did Maths; although we learnt that in our next PE lesson we shall be playing lacrosse...potential fun times methinks. Anyways, lunch appeared and the conversation was flowed as usual. The lads, Safa and myself had a wonderfully long chat about balls, cereal and general tings. The concept of the "Monoball" was discovered and laughs ensued. The best part of lunch was the retrieval of the Sacred Bin. For those of you unaware, since returning to college from the summer, the bin next to our bench was sadly moved to a distance further away, meaning one person each lunch has to undertake a bin run. Being lazy students we weren't happy. However, Jez and myself rectified this injustice and restored the bin to it's rightful position, receiving mild applause from the innocent bystanders.

"Chris, what time is it?" "Hamm..errr, Round-Up Time!" Hell yeah folks, today's topic is: Rafael Benitez.

Well I've been adamant for a long time that Rafa has been the man to bring the League back to Anfield. I've stuck with him through thick and thin but finally, last night, I've lost my patience. After watching one of the most unconvicing wins in Liverpool's history I couldn't help but feel that Rafa is sadly not up to the standard required. I've given him time, I'd've followed him to the end of the earth but now, I'm afraid he's just got to go. His decision making last night, and throughout all the season incidentally, was woeful. Brining Aquillani on for the last 30 seconds? That was a decision well worth making. Rafa's downfall began last season when he tried to sell Alonso to fund a move for Gareth Barry. Who in their right mind would do such a thing?!?! This subsequently alienated Xabi and he no longer wanted to remain at the club. Then, this summer, his spending has been somewhat questionable. Spending £18mill on a defender (bearing in mind we had the best defence in the league last year) when we clearly need some depth up top was a stupid move. Not only that, the addition of Johnson has undoubtedly unbalanced the defence as he bombards forward, meaning Carragher is resigned to covering for him, a problem we never had with the tentative Arbeloa. Finally, he's run poor Fernando Torres into the ground. The poor lad's severely injured and Rafa's still playing him just to save his own face, a desperate move from a desperate man. I'm sorry Rafa, I respect you but your time is now up.

Hell Yeah I'm back!

I leave you all not with a riddle, but a dilemna (much like the ones I could be facing at OASC) and it goes a little like this:

You are the head of a RAF rescue team. You are happily watching the Battle of Britain and swapping friendly banter when the phone rings. You are informed that a group of 6 people have come into difficulties in a nearby cave system. The caller is one of the 6 people stuck in the cave and describes the situation.

The 6 recreational cavers have become trapped in a small section of the cave network and the water is rising. There is no chance of escape with the equipment they have and the nearby RAF rescue team is the only hope of survival for the group. They estimate that within an hour there will be no room left to breathe in the section of the cave they are in. It soon becomes clear that you cannot rescue the entire team of cavers in time – you estimate 4 can be saved and there may be time for the 5th person. The sixth has little chance of survival. You have managed to get some background information on the 6 people in the cave. You must make a decision on the order of rescue.

The cave system is 20 minutes drive away but your equipment and is ready to leave now. It is 16.00 and you must leave now. At 16.20 when you arrive at the cave you will have 40 minutes left and must have a plan for the order of rescue.

Information on the 6 cavers:

Stacy Catterick – works as an accountant from Cranditz and is a married mother of two and is 36 years of age. She has no caving experience and has come on the trip with a friend – Alan Boulmer. It has recently become known to the caving group that Stacy and Alan are having an affair. Stacy has a medical history of suffering from panic attacks.

Paul Leeming – Paul is a 49 year old plumber from the Odiham area. He served 23 years in the British Army before being discharged with depression. Paul had a vast amount of caving experience and was on the British Army Mountain Rescue team. Paul has not been caving recently after a recent phase of depression.

Owen Bovington – Owen is a 49 year old priest who works in the Aldergrove area. He has no caving experience whatsoever and has recently joined the caving club to meet more people. This is Owens first time in a cave.

Sarah Brize – a 46 year old married mother of 4 from Marham in the area of “sixfingerville”. Sarah has no caving experience and has already suffered a broken arm in the cave as the waters rose.

Joe Kinloss – Joe is a 59 year old man with some caving experience. He is a managing director for a large company in Leuchars that employs around 600 people in three factories. Joe is not particularly physically fit and this was his reason for joining the caving group – as well as to make new friends.

Alan Boulmer – Alan is a 37 year old scientist from Ireland and has previous caving experience and is the leader of this team. He works with young disabled children part time and has been working with a company searching for a cure for cancer. They have recently had a breakthrough and think they are on the way to finding a cure for lung cancer. Alan is the leading mind in the breakthrough.

My Lunch

2009-11-05T20:04:00.002Z

Hello folks and let me welcome you yet again to the blog that's taking the internet by storm, Rooster's Marvellous Blog! Today's dedication goes to a top notch fella, Daniel Whitby!

The day started off with a cheeky bit of CSLA. After being introduced to risk assessments by the ever lovely Carly, we spent half an hour walking about the PE department's facilites looking for health and safety hazards. I was shocked to find that a bench was partially blocking a fire exit! Thank goodness I stepped in or else we all would've died! We then invented the next Olympic sport, which is yet to be named. I'm thing something along the lines of frizla! But anyway, it's a fusion of ultimate frisbee and hoopla and it really has the potential to become the best sport....EVER!

Then rolled THE mother of all frees, the chums thursday free! As ever, many things got done, Dave did his homework, Jez sorted out some MedSoc crap and I did nothing. We then played the Wikipedia game and Jez won 6-4-3, fun stuff. I then bowled over to shades and had a gorgeous bacon, sausage and omlette sub...heaven in a bun!
I also had a little catch up with Dan about Liverpool. How heartbreaking was last night? I'd been saying all night long that Babel should be on instead of Voronin (who is such a poor excuse for a footballer) and then Rafa sends Babel on and he scores a worldie! I was over the moon! It's odd though. Liverpool's strength last year was their defence. We've essentially kept the same back four as last year (Arbeloa out, Johnson in) and now we're as good at the back as Gary Neville is attractive, just not at all! New greek defender whose name I won't even attempt spelling is absolutely woeful and it's a pity to see my beloved Liverpool in such dire need of direction! People say we're a 2 person team but that's just not true. We had 5 first team starters out injured and Torres playing at about 60% fitness. Any club who is missing 5 first team regulars is going to struggle. Leave off Liverpool, I have faith we'll turn it around.

Well now that's over, let's bimble on to Rooster's Round Up! The topic (as mentioned yesterday) is: clothing.

And not just any clothing, I'm talking about the clothing that 12/13 year olds wear. I mean they're barely old enough to speak properly and they're all dressing like a bunch of dirty cheap hussies and it's sickening. Why are girls this young dressing this provocatively? The large majority of people in this world don't want to see some 12 year old belly hanging out or an 11 year old in hot pants, it's just not right! I mean that's the sort of stuff prostitutes wear and I'm thinking, are some of the paedophiles in this country just confused rapists? I mean just last year, this girl added me on msn. We got talking about exams and stuff and she said 'i'm doing my exams next year' she looked about 16 so it was all going ok until she asked me how old I was. I said 16... she was 13 OMFG. Why the hell would she say she was doing exams next year?!?! I felt so dirty, so unclean that I'd been chatting to a 13 year old girl. It was perhaps the worst experience of my life but it just goes to show, girls that age shouldn't dress so suggestively because they could land themselves in situations that they may not want to be in. Young girls, please, please put it away.

The last riddle was solved 1st by George! The answer: the sentence has each of the letters of the alphabet in it!

Rooster's riddle for today:
'What lives on it's own substance, but dies as soon as it devours itself?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Wiki Wiki, I'm getting sticky.

2009-11-04T19:04:00.002Z

Hello ladies and gents and let me express my thanks and extend a warm welcome to you for joining us here at Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedication goes to Mr Zac Guy! It does not go to Lewis Peters because he mocked Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Nobody likes a hater.

Like most Wednesday, today started with an hour and a half dose of PE. PE was without doubt my favourite subject last year and it's remained in that position this year. We spent the large majority of the time discussing many things, ranging from fat people, the NHS, Derren Brown and solutions to the shortage of troops in Afghanistan. As ever, we all had a good laugh and a joke at some of the comments flying about. Laurie suggested we deny fat people healthcare in an attempt to make them lose weight. I decided that to combat prison overcrowding, we take all of the murderers in prison, give them some kit and shift them off to Afghanistan. They've killed before so that definitely saves money on training them to kill! Even better, let's send some East End gangs out there! Rather than having the Marines hold down Kajaki, how about we let the East End massive assault the Taliban? That'd be a lot more exciting!

Speaking of Taliban/terrorists, there was a news story flying about that a bear killed 2 terrorists in Kashmir! Is this not perhaps the BEST idea ever? Training a load of killer bears to search for terrorists hiding in caves! Would Osama Bin Laden be hiding in a cave if he knew there was a bear going to eat him! You can imagine the news: 'Osama mauled by bear!' How awesome would that be?!?

My goodness I got a little sidetracked. Maths was Maths. Afterwards, lunch appeared and Dave had to tell his girlfriend she's hairy enough....fun times! Lunch came and went, so Zac, Dan and myself bowled to JG block and played a bit of tanks and some cheeky wikipedia game, nice times.

Well after that mid-blog rant, I feel we hold off Rooster's Round Up today, however, tomorrow's topic will be: clothing.

Rooster's Riddle remains unsolved so that will be continued for one more day!

'Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Dedication Day!

2009-11-03T20:41:00.002Z

Hello folks! Nice to see you, to see you return back to reading Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Well there's 3 deserving recipients of today's dedications! The 1st is clearing up a mistake. Daniel Marshall passed his driving test ladies and lads and that is dedication worthy! The 2nd is a surprise for an unsuspecting reader. After featuring in the previous 2 blogs, Sam Howes is receiving a dedication!! And finally, Jez is taking his BMAT tomorrow and his dedication is one of luck and hopefully success!

Well after that long-winded start lets roll on with the blog? After realising I hadn't done my maths homework over the half term, I stayed up till 2:30 monday morning doing it. It was tiring but that'll teach me for not doing work! The annoying thing about that incident was the fact that the maths homework was never taken in, what a waste that was!?!?!

Today was my wonderful Tuesday with 3 frees! I did the standard activities, Scrubs, PS3, Press-Ups, Physics. Speaking of Physics, I have now decided the title of my practical investigation: 'What is the best make shift Parachute?' Without wanting to sound like a nerd, I'm actually looking forward to it! Physics came and passed and after college, Dave came over for a cheeky bit of PS3. The world saw witness to perhaps the most unexciting games ever! Although, one game finished 0-0 AET and i won 12-11 on penalties (only one penno saved) But I was surprised to see that Butt, the B. Munich goalkeeper has a 90 penalty rating, impressive!

As we speak, Manchester United are losing 3-1 at home to CSKA Moscow. Go Moscow Go!!!!

It's that time again folks! No no no, not that time of the month, just time for....Rooster's Roundup! Today's topic is: Daylight Savings

"The clocks go back tonight, an extra hour in bed!" is the common cry! Well let me tell you folks, I hate daylight savings. Who gives a crap if you get an extra hour in bed, it happens at the weekend, you get as long as you bleeding like in bed, why need an extra hour? For the people who work at the weekend, it creates a dilemna in which you forget to put your clock back and arrive to work an hour late? Why do we run this risk? So it's lighter in the morning? Well let me tell you folks, I like it being dark in the mornings, I like it getting brighter as the day goes on, not darker. What is more miserable than getting home at 4:30 and then realising it's dark outside? How depressing is that?

But let's get down to the fundamentals, why are the government deciding what the time is? Since when did they control time? My lord, they could easily turn the clock's back 2, 3 hours if they wanted, time is incontrollable! And think about the poor folks who work overnight, having to work an extra hour, just so kids don't walk to school in the dark? How would that work for the police? A serious crime is committed at 1:30am...but which one? Seeing as the government decided to move back time, at what time did the event occur? It creates unneccessary hassle and it also means we eventually sacrifice an hour in bed, WTF!?! I like it dark in the morning, I want the day to stay as bright as it can, for as long as it can! Winter is only so dark and depressing because the nights draw in so early. Lets spruce it up a bit, make everyone less depressed! Scandinavia has the highest suicide rate of any country, because it's so dark all the time. Why intentionally make ourselves more prone to murdering ourselves? Think of the children!?!

Well the last riddle was solved by many, but it was solved 1st by Lara Crowe!!
Rooster's riddle for today: 'Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Sunday Morning Rain Is Falling....

2009-11-01T18:25:00.002Z

Hmmmm... Need to step up the effort with the blog, my apologies folks! But anywhoo, welcome back to Rooster's Marvellous Blog! Today's dedication goes to Shorts because I can!

Friday saw the return of Jez to Woking and as D-Unit passed his driving test, Jez popped round mine and we bowled over to Dan's, who then drove us into town. Dan stalled twice, much to Jez, Sam's and my delight.

After the Big Apple refused to wangle Jez free games of bowling, we headed down to the food court where someone decided that we should just eat as much pizza hut ice cream as we could. Seeing as it's 99p and free refills, it was a genius idea! How on earth can I buy a McFlurry now knowing this?!?!

Anyways, we spent a good hour or so eating ice cream and talking about laddish things, like women, food and PS3. We also had a wonderful game of tell him/her. Jez ended up shouting out that 'all women in Woking are yoo young' and Howesy told this kid he was 'fat and wearing my jumper' Needless to say, Sam was given some epic evils! I went home for work and had a very, very quite night; although I did do a wonderful job of tidying up the warehouse, which everyone was thankful for.

Saturday Night I ventured out to JR's house and had a chat with this Australian woman (who incidentally though I was 23) about everything and anything. JR also offered me the chance to work a night shift with him at some point in the near future which should be goood :)

Work today had an epically slow start, probably because the weather was so shoddy. The day picked up though and I eventually did 3 fits, including a really elongated battery fit, never good fun. I ended up lying on the rain-soaked floor after I may or may not have lost a screw in this guy's engine... I recovered it in the end though!

Well after that wonderful catch up, let's roll onto Rooster's Round Up, which today is very short, however, this could be the most important public service announcement in the history of Rooster's Marvellous Blog.

I feel it is my duty to inform the male readers of the blog that Cheryl and Ashley Cole's is getting more and more strained! This comes after Ashley refused to go to Cheryl's party, celebrating her reaching No.1 in the charts. It is becoming clear that he is not able to deal with her continuous rise to fame, almost surpassing Ashely and his efforts on the pitch. The girls of Girls Aloud were all berating him, telling him he must attend but no, Cashley refused. A distraught Cheryl promptly cancelled the party and was incredibly upset. Is this the penultimate nail in the coffin? He's already had a fling with some hairdresser, how much more can Cheryl take? I say run Cheryl, run into my strong, trim arms and it'll all be ok! Men of the UK, make yourselves available!!!

The last riddle was solved 1st Jez! The answer being a telephone!

Rooster's riddle for today: A man weighing 180 lbs. carrying 3 bowling balls weighing 10 lbs. each, approaches a large ravine. The only way to cross is a bridge with a weight limit of 200 lbs. The ravine is to far to throw or roll the balls across. How can the man cross the ravine in only one trip, with all 3 bowling balls?

Love you all!
Rooster
x

6 Day Wait!

2009-10-22T20:46:00.003+01:00

Hello folks and welcome back once again to Rooster's Marvellous Blog! After a six day break, I can confirm that I am back! The dedications for today go to: Howesy, for his wonder goal yesterday and also to D-Unit in hope he passes his driving test.

Well it's been a while since my last blog so I feel it's only fair to have a quick catch up. Friday night I had work. Saturday I had footie and in the evening, celebrated Sophie's 18th with a wonderful Burger and limo ride. I may or may not have downed an entire cupsworth of neat vodka in one go.... Sunday saw a PB for me in terms of fittings in one day, managing to complete 7. Monday evening I made my debut in the Azurri 5aside league, bagging a goal and 2 assists along the way.

Yesterday was pretty average, nothing much happened, barring football in the evening. Without letting the talent go to my head, I'm definitely the best player in the youth team, in terms of ability, speed and fitness, there is no comparison to this goal scoring machine. Today was another lazy day, lots of PS3, a cheeky bit of Scrubs and some more PS3, standard.

Rooster's roundup will be returning tomorrow.

The last riddle was solved by Mr Pat Buckingham, the answer being: AW, standing for the words and why (the letters are the first letters of the question)

Rooster's riddle for today:
'What demands an answer, but asks no question?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Last coupla days...

2009-10-22T20:46:00.002+01:00

Hello folks, long time no speak! Ok, ok, 2 days isn't a long time but it's long enough to bring your attention to. But enough with the mumbo jumbo, let me welcome you all back to Rooster's Marvellous Blog! Today's dedications go to Jez and Dave because they came over today.

Well it's been a busy few days in Roosterville. Tuesday night saw the lads head off to Liquid in Basingstoke for a decent night out. It started off ok but eventually turned into a bit of a dude fest, a 4:1 boy to girl ratio, which ruined a night which had big potential!

On Wednesday, for the first time in a LONG time, I played 2 footie matches in one day. I played for the college 3rd team and we won 4-3, sadly it wasn't all it was cracked up to be and I don't think I'll be venturing there again. The reserves played against Welling in the evening and it seemed as we were heading for a blowout. Although we lost 3-1, I don't feel we were outplayed (seeing as Welling beat Woking and we lost heavily to Woking twice, it wasn't too bad)I'll be the first to admit I didn't have the best game but I'm short on match practice....That's the excuse anyway!

I arrived at college 1st thing today only to discover that CSLA had been cancelled which meant I sat about for 4 hours before Physics. During that time, I read the news, played the 'wikipedia game' and applied to become a resident blogger on a football blogsite. Exciting stuff.

Physics rolled by and that signalled the end of the day. I went round Dave's and helped him with his paper round, we discussed many manly things, including the art of paper delivery... We then pootled back to mine where we were joined by Jez where we played a bit of COD, ate some chips, ice cream and general other shit and had a general laddish time.

Well after that little catch up, let's roll onto Rooster's Round Up. Today's topic is: Christmas

'It's far too early to be talking about Christmas!' I hear you shout! Well you'd be right and I too feel it's too early ro be talking about Christmas, but after hearing some idiot playing 'Do They Know It's Christmas' in E today, I felt it demanded a rant.

Christmas is 3 months away and everywhere you turn it's christmas, christmas, christmas and it is awful. This poor exploitation of everyone's favourite holiday is saddening, turning, what is at most, a 2 week hub bub at the end of the year into a monotonous 90 day marathon. By the time christmas is done, everyone is just fed up of yuletide because it's just so overdone!

I'm all for people being keen about Christmas, by no means am I a Scrooge, I love a bit of Christmas, but everybody knows how ridiculous this all is. I mean you don't hear the telly blazing on about summer during the depths of winter do you? Nobody rants and raves about the summer holidays in February? Why can't all the retailers see how petty and stupid this Christmas overkill is and just use their heads???

Rant over :) The last riddle was solved 1st by Superhero Mark Mckendrick, the answer being: 'He hung the hat on the end of his gun and fired' 3 others also got the correct answer but M.Mck. was 1st!

Rooster's riddle for today: What are the next two letters in the following series and why?
W A T N T L I T F S _ _

Love you all
Rooster
x

S-s-s-s-Suuunday!!

2009-10-18T20:31:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and please let me welcome you to yet another edition of the internet's most marvellous blog, Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to avid reader, Jack Scott and another avid reader, Becca Jenner!

Well I'll start off with the news that Becca Jenner has confessed to being a blog regular and the only way I can repay her is by announcing her life goal. One point in her life, Becca will open up her own tool shop, called Jenner Tools. Barring our wonderful year 9 English class, this is my most favouritist memory of her :D

Today was a pretty amusing day at work. I managed to complete three 3b's fittings, the last being perhaps the easiest one I've ever done. Anyone who owns a '98 Renault Clio, you are lucky to have the EASIEST car to change headbulbs. I also spent half an hour helping this one gent out with his shopping list of stuff, which was good times.

Every once in a while as a sales retailer, you get a moment which screams at you, 'The customer isn't always right' I had one of those moments today. An eastern European couple came up to me today, holding a spray can of green paint and a spray can of blue paint. 'Our car colour is slighty small green and slightly blue, which of these 2 colours is it?' Well I'm not psychic so I had no idea, I said 'I'm sorry but I don't know what colour your car is, is it outside? I'd be more than happy to find a colour match for you' 'Yes but what colour paint do we need for our car?'
Me: 'I don't know what colour your car is, if your car isn't here, I can't tell you what colour it is. 'You have been very unhelpful, we're never coming back'

What can I say, I was stunned into silence... I mean really, what did they want me to do?

I'm a bit short of round up topics at the moment, so I think it's only fair that the new readers get a taste of Roundups gone by, here's the ORIGINAL Round up topic: Fat Kids

That's right ladies and gentleman Fat Kids. Everyday when you're walking down the street, everybody that you meet, has a porky younger sibling. I personally think it's the parents fault. I mean if you offer any child sweets or junk food, they're not going to say no are they? So when you see 3 year olds weighing 10-12 stone, something tells me that they don't visit the MaccyD's drive through every hour. They must be getting food from somewhere else. Thats right, their lazy selfish 'rents, feeding their kids shit and then wondering why their child is fat.

I say we bring back maSS execution! Anybody who has a BMI over 29 and is under 9 years old AUTOMATICALLY gets their parents killed. Then the kids don't want to get fat because their parents die and the parents....don't want to die. It's the perfect solution to the ultimate problem. Better still, impose age limits on junk food, that'll teach those porkers for being fat, give 'em a big life choice: Not eating, having fun times in prison with a man called bludge....

Yesterday's riddle was solved 1st by my Grandfather, the answer: 40 degrees farenheit because at 20, water is ice!

Rooster's riddle for today: 'What is more useful when it is broken?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

"Kick her, kick her in the head!"

2009-10-17T18:49:00.002+01:00

Hello, hello, hello and welcome yet again to yet another Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to Dan Whitby for his proper outfield debut and to d'unkanowns and the rest of the KC.

Seeing as there's been no blog since thursday, I thought I'd start off with my thoughts on the new series of Scrubs. I have to say, after being an avid watcher of scrubs for a while that the new episodes are absolutely class. JD's inner monologue is funnier than ever and he's hooking up with Elliot again. Elliot is smoooooking hot! Annie's last night was very....different? Lara and Annie got very drunk, the KC had a wonderful game of tell him/her and the night just seemed to zoooom by.

After a series of games against Woking, the ressies were back in league action against Goldaming. The last time the ressies played Goldaming, we lost 9-1 so it didn't look too promising. Sadly, we lost again, but were only hit for 5. I say only, it's the least we've conceded in the league for nearly a month! McKendrick was back to his referee hating best and Whitby ventured into the wonderful world of Right Wing. He played ok, but he is certainly no Chris Rousell ;)On returning from footie, I ate perhaps the bigget pizza I'd ever seen. Om nom nom nom.

That about sums up the recent happenings, which means it's time for..............................................................................................Rooster's Round Up!!

Today's topic: Top 5 goals

We'll start with Number 5, a beauty from Gus Poyet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNdefw7u-Eo

Number 4 is this screamer from a Mr Wayne Rooney
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6wO3HhOu6Y

Number 3 is perhaps the greatest free-kick of all time, step up Juninho!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNOnU2uT7mg

Number 2 is the ever class, Steve Gerrard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgn5tD8CEE0

And the big Number 1. I'm a scouser so I'm going to be biased, but what a goal from Riise!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPliOGMEALo

You can debate them all you like but all of those goals are worldies!

The last riddle was solved 1st by George. Had some great suggestiong (cooker (hicksy) and penis (shorts and hicksy)) but the correct answer was a surname!

Rooster's riddle of the day is: In Jamaica, if you drop a steel ball weighing five pounds from a height of 45 inches, will it fall more rapidly through water at 20 degrees Fahrenheit or water at 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Or will it make no difference?

Love you all
Rooster
x

B-L-O-G

2009-10-15T18:21:00.002+01:00

Hi folks and welcome yet again to another marvellous edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to Dave and Jez cos I write the blog, I make the decisions!

Well today was yet another average day in the average world of illness. I watched some telly, played some PS3, ravaged a bag of fruit pastilles, pretty standard really.

As I had nothing better to do, I ended up doing some soul searching and I ended up wallowing in a world of what ifs? The big one was, what if I don't get into the RAF? And really that's a huge question. What if I don't get into the RAF? All my life plans, goals are pinned on 4 days in Lincolnshire. But what if I don't get in? I have no idea what I'd want to do with my life. The only alternative I see would be joining the Army as a pilot. But even then, that's subjective to aptitude. I thought momentarily that I could maybe be a doctor. Then I realised A) I don't do Chem or Bio. B) I'm not going to get the AAB I need. So no RAF for me is not something I'd like to consider.

Ahhh well, Rooster's Round up follows now, where the topic is: Football Loyalty.

Loyalty in football is something that pundits and the public go on and on about but I don't see where they are coming from? "Oh he's just moved for the money, he has no loyalty" is a phrase chucked about a lot these days but really why do people care? If you were offered more money to do the same job would you turn it down? I mean if Halfords in Woking offered me £6.00 an hour to do what I'm doing now, I'm not going to turn it down. People still think of players as heroes who have an obligation to their employers but that's all they are, employees. People who moan at footballers for making a move for money are just hypocritical.

Really sub-standard blog today but I don't feel all that great.

Yesterday's riddle hasn't be solved so it's being continued for another day.
'The Pope has it but he does not use it. Your father has it but your mother uses it. Nuns do not need it. Your lady friend's husband has it and she uses it. What is it?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

The Peking Inn

2009-10-14T19:42:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and welcome back yet again to another edition of Rooster's Marvellous blog. As it was his 18th yesterday, Mark Hayward gets a dedication. As does Nuge, lil Nuge, President Nixon, Mercy, Harriet and Jade :D

Well yesterday evening was very good. Hayward's 18th was at the Peking Inn and I anticipated breaking down half way with my illness. But I dosed myself up to the eyeballs with lemsip and various other paracetamol-filled products and headed off to dinner. I had a good catch up with both Nuges and had a very good chin wag with President Nixon, who I have to say folks, is a top notch fella. As young people do, we discussed some very important issues, such as 15 on 1 sex, the economic climate, moosing, the 'i'm going in for the kill' eyes and Nuge's award for modesty.

Today was back to the usual run of the mill illness day. I had to phone into college sick due to my attendance dropping below 90%, meaning I couldn't sign out online :\ Having been lying about the house for the last month or so, I only felt it fair that I got round to watching the curious case of Benjamin Button. IMO it was a pretty decent film, not 'best film ever' material, but good nonetheless. After a huge Loren moment, Dave popped round for a bit for a cheeky bit of PS3, standard stuff.

Now we roll nicely onto Rooster's Roundup. Today's topic: Things that annoy me.

The fact that scientists have realised the world isn't get hotter, so the phrase 'global-warming' is being replaced with 'climate change' to keep on scaring people.

People driving at 30mph through all speed limits.

Really slow walking people.

People who try too hard to be 'cool'

People who take life too seriously.

People who have no sense of humour.

Drivers who forget to cancel their indicators and drive past numerous junctions, roundabouts, that they're 'indicating' to go down.

People who don't know when to use 'your or you're' or 'there, their or they're'

Unfounded arrogance.

Ethnic football players screaming and screeching at each other in a high pitched yelp.

People who shout down when they're on the phone, calm down they can still hear you!

Dad putting his loudspeaker on when listening to answer phone messages.

Manners....well the lack of them.

People reading over my shoulder- do this at your peril!

That's enough for the mo methinks.

Yesterday's riddle was solved by George, the answer: a deck of cards.

Rooster's riddle for today: 'The Pope has it but he does not use it. Your father has it but your mother uses it. Nuns do not need it. Your lady friend's husband has it and she uses it. What is it?'

'If death was a horrible thing, corpses would complain.'

Love you all
Rooster
x

The Zed In Striped Pyjamas

2009-10-12T21:39:00.002+01:00

Hello lads and ladessess and welcome to Monday's edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to: Shorts, because I can, Jez for our epic NZ round, Dave for coming over and keeping me company and finally to a (hopefully) new reader, Jamie Romp!

With the dedications over, let's get this blog on the road with an account of my day.
Well it wasn't mentioned in the last blog but Rooster has been struck down with some sort of disease, rendering me unable to go to college.

Well as most ill days go, it was a day of general schlomping for me. Lots of Lemsip, lots of telly/PS3. During the morning I managed to watch Friday night's Peep Show (which was as funny as ever) and the start of a brand new series of Lie To Me. Jack- Lie To Me is on right after Bones and if you don't watch, DO, watch it NOW! Ialso watched 'the boy in striped pyjamas' and I thought it was very good and painted a better mental picture of the horror that was the holocaust.

PS3 sesh started when Jordy got home and I'm pleased to announce I destroyed him at Fifa (winning one game 10-1) and NHL (winning 10-4) Dave came over for an hour and a bit in the evening and we also destroyed Jordy at Fifa.

After some buritos, ice cream and some more Lemsip, I sat down for a Nazi Zombies round with Jez. Sadly we were paired with a n00b first time round and abandoned him. Then we uncovered 2 absolute gems of players and we reached an all time high of round 26, getting 2400 combined zombie kills in the process!

Well after that sick filled day, let's crack on with the filler sections, starting with Rooster's Roundup, where today's topic is: Robbie Williams

Let Me Entertain You, Angels, Strong, Rock DJ are some of many hits Mr Williams has had, not forgetting his glorious days in Take That. But having heard his new song on X-Factor last night, I can't help but realise that he is a shadow of his former self. I'm not talking about his personality, he is still the same natural born entertainer but his music has changed big time.

Growing up, Robbie was my favourite artist and I knew (and still know) the words to a fair few of his songs and he had some amazing songs, but his recent stuff is crap in comparison. Such awful songs as Rudebox and his new song Bodies are 2 perfect examples of his poor new material. In those songs there is not a hint of the Robbie of old, no glimmer of hope, no glimpse of the former superstar.

It's getting very sad. One king of Pop has literally died but it's sad to see another becoming such an average, No CRAP artist. IMO Angels is one of the greatest songs of our generation and now look at the tripe Robbie is coming out with. OK I can appreciate that every song he sings isn't going to be the most amazing song ever, but some bands have been going for years and still writing world beating music...ironically Take That are the prime example. I hope he gets back with Take That because I feel it will re-ignite his declining solo career.

Well yesterday's riddle was a washout with some exchange rate issues (original riddle was in dollars and hence different notes were used) Anyway, yesterday's riddle was solved 1st by Mark McKendrick, the answer he gave: 3 x £20 1 x £2 and 2 50p's

Rooster's riddle for today: 'What is put on a table, cut, but never eaten?'

'The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence'

Love you all
Rooster
x

A Week Is A Long Time

2009-10-11T17:38:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and after 9 days without a post, Rooster's Marvellous blog is back in business! After the week's events, there is only one possible person/superhero who could receive a dedication and that man is Mark McKendrick.

Well it's been a busy week since posting so I feel it's only fair to do a quick summary of the key events:

- Ressies lost to woking 8-1
- I got a new phone
- Jack Scott turned 18
- Jack Scott's cooking sent me in to a coma.

The main focus point of this blog will be the events of Tuesday night, on which Cobham FC Reserves lost 8-1 to the Cards.

Well the scoreline says it all really so there's not much point elaborating on the game itself. The focal point of the game, from a Cobham point of view, was the diabolical linesmaning on display. When Pete Knight accuses referees of favouring a club because they are a 'bigger team' I always dismiss it as rumour and mere speculation. But never in all my life have I seen such bias refeering. EVER. Numerous handballs were waved away due to their 'accidental nature' only to see a penalty given to Woking for an accidental handball. The biggest travesty was Woking's 5th goal. The linesman was half way between the goal line and the halfway line. Woking had a shot which crashed off the underside of the crossbar and bounced about a yard away from the goal line. To the bemusement of the away players, fans and every single person at Kingfield, the linesman awards a goal.

This dubious decision set superhero Mark McKendrick into a fit of rage in which he was booked and promptly substituted. This is where the antics began. He began warming down near the payrolled linesman and started winding him up, questioning his decisions and just being a pain in the arse. But the main magic happened moments later when Mark sat down in the dugout. Cobham had a shot which thundered off the cross bar and went off for a throw, to which Mark shouted 'That was in!!' and then made explained he could see it went in because he had x-ray/spiderman vision and, like the linesman, could see the ball had crossed the line, legendary stuff. Mark also added another goal to his season tally yesterday with a controlled header early on in the match.

Meanwhile, Jack Scott turned 18 and introduced me to many of his wonderful friends like Holly, Charli, Jamie and Matt. He also sent myself and the gang into a sugar induced coma with the wonderful bronkie, the amazing offspring of a cookie and a brownie :D :D

The last riddle was solved 1st by Jez, the answer being: 4 daughters 3 sons.

Rooster's riddle of the day: How can you give someone £63 using six notes/coings, without using any one pound coins?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Well that's about all really, we'll be back tomorrow for some more marvellous action

Nothing but your jim-jams on.

2009-10-02T20:31:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and welcome to another marvellous edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedication goes to the spider murdering angel/witch/devil Ellie.

Well as Farnborough 6th tradition goes, every Jeans for Genes day we all come in dressed in our PJ's and it was infact jeans for genes day today, meaning we all came in, in our jammies. I was sporting some beautful tight-fitting trackies, standard t-shirt and my dressing gown. Some people (i.e. Jez) went really OTT by wearing nothing but boxers and a dressing gown, dedication if I ever saw it.

Maths was well mathsy and doesn't deserve a mention. PE however was a different kettle of fish. We did 10 minutes of solid plyometrics work involving jumping, sit ups (avec medicine balls) and all that jazz. Needless to say, it was very tiring.

Lunch came around and we were all introduced to 'arse out of shorts girl' which is pretty self explantory I think. A girl was wearing PJ shorts and her arse was hanging out the bottom of them. She received many a comment from the approving boys of Farnborough 6th.

Work came round and I finally discovered Ellie's true personality. Midway through the shift, I had a stinking headache and she was a complete angel and gave me her spare bottle of coke. But what a difference 60 minutes makes. The very same evening, I caught her murdering a poor innocent spider with a heavy weight. :\ Being a witch, she was quite remorseless about the whole thing, evil I say, evil.

Rooster's round up today is actually a story, a conversation which I overheard at work today. It went something like this:

Ellie: 'And your total comes to £**.**

Customer: 'Thank you very much, could I have a bag please?'

Ellie 'Ok, but that will be 2p extra'

Customer: 'Why do I have to pay for the bag?'

Ellie: 'It's the new company policy'

Customer: 'Well I don't want my stuff anymore, give me a refund!'

Ellie: 'You don't want any of your stuff because you have to pay for the bag?'

Customer: 'Hell Yeah, I don't want them if I had to pay for the stupid little bag!'

(I was called away before I heard the end of the story but I think Ellie just beat the customer up or forced him into paying the 2p)

The last riddle was solved 1st by Aaron Cameron. An honourable 2nd goes to Pat Buckingham, the answer: a sponge.

Rooster's riddle of the day: 'In the Smith family, each daughter has the same number of brothers as she has sisters. Each son has twice as many sisters as he has brothers. How many sons and daughters are in the family?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

TGINF!!

2009-10-01T20:31:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and let me welcome you yet again to another marvellous edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedicants are my 2 favourite chums, Dave and Jez.

Well after no blog yesterday, let me fill you in (no innuendo intended)

Wednesday: Well PE saw the class take on a series of tests in the name of finding out our maximum strengths. I'm pleased to say I managed to lift 90KG on the seated row which was a class record! I also hopped 25m in 4.15 seconds, a class record! Then we had to do the dreaded sit up bleep test. Out of the 8 levels, I reached level 4.3 which is pretty average. Maths came around and we had the core 3 september test and I was not looking forward to it. I honestly thought I was going to fail big time but I managed to score 39/50! After college I popped into town and purchased a new pair of running trainers and 2 new hoodies from good ol' primark, money well spent.

Cobham Reserves squared up against Woking Reserves in the evening and sadly it was a losing cause, although Mark McKendrick nearly added to his goal tally, but his 30 yard screamer was cruelly denied by a superb save from the woking stopper.

Well this morning started off with a 3 hour sports leader award session which was sadly a huge waste of time. The college roped in a woman to teach us multi-skills yet treated us like 6 year olds. She claimed her games were fun yet we spent most of the time standing about doing nothing, which was really unentertaining.

Physics was pretty bog standard, nothing majorly exciting, although one guy suffered the rath of Rooster. My phone went off in class and someone said to me: 'awww is that your mum?' without missing a beat I turned and said to him 'Nah it's yours.' Served. After college, Dave and Jez came over for an epic COD sesh which lived up to it's potential, laughs were had all round, mainly at Jordy's expense, nice times indeed.

Which leads me nicely on to Rooster's Round up, where today's topic is: Crimewatch.

Is it me or is crimewatch one of the greatest TV shows out there? It's full of fact, drama, some epic reconstruction and to top it all off, it's based on real stories! However, the frustrating thing about it all is it's only like once a month? Seriously? Crimewatch is one of the best shows around and it's only on once a month!!! I suppose that there's only so much crime out there but surely the more it's on, the more criminals get caught?

I love the reconstructions, the pull no punches nature of it all and the knowledge that it is all real. I vividly remember once, Crimewatch featured the robbery on a jewellery store in Chobham. The reconstruction followed the getaway car and it started driving towards my house! Never in my life was TV so gripping, real burglars driving towards my house?!!? EPIC stuff. More, More I say!!!

A very rare occassion as there were 0 winners of Rooster's Riddle!! Which means it will be continued for one more day, if no winners are found, the answer will be revealed!

'I have holes on the top and bottom.
I have holes on my left and on my right.
And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water.
What am I?'

'It's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success.'

Love you all
Rooster
x

OASC!!!

2009-09-29T21:00:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and welcome back to yet another edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Seeing as he came round today for some Cod (no chips) my dedication goes to Dave!

For those blisfully unaware, Rooster's Marvellous Blog started out as 'Rooster's RAF progress report' I'm going back to my roots today as I've been given my dates for my visit to the Officer and Aircrew Selection Centre (19th January 2010 for those interested). It's a 4 day course which will test my aptitudee and my potential as an RAF Officer. Let's break it down:

Day 1: Arrive at RAFC Cranwell, get papers sorted, sign some forms, relax with chums and crack open a beer.

Day 2: 6:00am wake up, breakfast at 6:30. Follwed by aptitude testing. These tests last for 7 hours and test everything from hand-eye-foot co-ordination, spatial awareness to verbal reasoning. After the tests, I get whisked away and given feedback on my results. This is make or break time No.1. If my aptitude is good enough, fair game, if not it's the end of the road for me :\

Day 3: Hangar exercises. Involve ropes, planks, barrels and tyres, team must reach one side to the other. Variations included. Also there are group discussions and a group planning exercise where we must solve some sort of problem. Interview and Medical. Make or break time No.2. Not good enough on the interview? Goodbye. Not anatomically suitable? Goodbye Pilot dreams!

Day 4: Fitness test. Bleep test + press ups and sit ups done in one minute, should be a doddle.

Then a 3 week wait till I find out if I'm in or not.

Well after that wonderful insight, let's get on with my day. I did nothing majorly exciting, during the day.

I had a test in Physics and I must admit, I'm still feeling the effects of my illness and had a bit of a mental block, never a good thing. However, after the test we discovered the marvellous world of liquid nitrogen! We turned a sandwich into a smashable block of frozen lunch. Not only that, we smashed a rubber tube and an apple, all very amusing. On the way out of the college car park, the east coast V west coast war was stepped up a notch as i told the girl in the west coast saxo NEVER to mess with the east.

After college, Dave came over for a PS3 sesh, bit of FIFA, bit of COD. Jordy, Dave and myself went on a splendid COD streak, the worst score out of our first 3 rounds was my round. 195 points 6 deaths. Epic stuff.

Which leads me nicely on to Rooster's Round Up, where today's topic is: Gordon Brown's speech.

It has come to my attention that Gordon Brown has made a speech highlighting what Labour are going to do in the next 5 years. I haven't heard the speech myself but I think it went something like this:

Brown: 'We're going to give you cake, lots of cake and ummmmm same sex marriage? yes i'm sure that's something everyone we can enjoy... errrr pot noodle? Darling, does the nation like pot noodle?'

Darling: ummm why yes Gordy I think they do.

Brown: Well in that case lots of pot noodle! And warmth! I will make it sunny and eliminate global warming at the same time! Warmth for the elderley! ummm cakes? Did I say cake? I wouldn't mind a cake actually, all icey and delicious yum yum yum, cake in my belly mmmmm.

Ed Balls: Gordy, you're being distracted.

Brown: ahh yes umm free aeroplanes, cookies and milk, clones of edward cullen, well for Mrs Brown anyway, more idiots for us to laugh at....football I will bring football success to this glorious nation....What? Oh yes GB doesn't have a football team....Olympics I will give you the Olympics!! Have I said cake? mmm I do like cake, especially birthday cake, all jammy and the icing and the fluffy light texture!

Ed Balls: Gordy you're being distracted again. Darling, shall we put the subtitles on for him to read?

Darling: Yes, roll the subtitles!

Brown: Rolls? Yes I like rolls aswell, everyone should have rolls! Rolls and butter, Darling you're a genius, the world will love us again!

Oh the government you are so funny.

Yesterday's riddle winner made it his 2nd in a row! Ben Hinge correctly answered 0ft. As the rope was 250 ft from the ground, the rope must be directly in half for it to drop the full 500ft.

Rooster's Riddle for today: I have holes on the top and bottom.
I have holes on my left and on my right.
And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water.
What am I?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Monday is no funday.

2009-09-28T19:12:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and welcome to yet another edition of Rooster's Marvellous blog! Today's dedication goes to Cobham Reserves' very own manager/player/superhero/resident northerner, Mark McKendrick.

Well after a polite request from superman himself, it appears there has been a distinct lack of Mark McKendrick in my blog, which I'm ratifying right now. On Saturday, Mark scored his 2nd goal in as many appearances for the reserves. Saturday's goal was lashed into the back of the net after some neat interchanges. However, it is his goal against Chessington and Hook which is the one I'll remember. Bearing in mind Mark had done zilcho pre-season training, he displayed an epic turn of pace, he beat one man with a superlative body fake and stroked a left footed effort past a helpess keeper. Kudos to Mark.

Well as a bout of illness kept myself out of college today, I decided to try and be productive as possible. I attempted to do some Physics but I just couldn't get my head round the numbers and I sat staring blankly at my paper. This 10 some minutes re-affirmed to me why I didn't come to college today. As I realised I wasn't going to get any work done, I sat down to play some PS3. Despite my ill nature, I managed a 5 win streak online on FIFA and followed that up with several good rounds of COD.

In the meanwhile I also turned Rooster's Roost into a launderette as on Saturday, I talked my way out of a £6 fine by offering to wash the kit from the game. I can confirm that all the kit smells all lavender and cammomile-y.

Which leads me nicely on to Rooster's Roundup, where today's topic is: Charges against policeman.

Well being the son of a policeman, I feel the following rant is more than justified. Today it was announced a Police Officer who smacked a woman on the leg during the G20 protests. Now from the description I've given you, you're probably thinking 'damn right, policeman shouldn't be hitting women'. If that is the case, may I point you to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwjL6ARBGRE

Notice how the policeman shuns the woman away? Notice how the woman comes back for more and starts screaming at the officer, who then shuns her away. She comes back for yet some more and after he gives her one last ultimatum, which she ignores, he smacks her right on the leg. 'Have some of that' I said as I watched the video and yet the officer is being prosecuted. I mean, what action would you have taken as the police officer? As a matter of fact, what do the police/government think was the correct action? I sure as hell wouldn't stand there and take that crap from the bitch. I say let him go and lock the woman up for not obeying a policeman's orders.

After a string of 2nd places, Ben Hinge won the riddle yesterday! The answer being: A catepillar!

Rooster's Riddle for today is a toughie!

'Two vertical 750 ft posts have a 1000 ft rope stretched between their topmost points. The rope sags to within 250 ft from the ground. How far apart are the posts?'

'Live for something rather than die for nothing'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Ice Cream-less Sundae!

2009-09-27T18:59:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and thank you once again for tuning in to Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to Howesy for passing his driving test and to Ben Hinge because he is sitting next to me at this very moment.

Well today was a pretty average day as far as days go. I had work and then a bit of ps3 and now I write to you now.

Work started at 10:00 as per usual although I spent the 1st hour and a half helping this poor bloke fit his number plates. I spent nearly 45 minutes trying to wrestle his old number plate free from the severely rusted screws. Then I spent 30 or so minutes looking for a drill to drill holes into the new number plates. However, the drill was nowhere in site and I decided to use a electric scewdriver instead and the number plate cracked. One new number plate and 3 sticky pads later, the plate was finally fixed into position, after which, the guy paid me a £5 tip which I was incredibly thankful for.

The day ebbed and flowed for a bit longer until I was tasked with a double head bulb fitting on an Alfa Romeo. This thing was tiny (the alfa, not any dirty innuendo) so trying to get the bulbs in was a nightmare. However, I persevered and sent the happy customer along his way with 2 shiny new headlamps.

That was about it from work and on return home, the onset illness began to kick in. I became lethargic, angry and started feeling generally ill. My knee is still sore from football yesterday and I'm praying it's only bruising. I have college work to do and depending on my state of wellbeing tomorrow, I may or may not be in attendance. I made myself a chilli pizza which cheered me up slightly.

After having one of those days, I'm in prime ranting mood and Rooster's Roundup topic today is: Telemarketers.

Telemarketers. We all know who I'm talking about right? Those randomers who ring you up and try and sell you something or try and sell you some bullcrap package. At first, you're excited because you've got a call, then you hear the telemarketer speak and your heart sinks, the mind races. How did you get my number and why are you calling it? If I found a random phone number I definitely wouldn't ring the number and then ask a load of stupid questions. But not only that, they're the most uninteresting people in the world, they have no souls! When you try and have fun with them, they get all arsey with you! I mean really, they are complete strangers calling your house, probing into your life and they excpect you not to get arsey. So when you insist they are really your friend Dave playing a trick on you, you'd expect them to have a sense of humour, but alas no. My favourite one is asking them for their number. When they refuse, say "yeah I guess it'd be annoying if a complete stranger had your number, called you and started asking a load of pointless, personal questions." When they agree, tell them where to shove their phone up their hypocritical backside. Finally, my favourite telemarketers are the ones who pretend to be from England and when it's clear they are not. For example, this guy rang me up about 3 weeks ago, he had the thickest Indian accent I'd ever heard yet he said "Hello my name is John, are you interested in my phone package?" Bollocks. Your name isn't John, nor is it Dave. I bet you it's something like praman al jaalabad, not John. So telemarketers of the world, piss off and leave me alone.

Woooowwweee, the roundup is well and truly back. Yesterday's riddle was solved 1st by George. The answer being, she walks up the bridge, just before the guard comes out, she turns and walks back the way she came. The guard assumes she came from switzerland, no papers, no entry meaning she gets dumped into Switzerland.

Rooster's riddle for today: 'What animal has no wings, but yet will fly?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Saturday Night Blog-away

2009-09-26T21:08:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and welcome to this saturday night edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to Emily, Kelly, Whitby and Abbey (y)

Well it's been a busy few days in Roosterland hence the lack of posts thursday and friday night. However, we are back for this wonderful saturday night and back at it's glorious best.

Well Thursday was certainly a decent day as far as decent days go. CSLA had a wonderful surprise in store as I discovered that a certain Benjamin Minett is a member of the class which can only be a good thing! I then had a free with Dave and Jez and I showed Jez the shocking 'split face man video' in which a man smashes his face onto a concrete ledge and literally splits is face in two. For those of you of a squeamish nature, do NOT watch the video if somebody says so! Thursday night saw the youth team in action in the FA youth cup. Despite a fantastic performance we went down 2-1. Special mention goes to Dan Whitby because he had one of the greatest games I've seen him play, I was genuinely proud. Friday was pretty standard, nothing majorly exciting college-wise although after work I went to Whitby's, only to
remember he was at Abbey Palmer's 13th. I popped over there and a right boogey!

After finding my way to the Reserve team bench last week, I was restored to my place between the sticks today, howwweeever, we lost 5-3 although I don't think I had a bad game, ironic as it sounds.

I've got no idea what to do as a round up topic so today I'll pull out a classic. Rooster's Round Up: Stupid Sayings

Ahhh yes, saying stupid things, everybody does (albeit some more than others) but it isn't moments of sheer stupidity that I'm ranting about (i.e. Chloe H. "showing us how to make a boat") it's comments that attempt to sound reasonable but infact do the opposite.

The classic one for me is about spiders. People who are scared of spiders have a habit of climing up onto something, screaming, shouting and trying to beat said spider with an object of sorts. Then pops up some pleb who always says "Its more scared of you than you are of it." I have to say folks that, that is the biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard. I'm not scared of spiders at all but some people I do know are absolutely petrified. Spiders more scared of us? How many times have you seen a spider walk into a room, see a person, then proceed to jump on a chair, attempt to beat said person with a mop shreaking "AHHHH IT'S A PERSON GET IT OUT OF HERE!" ?No it doesn't happen. So whoever says "Spiders are more scared of you" No, no they are not.

There are several other stupid things that people say. E.g. "It's always in the last place you look" Well, no shit Sherlock. I've found the remote but stuff it, let's carry on looking! Another classic I heard in the cinema several years ago. Some dickweed sat next to me said "Did you seeee that!??" in complete shock and awe. I said to him "No I didn't actually. Thank you for notifying me that something happened in the film. I wasn't actually watching, I just like paying £5 just to stare at ceilings." Did I see that? Yes mate I did. There are so many classic stupid statements/questions. I end the round up with a personal favourite of mine. The old saying "Oh you just want your cake and eat it to" Well what kind of stupid saying is that? What on earth is the point of having a cake if you're not allowed to eat it? Whose cake am I allowed to eat, someone else's? Is there a never ending chain of people eating each other's cakes because we're not allowed to eat our own. Well idiots of the world, I will have my cake and I shall eat it.

After a long time away, Sarah Abrams returned to riddle victory, the answer was charcoal.

Rooster's Riddle for today: A woman who lived in germany during world war two wanted to cross the german/swiss border in order to escape nazi pursuers. The bridge which she is to cross is a half mile across, over a large canyon. Every three minutes a guard comes out of his bunker and checks if anyone is on the bridge. If a person is caught trying to escape german side to the swiss side they are shot. If caught crossing the other direction without papers they are sent back. She knows that it takes at least five minutes to cross the bridge, in which time the guard will see her crossing and shoot her. How does she get across?

'Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Multi-Stage Madness!

2009-09-23T18:10:00.002+01:00

Hello again folks and thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to read Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to Shorts, the shortsmobile and to Aaron, the king of the train tickets.

Well today was a decent day in Roosterland. PE first thing in the morning was pretty ok, although we were blindsided by having to do a bleep test. I hadn't done a bleep test, or much heavy exercise in a long time so it i wanted to see how well I'd do. I can announce I scored 10.5. I was actually quite annoyed by my poor showing, especially seeing as my PB is 12.5. However, the RAF minimum standard is 9.1 so I'm well above that, which can only be a good thing.

Maths came round and it was pretty mathematical, nothing majorly exciting or out of the ordinary to announce. Although, I did do a wonderful poster about modulus functions, complete with a 'what not to do guide' I think it's safe to say, it was a good poster.

Now there has been a vicious rumour flying round that I live in the cranstock centre. I have to stress that this would be impossible due to the strict curfews and lockdowns that i have at Broadmoor, so the Cranstock rumour is completely untrue.

Well that was about it as far as my day went, so we roll onto Rooster's Roundup which is showing hints of becoming a regular once again.

The topic today is: Global Warming.

Ahh global warming. The world is getting hotter, the ice caps are melting an the polar bears will have nowhere to live, yada yada yada. Many things have been blamed for it, fossil fuels, flatulent cows and the wonderful gas carbon dioxide aka CO2. "The word is becoming hotter because of the 'greenhouse effect' and the heat is being trapped in, that's why global warming occurs, read the news or ask an expert if you don't believe me"
Yes folks, we could easily blame global warming on these causes if you wanted but I think the predominant and most obvious cause is being ignored. Is it just me or does anybody else realise the sun is actually to blame for global warming? I mean really, I'm no scientist, albeit I do Physics, but it does appear to me that the sun is giving off a large amount of heat? 'Carbon emissions are the cause of global warming!' I here you say? All i've got to say to that is when i burn my toast, I'm not going to blame my bread. I'm on to you and your sick game Mr Sun.

Yesterday's riddle was solved 1st by the ever elusive Aaron Cameron. The answer being: fire.

Rooster's riddle for today is: 'When you buy me i'm black, when you use me I'm red, when you throw me away I'm grey, what am i?'

'Those who criticise our generation forget who raised it.'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Three Frees Tuesday

2009-09-22T20:15:00.002+01:00

Hello, hello. For those of you wondering what on earth is going to be in Rooster's Marvellous Blog today, here's a little taster: Drama, Physical endeavour, scandal, dangerous chemicals and chuck wagon. Today's dedication goes to my favourite 3 doctors, Kieran, Jonny and Jez.

We start with the startling events of last night. I was watching an old episode of Mythbusters and was shocked to discover that Elephants are indeed scared of mice. I never thought I'd see it but low and behold, elephants do appear to be scared of mice. I also had a delightful conversation with Shorts about pimping out the shortsmobile and it being the envy of the college car park, tres amusant.

Today was a wonderful day in Rooster's calendar as it is 3 frees Tuesday! 3 frees tuesday is very much like Ronseal 5 year wood stain, does it exactly what it says on the tin because on tuesdays I have 3 free periods.

As with most time off, you like to make the most of it and today was no exception. On today's to do list was: Ring RAF Odiham about a station visit, ring the tax man and ask why I'm being taxed and ring the AFCO in Brighton for some more details about my impending trip to Northumberland.

All of the tasks were completed, although the RAF Odiham people weren't in. The tax man said I need to wait till April to get a rebate and my trip to Northumberland is a 2 day thingy which seems pretty decent.

On top of all this, I managed to play some COD, watch some Scrubs, do about 100 sit ups and go for a run to top it all off. Seeing as I haven't been for a run in a while, doing the 1.4 miles in 9:26 made me feel very happy.

When it eventually came round to college, I had the solitary Physics lesson. We were learning about the speed of gas particles and I witnessed it first hand, gas particles move very fast. We saw the wonderful brown yet dangerously toxic Bromine gas moving about really quickly, riveting stuff. Well that was about it for the day, barring my epic overtake of the chuck wagon in the college park.

After more realisations and strong opinions, I've decided to whip out Rooster's Roundup for a 3rd blog in a row. Today's topic: FA hypocrisy.

Well those pricks at the FA are up to it again, screwing over every club except Man Utd. For those wondering WTF I'm on about, let me explain. Emmanuel Adebayor is going to be suspended for celebrating infront of the Arsenal fans. The thing that has wound me up is Man Utd's goal celebration for their late late winner at Old Trafford. Gary Neville, an unused substitue sprinted up the touchline to celebrate infront of the Man City fans, as did Alex Ferguson and yet the FA are going to do sod all about it. Does anybody not see the hypocrisy here? Adebayor celebrates infront of away fans and gets done over. Gary Neville AND Alex Ferguson, 2 people who should know better, do the same and nothing is being done. Is it because the City fans didn't overreact and hurt a steward? Maybe. But this brings me back to Adebayor who is being punished because the Arsenal fans hurt a steward. Why oh why is Emmanuel being punished for the actions of the thuggish gunner fans? Fine Arsenal for failure to control their fans. Disgusting.

Yesterday's riddle was solved 1st by Jez. The answer being an Arrow. An honourable mention also goes to 2nd place Ben Hinge.

Rooster's riddle for today is: Feed me and I Live
Give me Drink and I Die

What Am I?

And finally Rooster's Realisation:

'A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Monday Monday

2009-09-21T20:36:00.002+01:00

After the weekend off, let me welcome you back to Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedications go to Tyson Gay for his epic 9.69 run at the weekend, Ben Hinge for his 2nd place in the riddle and finally to Jez because I can.

As far as weekends go, this one was pretty standard. Work Friday night, Footie saturday, work again sunday, yada yada yada.

Although, I did feel sorry for this one woman at Halfords on Friday night. She needed a power steering belt for her car. Sadly, we didn't have the one she needed and had to take a tow all the way back to Yeovil....not my idea of a good friday night.

Having won our last game comfortably 3-1, the ressies were looking to build some momentum. However, it wasn't to be and we were on the receiving end of a 4-0 drubbing. Add that to the 4-1 loss the first team suffered and it won't take a genius to work out it wasn't the best weekend for Cobham FC.

Work on Sunday was nothing out of the ordinary, although I received my first compliment from LJ cos she said she loves my staff announcements. In all fairness, I quite like them too. Unlike my stint as a posh waiter, I'm actually beginning to really like my job at Halfords. I love my orange and black polo and I love how the customers aren't all posh and snooty...unlike the people at the posh restaurant.

I've got some more ranting I feel I need to do so Rooster's Roundup is back again. Today's topic: Derren Brown.

We all know who Derren Brown is right? The guy who tried to predict the lottery. Well kudos to you Derren, you showed us your guesses AFTER the lottery numbers were revealed. I'm sorry but there's nothing psychic about that mate. I could predict the lottery numbers after the lottery just happened. Then to top it all off he put on some bullcrap show explaining how he got 24 people to sit there with pen in and magically produce numbers. He calls it deep maths. I call it deep crap, no way would it be possible to predict the lottery by getting some randomers to conjure up numbers.

His piece de resistance was his attempt to get me stuck to my seat. Not only did he fail, he also added in a load of crap that made him seem clever. He claimed to have made people do stuff by dropping subliminal messages around the place to influence their decision. That too is a load of bull Derren. As you can probably tell, I'm very cynical about the whole thing. But really, this is all something I need to see with my own eyes to believe.

The last riddle was solved first by my sister, she correctly answered: your Breath. Although Jez had a good guess with an erection.

Rooster's riddle for today is: I have feathers to help me fly, I have a head and body but I'm not alive, you determine how far I go, you can hold me but I'm never thrown.

Solve it peeps.

And finally I add a wonderful little section called Rooster's Realisations, where i leave you with this gem:

'Do not be afraid to take big steps. A great chasm can't be spanned in two small steps'

Love you all
Rooster
x

TGFI

2009-09-18T20:42:00.002+01:00

Hello readers and welcome back again to Rooster's Marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Jez because I feel bad about his little accident. No worries, the zaffy will come back better, faster stronger.

Well today was a welcome sight for more or less the entire world as it is Friday! Perhaps the greatest day of the week as it signals the start of the weekend. Today's lessons were pretty average, PE, Maths, Tut. In PE we had a debate about whether black atheletes were naturally faster than their white counterparts. We were split into groups both for and against the argument and luckily, I was on the for side. Our 1st argument was: A white man has never run under 10 seconds in the 100m. I quote lawrie: 'He's killed us there' I agree lawrie, i agree.

Maths was ok, nothing majorly exciting. Although, I continue my rebellious streak by refusing to sketch graphs to help solve questions. 'It helps you visualise the problem' said David. 'I see the problem dave and doing a quick little doodle of some lines won't get me anywhere fast.' He disagreed with me, however when we had a class race on question 2a) I'd finished before most people had finished drawing their graphs. Chris 1-0 Dave.

Tutorial was tutorial like, we analysed some guys personal statement which was pretty poor. Why on earth would you tell Unis you do boxing to release anger? Beats me folks.

Which brings me nicely on to a returning edition of....Rooster's Roundup! Where today's topic is: Eduardo/Adebayor.

There's been a lot of controversy surrounding these 2 players lately and both have been stitched up good and proper by the UEFA/FA and it's all very ridiculous. Let's start with Eduardo. Yes, Eduardo dived and yes he won a penalty but just because the referee bought it, why does he get a 2 game ban? Diving is a yellow card offence so why should he receive a ban for it? People said it's because he deceived the referee. So if you do dive and get caught, you don't get done for trying to deceive the referee? Stupid.

However, the thing really grinding my gears at the moment is Adebayor. The poor lad took months of abuse from the Arsenal fans and just because he celebrated infront of them, he's getting banned aswell? The stupid thing about it is, the FA say they cannot change the decision of the referee if it was dealt with during the game. Adebayor was booked for celebrating his goal, meaning he was dealt with by the referee, so why is he getting a 3 game ban for a yellow card offence? That's saying that celebrating infront of away fans is a bad a crime as trying to stamp on somebody's head and that is just ludicrous. David said it's because a steward was injured in the process. So because the Arsenal fans injured a steward, Adebayor is being punished? Why aren't the Arsenal fans who actually started the riot being done?
What has the world come to?

After a glorious rant, we roll on to Rooster's Riddle. Yesterday's riddle was solved by David and the answer: Bertha is a hurricane.

Today's riddle: It is lighter than a feather yet no man can hold it for long, what is it?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Test Test, Check Check

2009-09-17T18:04:00.003+01:00

After a little midweek break yesterday, let me welcome you all back to Rooster's Marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Thurgus and his new mate george, niice times.

Yesterday was again a wonderful day in Rooster land. Maths was, however, filled with heartbreak as I discovered that Mark was unfortunately moved to a different maths class which wasn't good news. PE was very dossy as we had no teacher but I made lots of notes on the marvels of ATP and the body's energy systems...riveting stuff. Wednesday evening saw Rooster make an appearance for Cobham Reserves. Thankfully, we played very well and we won 3-1.

This morning I started my CLSA course and I'm happy to say I've been put with a good bunch of lads and ladies. We played many games with an scouts/guides style parachute such as sharks and lifeguards and cat and mouse. I was the cat and tbf I was a pretty good cat, the mouse was moving about quietly then POW, he was hit by a large slice of Rooster.

Afterwards I saw Thurgs and hung out with him and his new mates from tutor, needless to say, they were lovely people. Later on, I met up with Thurgs and Wellman in Maccy D's :)

Lunch happened and so did one of the funniest happenings in lunch. Toby suggested we comment on the girls walking past, i.e. would they get one? Dave said 'she's got a nice arse' a little too loudly and this girl turned around and gave us all the dirtiest look ever. It was priceless.

Physics came around and we had a test. Luckily, Alan said we could use our revision notes in the test which made life so so so much easier. There were no crazy experiments today, although we did get a cheeky look in a microscope.

Substandard blog today but nothing much really happened.

Annnd now. Rooster's Random Fact of the day: 11,111 x 11,111= 123454321

Tuesday's riddle was solved by Dan Marshall, the answer: He says: 'you will sentence me to 6 years in jail' In doing so the man creates a paradox where any situation contradicts the guidelines laid down by the judge. Although the judge could've given him 5 years for being a smartass, he decided to let him go.

Rooster's riddle of the day: After a murderous spree, Bertha had killed 14 people and injured 20 more, yet Bertha was never sentenced, why?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Wet Wet Wet!

2009-09-15T19:56:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and welcome to yet another edition of the internet's favourite blog. Today's dedication goes to Adam Thurgood because he hasn't had one in a looong time.

Well Tuesdays are definitely going to be come a firm favourite in Rooster land as I now have the pleasure of 3 free periods on Tuesdays. It means I can catch up on any homework I have set and do nothing...a lot. Even after all of this, I'll have time to embark on the latest fitness regime. Why? Because I can folks!

During today's wonderful Tuesday, I caught up on all remaining Physics and Maths homework and managed to do it all before the Arctic Monkey's original album played itself through, which is no mean feat. I also managed to squeeze in a few cheeky games of COD and Saturday's episode of the Cube, which was a particularly nerve wracking one.

For those of you who don't know, the cube is a game show on ITV, screened after the X-Factor. Unline other game shows, this one is really good as it pits the contestant against a series of seemingly easy task, i.e bouncing a ball into a bucket. All of it takes place within a giant perspex cube. I can only strongly advise you watch it because it is compelling viewing, one of the game shows you can really get into.

Well college eventually rolled around and it there was a gentle smattering of rain, nothing I hadn't challenged before. Physics came and went, with no breakages of any thermometers today though. The weather on the way home, however, was a lot worse. It was without doubt the WORST rain I'd ever ridden in. I couldn't see out of my visor because there was rain on the inside. I couldn't see when I opened my visor because it was raining in my eyes. I managed to get home safely although I looked like a drowned rat. I was absolutely soaked. My jacket weighed nearly double which was not enjoyable.

After the day's summary, we go to Rooster's Random Fact, which today is sponsored (and delivered) to you by Pat Buckingham! Fact of the day: In Oklahoma City, you can be fined or even imprisoned for making an ugly face at a dog.
Rooster's advice for the day: Pete Ruggles should NEVER visit Oklahoma City.

And finally, Rooster's Riddle. Yesterday's riddle had one correct guesser and his name was Jez. Well done Jez. The answer was 1. You are going to St. Ives.

There have been calls from the readers for more difficult, more challenging riddles so I am more than happy to oblige!

Sink your teeth into Rooster's Riddle of the day:
A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?

Love you all
Rooster
x

50 not out.

2009-09-14T19:11:00.002+01:00

It's milestone time people! Today is the 50th edition of Rooster's marvellous blog! Today's dedications go to: Daniel Whitby, Mark Hayward and once again Jack Scott. Why you ask? because I can!

Today saw the return of normality with the normal college timetable back in force. The day started with Physics in JG block and the lesson got off to a wonderful start with teacher Alan lying to us in the 1st 10 minutes. Later on in the lesson, I snapped a thermometer in half with brute force, albeit unintentionally!

Then came a wonderful free period that I spent cotching with Sarah G, R-stain, Boylett and friends. I introduced them to the wonders of the BP challenge and tell him/her. Maths in the afternoon was superb. After a long, long wait I was finally put in the same class as the main man, Mark Hayward. Throw rapey...i mean friendly Mike into the equation and a decent lesson will be had.

PE was very unusual as I was split up from the regular gang. Sadly, the new gang seem far less exciting than the likes of Daiki, Jack, Rachel and Scott. However, with a bit of time and jokes on my part, I'm adamant they will be by the end of the year.

Nuff said, we move on to Rooster's Random fact of the day, which today is: Contrary to popular belief, ducks quacks DO echo.

And finally, Rooster's riddle. Yesterday's riddle saw a hat-trick of wins for my sister, who correctly answered: the frog doesn't swim...he's dead.

Rooster's riddle today: While on my way to St. Ives, I saw a man with 7 wives. Each wife had 7 sacks. Each sack had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 kittens. Kitten, cats, sacks, wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Weekend!

2009-09-13T20:38:00.004+01:00

Hey Hey Hey and let me extend and warm welcome to the wonderful world of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. After a night off last night, we return for this sunday edition! Today's dedication goes to Paige Hopkins because she bought a pair of shoes? Very short of dedicants today...

Moving on to the happenings, yesterday saw the mighty Hammers in action. After 3 losses on the bounce we were back to our best with a 3-1 win, with 2 goals from surprise forward Mark Thomas and an absolute worldy from our token Romanian, Alin. Whitby got his 1st booking for running out of the box with the ball, he then threw his hat on the floor in disgust at the decision 'it was never a handball' he screamed. Lies Daniel, lies.

Today was a very average day in Rooster land, my shift at Halfords went very well and I managed to complete 4, 3b's fittings, which is a PB! I also gave my 1st refund AND took an order from the internet, I truly am moving up in the world. The evening saw the classic Sunday gathering with Dan and Soph joining the rest of the Roost for some tasty BBQ.

A very short post today but a relief for the readers who don't like reading.

Which leads me nicely on to Rooster's Random Fact, which today is: 18 acres of pizza is consumed in the USA every day...that's a whole lot of tasty italian goodness.

Yesterday's riddle was solved yet again by my sister. The answer being: in the dictionary.

Rooster's riddle for the day is: 'There is a frog, dead in the middle of an island. If he swims north, the distance to the mainland is 2 meters. If he swims south, the distance to the mainland is 3 meters. If he swims east or west, the distance is 4 meters. Which way does he swim?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Shortsing hell!

2009-09-11T21:18:00.002+01:00

Hello readers and welcome to a very special edition of Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's exclusive dedication goes to a very special man. He rolls from the east coast, he has butter on his toast. His hair is styled by gods and ALWAYS wears shorts. It is MR Jack Scott ladies and gentleman.

Today was marked the end of an era as myself ans shorts parted ways due to timetable related issues.

PE and Physics weren't anything special but as ever, PE was full of banter. After lunch, Dave, Benji, Liffy, Toby, Willard and myself played a wonderful game of tell him/her with the 1st years. Some crackers like 'thunder thighs' and 'rolf harris' were pulled out. Needless to say, laughs were plentiful.

Which moved nicely on to the main issue of the day, Maths. The maths crew were unfortunately to be split up, with Arron and Shorts moving into seperate classes. Which lead to much sadness but a belief that we would eventually meet again.

And true to our beliefs, me and shorts did meet again, in the college car park. Me and Jack had a chat about his yellow Saxo. It turns out there's another yellow saxo in the car park. The way Saxo's are made, they have 2 american tags on the side. East or West coast. Jack's car is an east coast car. The other, a west coast. Fortunately, common sense prevailed and we didn't batter the west coast car :D Work at Halfords was pretty standard, no major trouble or controversy.

Which leads us nicely on to Rooster's Random Fact. Today's fact: Walt Disney was reported to be scared of mice.

Annnnd finally, Rooster's Riddle. Yesterday's riddle was solved first by my sister. An honourable 2nd place mention goes to Arron Evans. Welsh jive turkey. The answer being: Peru. It's there i promise you.

Rooster's riddle for today is: Here on earth it is true, yesterday is always before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where?

Love you all (spesho shorts)
Rooster
x

College times

2009-09-10T16:57:00.002+01:00

Hello once again people and thank you all for tuning in once again. Today's dedication goes to perhaps my 2 most avid readers, Jez and Jack Shorts. It also goes to Dave and the chuck wagon.

After being injured last night playing football, my motorcycle remained at the football club, meaning I had no way of getting to college today. However, cometh the hour, cometh the Chuck Wagon! Despite having the morning off, Dave heroically offered me a lift to and from college, which was very very much appreciated.

The day started off with PE, which, as ever, was quite relaxing. There was a very large CBA vibe dancing about the room, so very little work got done. Going back to PE meant we were all welcomed to the return of Jack, who was at is his dangerous, funny best.

Afterwards I had physics in the new building and it was very....new? The windows open by themselves, depending on room temperature and CO2 levels...how fancy. There are lots of motivational speeches dotted about which look very cheesey because they are far far far too long. IMHO they should be shorter and sharper. Something like 'believe, achieve' but i'm merely speculating guys! Then JG talked for ages about JG related issues.

Maths was very good because I was at long last re-united with shorts and Arron! Jack and myself talked about the idea of me riding a horse in to college, amongst other things. Dave then took me home and I sit here now and tell you about my day.

Which leads us on to Rooster's Random Fact. Today's random fact: 72 injuries a year are caused by safety pins.

Yesterday's riddle was solved first by shorts! The answer being the butler, because the mail doesn't come on sundays, meaning he couldn't've picked up the mail.

Rooster's riddle of the day is an observational one.

Spot the country hidden in this paragraph: The local habitat around a railway track can be very interesting. For example, supporting the track is a sleeper, under which you can find the lesser spotted great weevil.

Love you all
Rooster
x

We Are Back!!

2009-09-09T15:29:00.002+01:00

Hello Hello Hello and welcome to a BRAND NEW series of Rooster's Marvellous blog! A whole host of happenings have happened since the end of the last series, mainly in the last week or so! The new series also sees a few change ups in the line up, which you'll all see later! Today's dedication goes to Columbo himself, Daniel Whitby!

Summer for me was a very uneventful one. I worked for basically all of it, 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Needless to say I'm now rolling in cash :) More news on the job front as I have a part time job at Halfords! Catch me on Friday's and Sunday's and I'll be donning the famous black and orange polo!

As many series do, I'm going back to my roots today. The blog started to keep you all updated on my progress within the RAF. I can today bring you news that yesterday, I received a recommendation to be put through to OASC- selection to the rest of you, which can only be a good thing.

The interview itself was held in Brighton and I can confirm it IS like the stereotype because I was chatted up in Costa Coffee. I was mortified. Needless to say, my ass cheeks were firmly clenched for the rest of the day.

Later that evening I went to a party at a nightclub. Unfortunately, it was a non-alcoholic party which meant that A) I knew I was crap at dancing and cared about the fact and B) people saw how crap I am at dancing and laughed at me. ...I say people, Paige was probably the only one laughing, the rest seemed embarrassed for me. Although it wasn't all bad because I saw Jonny for the 1st time in aages and i had a good time regardless.

In other news, today me and Whitby seemingly solved the mystery that has been plaguing us for the past couple of days. After some excellent snooping and some class deciphering, we feel we have the case cracked. More details to follow.

And now I bring you the news that Rooster's Roundup has been retired, although will still be making guest appearances.

Which leads us to our new feature: Rooster's Random Facts!

The 1st Rooster's Random Fact is: You burn more calories eating celery than you get from the celery itself....shocking stuff!

And finally, Rooster's Riddle: A rich and famous man died on Sunday. A detective came to the house. He first asked the maid what she had been doing on the given Sunday. She replied, "I was cooking and cleaning all day." The detective then asked the butler what he had been doing. He said, "I went to go pick up the mail, and then I was tending to sir's needs." The detective then asked the limo driver what he had been doing. He said, "I was out on a date with my girlfriend. I had the day off." One of these people is lying, the question is....who and why?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Season Predictions.

2009-08-17T19:14:00.002+01:00

With the new series of Rooster's Marvellous blog just around the corner, a filler for the avid fans who have no doubt been missing one of the best blogs on the net. Now follows Rooster's predicitions for the up and coming Cobham season.

1. Cobham will get to the 2nd round of the FA Cup, play Leeds United and get knocked out to an 89th minute winner. (we can dream)

2. Chris Rousell will make 12 appearances out on pitch, scoring 1 goal....a 3 yard tap in.

3. Pete Knight will threaten to leave (again), but stick through and see the youth team to 2nd in the league.

4. Scott Day will be arrested for 241 counts of indecent exposure.

5. Whitby will lose his virginity before Cobham lose their first game.

6. Whitby will lose his virginity to Emily and Kelly (at the same time) after a drunken Christmas party, Hegs will film it.

7. Dan Rousell will average 2.5 headless chicken runs per game.

8. Scott Day will attempt to pass the ball once.

9. It will go out for a throw.

10. Carl Burne will be arrested for paedophilia. He will be found not guilty.

11. Frank will bring out a series of Yoga DVD's featuring himself, Ken and Russ.

12. Callum and Tash bring the wedding forward and get married at the last game of the season.

13. Hicksy will make roughly 6 returns from injury.

14. Mark Thomas will be banned for life due to his inability to pay the £3,000 he will owe in sending off fines.

15. A restraining order will be placed on the entire Cobham Chix team, banning them from being within 100 yards of Rob Anderson.... Chris Palmer and Tracey Rideout included.

16. Gerald will be substituted at half time in every other game.

17. Leechy will get drunk the night before a game, play the game and score 4 goals. 3 of them OG's.

18. Ben Knight will get married to his Welsh sweetheart.

19. Ben's welsh sweetheart will leave him and come and sit on our faces.

20. Cobham will get promoted.

See you all in 3 or so weeks for the new series ;)

Love Rooster
x

The blog strikes back!

2009-07-17T12:06:00.002+01:00

After an unprecedented week without a blog, I am pleased to announce that Rooster's Marvellous blog is back! Today's dedications go to David for passing his driving test and to all the Hinge family in Espanol as we speak.

We've seen a wonderfully busy week here at Rooster HQ. Football Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Pete told me not to go to training Thursday, hence the no show.

Monday and Saturday's games were very similar for me. Little in the way of a high class defence, many goals conceded, even though I didn't play badly. Saturday night was Callum and Tash's do and it started pretty slowly, but come 7:00 it was time for me to leave for Dani Guy's birthday party. I had a splendid time and stayed the night :)

Training Tuesday was a real eye opener for me. I was once again knackered after Callum's fitness session and again had a big headache. Points to work on: More fitness. Not cool on the headache side of things because I don't mind being beasted but I do mind getting a bad headache. The game on Wednesday was much better. I made several good saves and found an inspirational leader in Sam Swiss Cheese.

Yesterday was a wonderful day as I awoke to the news that David had passed his driving test. He picked me up at 11ish and we drove to town and chillaxed there for a while. We (Dave, Loren and myself) picked up Elliot and we went swimming in a wonderfully heated pool. Me and Elliot ended up staying the night at Dave's and we chatted about many wonderful, manly things, from ladies to Bear Grylls.

The last riddle was solved by George (again) the answer being: The package should be 4ft long and 4ft wide, meaning the 4ft 1 fishing rod will fit in the diagonal.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "A detective found a dead man sitting at his desk with a gun in his hand, and a tape recorder was on his desk. The detective came in, picked up the tape recorder and pressed the play button. The tape played: "i am sick of my life. i have no purpose to live" and then a gunshot. The detective instantly knew it was murder, not suicide. how? "

Love you all
Rooster
x

The return of the blog!

2009-07-10T18:41:00.002+01:00

Hello guys, long time no speak! May I warmly invite you back to Rooster's marvellous blog! Today's dedications go to: The Maths trio, the physics 4 and to Chris Palmer!

Since the last blog on tuesday, a lot has happened in the life of Rooster!

Wednesday saw my last day at College for the year, which meant the breaking up of the Physics 4 and Maths trio. Physics was full of questions, do the questions, leave early. After a furious hour of work, I left 35 minutes early :) Maths rolled on and the break up of the Maths trio occurred. Something funny happened in Maths but I can't quite remember what it was...

Yesterday rolled around at that signalled my trip to Brighton for the long awaited RAF careers presentation. Needless to say, it was a worthwhile experience and I think that maybe, just maybe I've got a rough idea of what was going to happen. Notes taken: Screaming whilst running in the RAF seems compulsory.

Training rolled around and I got my first taste of military fitness. After a training session filled with outfield failings, several decent saves in goal and a 4 lap run of the pitch we ended on a fitness session with Callum. The last section to the course you had to carry your partner to the end. I paired up with Vince who seemed quite easy to carry. Unfortunately, Vince's hammy went which meant I was left being paired with TeeTee. Now for those of you who don't know, TT is a 15 stone of pure muscle. Despite his epic size, Callum insisted I carried him. I, and everybody else at training, was shocked when I actually managed to pick him up and haul him 30 or so metres. Callum conveniently remembered I planned on joining the RAF and screamed at me some more. After the work out, I may or may not have regurgitated the evening's lasagne... I felt and looked like death warmed up. Friday saw nothing of any relevance happen.

Due to budget cutbacks, Rooster's roundup will now be appearing less frequently.

The last riddle was solved by George Peterkin. The answer: You can't dig half of a hole.

Rooster's riddle for today: "James ordered a fishing rod, priced at £3.56. Unfortunately, James is an Eskimo who lives in a very remote part of Greenland and the import rules there forbid any package longer than 4 feet to be imported. The fishing rod was 4 feet and 1 inch, just a little too long, so how can the fishing rod be mailed to James without breaking the rules? Ideally James would like the fishing rod to arrive in one piece!"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Return of the King.

2009-07-07T19:40:00.004+01:00

Helllooooo everybody, it's that time of the day again, Rooster's Marvellous blog! Today's dedications go to Marshall and Nicola cos they make a lovely couple :P. It also goes to Aaron for his amazing return to Physics!

Today was pretty decent as far as wet and rainy days go. The morning saw a wonderful trip to the shiny new Army Careers office in Woking. I spoke to the guy about some insight course in November and that seemed like good fun. Then when I said I was applying to the RAF he told me not to swear in his presence....ooops!

I bowled into college at about 12:45 and had a chat with the lads. Then I went to Physics and read some magazines. About 10 minutes in to the lesson, an incredible thing happened. Aaron returned! The forgotten soldier, the prodical son who hasn't been seen for 2 weeks returned! Needless to say, Kieran, Alex and myself were elated.

PE came by and it was going to be special, our last lesson together as a class. We had a quiz and some awards lined up. The Black Cougars (me and mcives) won the quiz :) After the quiz, the awards were dished out.

Class Clown: Jack Herridge
Potty Mouth: Rachel Needham
Best Quote: Scott Eaton and Sam Hull for their Water Polo teams: 'The Raging Lions' and 'The Mad Squirrels' respectively.
Best Co-Ordinated Fashion: Jamie Kerr, Tom Stapleford
Most Annoying: Kendall Ashby
Best Sports performance: Scott Eaton- Ultimate Frisbee
Sports Personalities: Callum Watson and Chris Rousell

We then did some practical, playing some dodgeball and benchball. Scott was one team captain and picked myself and Callum. With both Sports personalities and best sports performer on the side, our team looked unbeatable. It was, Callum, Scott and myself dominated the dodgeball. After proving his defensive prowess in Frisbee, he showed it in benchball, defending the bench like a man possessed. I do hope the class will be re-united but I fear this won't happen. I got home and after Tennis was cancelled, I went for a run.

Rooster's roundup topic is: Did You Ever Wonders.

Did you ever wonder how we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Did you ever wonder why people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Did you ever wonder why 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?

Did you ever wonder why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets?

cba with more.

Yesterday's riddle was solved by Kieran Martinez. The answer being: 1m. The tree grows at the top, not the bottom, hence the nail won't move.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "If it takes 6 men to dig one hole, how many men does it take to dig half a hole?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Weekend Happenings

2009-07-06T18:31:00.002+01:00

After taking a weekend break, let me welcome you all back to Rooster's marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to: Federer and Roddick for their epic match on Sunday.

After a long, intense wait, the tennis match of the century occurred on Saturday. Dan Whitby taking on Chris Rousell. It had all the ingredients for an classic, big egos, big forehands and big heads. Rousell came out of the blocks like a man on fire, bowling Whitby over in the first set 6-1. However, the between set break and a change of balls saw Rousell struggle to regain the power he saw in the 1st, losing 6-3. Whitby was now in full stride and took a 6-2 win in the 3rd set. Rousell was now in last chance saloon and needed to win this set. He race to a comfortable 4-2 lead and had a break point to go 5-2 up. Rousell squandered the chance and began to throw away his hard earned lead, with Whitby taking the next 3 games, going 5-4 up. Rousell needed to break to stay in the match and he did so; ultimately forcing a tie break. Whitby won the tie break and with it the match. 1-6, 6-3, 6-2. 7-6.

During the match I got the most epic sun burn and I kid you not, it was these worst I have ever had. My arms were so red it was unbelievable. After going home for a shower, I went round to Whitby's and trounced him at Fifa. Jacko, Kelly and Palmtree came over and Whitby and myself cooked them a wonderful meal: Marinaded chicken with a creamy mushroom sauce + tagliatelle.

On Sunday the fam and myself went to the Army show in North Camp. I had a pootle about and some words with the guys from the Air Corps who all urged me to sign up ASAP. Being the impressionable lad that I am, I'm going to the new Army careers office in Woking on Tuesday. The show itself was very good, the White helmet motorbike men were crazy. All in all, a day well spent. Today was very uneventful.

Cba with Rooster's round up :\

The last riddle was solved by my sister. The strange thing about the passage was: there is no letter E within it. The paragraph was taken from a book called 'Gatsby'. It is 50,000 words long and there is not one letter E within it. Incredible.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "I hammer a nail to a tree trunk, 1 metre above the ground. If the tree grows 5 cm every year, how high will the nail be off the ground in 20 years?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Moving on day

2009-07-03T18:56:00.003+01:00

Hellooo folks and welcome back once again to Rooster's marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Daffyd for our bizarre loo trip and Whitby cos i luff him :P

Yesterday was a frustrating day in my quest to fix my motorbike. I waited at college from 9 till 5.30 only to discover that it was not ready at all as the sprocket hadn't been sen, which meant i missed training. What an epic waste of a day.

However, today was far more worthwile. Although I was not happy that I had to go in for the full day (usually I just have the one lesson) but it turned out to be quite handy. It was Moving on Day and we had a load of lectures from whoever you wanted to really. I chose lectures from the RAF, Army and Navy. Unfortunately I had a lecture from a woman at Farnborough Tech and her inability to spell and speak properly confirmed to me why the sixth is so so much better than FCOT.

I found the RAF talk very useful and I discovered that I probably will be at college for the entire 2nd year. The gap between the initial interview and OASC is 3-4 months. So I will definitely be here for the 1st half of the season. 'Mon the Hammers!

The Navy talk was less interesting and it confirmed to me that is least appealing of the forces. For starters, basic officer training is only 9 weeks long. Compared to 32 in the RAF and 44 in the Army it seems a little substandard. Starting pay for a Navy Officer is £22,000. Starting pay for an Officer in the RAF is £33,500. The Royal Marines man did show us a video of him blowing up stuff in Afghanistan which was actually pretty cool.

Now out of all the presentations, the one that sold it to me the most was the Army guy. He was funny, interesting and he seemed to love what he did. He talked for ages about Sandhurst and how much fun it was. He also showed us a video of army people dancing in various places. One was even dancing in his Platoon leader's office, not recommended to say the least. The Army talk definitely influenced me and along with the RAF, I am now applying to the Army, which will make Callum happy. Keep your options open and all that lark.

In one of the breaks, Dave and myself took a trip to the lavvy and it was no ordinary one. Firstly I broke the urinal code and went into the middle of 3 urinals. I boldly stopped the flow and shifted one urinal to right with zero spillage. Epic stuff. Then, after Dave had just filled up his drink, I was just about to fill mine up; when some person comes bursting out of nowhere, pushes me out of the way and starts filling their drink up. I was in shock. Never had I seen such blatant disregard for manners. Dave and I stood their flabberghasted, before Dave finally said "do you mind?" "I've just been sick and i want a drink." Came the reply from the lad. Well I say lad, they looked like a boy but they went sprinting back into the girls' toilets after the ordeal, confused much? I was not pushed out of the way a 2nd time.

After a long blog, I will give Rooster's round up a miss.

Joe Grilli won the last riddle, the answer being: Ted is wrong because there is no 31st November, there are only 30 days in November.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "The paragraph below is most unusual. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary you'd think nothing was wrong with it - and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Why?

"Gatsby was walking back from a visit down in Branton Hill's manufacturing district on a Saturday night. A busy day's traffic had had its noisy run; and with not many folks in sight, His Honour got along without having to stop to grasp a hand, or talk; for a mayor out of City Hall is a shining mark for any politician. And so, coming to Broadway, a booming bass drum and sounds of singing, told of a small Salvation Army unit carrying on amidst Broadway's night shopping crowds. Gatsby , walking towards that group, saw a young girl, back toward him, just finishing a long, soulful oration ..."

What is so unusual about this sentence?

Love you all
Rooster
x

15 minute rule.

2009-07-01T18:21:00.002+01:00

Hello folks and Rooster's marvellous blog is back with a bang. Today's dedications go to Whitby (cos I luff him) and to Palmtree, cheeky ;)

Monday night I went to watch Jimmy Carr in Woking and I have to admit, he was very funny, even telling a joke with only 3 words- stationary shop moves.
Yesterday was another bog-standard day in Rooster's life. It was a normal day in Physics although Aaron was a no show, which disappointed Kezza, Alex and myself. We made posters about energy systems in PE and mine and Kyle's was obviously the best.

Training rolled by and the figure of 8 run was definitely the hardest yet. The heat was out of control and afterwards, I was absolutely boiling. I kid you not, upon finishing I stood topless, drenching myself in water all to no avail. I finally cooled down and had a stint up top. I pinged a worldie past whitby, although my crossing was not up to scratch. Had a wonderful chat with Palmtree, Kelly, Thurgs and Whitby about the BBQ sauce incident. Cheeky ;)

Today was nothing special as far as things go. Tutorial was over rather quickly, which gave me some time to have a chat with Monsieur Hayward, good stuff. Jez joined me and Zac in our free today and we had a paper airplane contest... as you do? Not bragging by I won haha.

Physics was pretty funny today, Alex fell over and was hit in the gonads by Kieran, not Alex's best lesson...

Maths saw the introduction of the '15 minute rule.' Mark, our teacher, told us he wouldn't be in and he booked a sub. We waited 15 minutes for said sub to arrive but alas, the sub was a no show. So after 15 minutes of waiting, we left. I got home in time to watch Muzza power his way to victory against JC Ferrero Rocher.

After that mundane account of the past 2 days, we drop in for Rooster's round up. Today's topic: Sports' Anti-Doping scheme.

Drugs in sport is a big problem and drugs testing is the only way that it's going to be kicked out. But the measures currently being employed by the Anti-Doping Agencies are absurd. Athletes have to give there whereabouts for 1 hour a day, 7 days a week. That is the understandable bit, I have nothing against that. However, I am not happy that the athletes have to supply such information up to 3 MONTHS in advance. 3 months! How on earth is somebody going to know that sort of info? Do you know where you will be between 2-3pm on the 2nd October? I know I don't.

I understand that drug cheats need to be caught but is this the right way to go about it? Surely it would make everybodies lives easier if the information was supplied on a weekly basis? I could tell you where I will be and when for all of next week without any need for planning. But that is the very limit. Anything else would be guess work. Drugs have to go but anti-doping needs a bit of work.

The last riddle was solved by Nigel Rousell, 2nd Peterkin. The answer being: No. The last question was can you answer the riddle? The answer was no, it's impossible!

Rooster's riddle for today is: "The history teacher was fed up of being interrupted by Ted snoring through is lecture. The teacher savoured these moments and asked Ted what key event occurred on November 31st 1943 that sparked the change in momentum of WW2. Ted woke up in time to catch the end of the question and he answered "Russia beating the German's at Stalingrad." Was Ted right? Explain.

Love you all
Rooster
x

Lifts 'R' Us

2009-06-29T16:32:00.002+01:00

Hello again! Rooster's Marvellous blog returns in spectacular fashion. Today's dedications go to the lift masters: Mark Hayward (who gave me a lift to college) and to Kieran Martinez (who gave me a lift back to North Camp) I love you both x

Monday mornings are always the worst mornings. Everyone is tired and forgetful and I was no exception, forgetting to take hang the washing out. My bad! My bike was due to be fixed and I gently rode it to North Camp. I made it to North Camp after some idiot nearly ran me over in Brookwood. It was a red light and he went through them. Don't be mistaken, he didn't jump the lights. He stopped at them, waited for 20 seconds then just went. I pulled across him and he nearly wiped me out. The sod then had the cheek to honk and swear at me!

I dropped the bike off no problem but the problems came later. On top of a new chain, brake pads and back tyre, it also needs new caliper plugs and a new sprocket, so the bike won't be fixed till Thursday. The legend that is Hayward picked me up from the bike shop and took me to college, thanks a lot mushty. When we parked at the car park, Marita nearly took Mark's door off. Not cool Marita, not cool!

PE started its end of year wind down with an hour long practical lesson. I was happy because I won the 1K race, pipping Scott and Jamie to the win. We also submitted our nominations for the various class awards and I cannot help but feel Jack is a shoe-in for the class clown.

Physics was pretty bog standard, we were introduced to next year's coursework which is a topic of my choice :) Now I was dreading walking all the way back to the bike shop. But luckily, Martinez was going for lunch there and kindly offered to drop me off. Physics finished and we cruised to North Camp, much appreciated :) Kieran also overreacted about his car and I can confirm it is actually pretty decent.

Which brings us nicely on to Rooster's Round up. Today is another top 5. Rooster's top 5 comedians.

1. Lee Evans. The man is a comic genius.

2. Jimmy Carr/Michael Mcintyre. Nothing to choose between these 2. Both different but funny in their own way.

3. Chris Rock. Making racism funny since 1992.

4. Sean Lock. A very clever comedian.

5. Russell Howard. Up, coming, from Bristol.

Yesterday's riddle was solved by Lara Crowe! The answer being zero. If 3 packages are correctly labelled then the 4th will be too, hence the chances of exactly 3 being correct is zero.

Rooster's riddle for today is: I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. I turn pancakes brown and make your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me, I'll pop. If you look at me, you'll pop. Can you work out the riddle?

I fully expect George to win this one, seeing as he told me a variation.

Going to se Jimmy Carr soon wooo :D

Love you all
Rooster
x

George was a horse.

2009-06-28T20:09:00.004+01:00

Hello people and let me welcome you once again to Rooster's Marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Hayward who will give me a lift tomorrow, D-Unit for our tennis match and finally the year 11's who I hope had a splendid time at prom.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. I woke up to a glorious sunshine and had some Weetos meteors for breakfast- a good start to the day. The morning petered out in a usual, non-boring fashion. I watched a very emotional episode of Scrubs over lunch (ironically the episode was titled "My Lunch") as with most scrubs episodes, I loved it :)

At around 3ish I went round D-Unit's and we played some tennis....hardcore tennis. Best of 5 sets and it was shaping up to be a clash of the titans. Marshall's squash experience seemed a potential deciding factor but it was evenly matched by Rooster's long reach. Unfortunately, it was one of the worst displays of tennis ever. The large majority of points won were due to unforced errors, but we had good fun nonetheless. Breaks in serve were common due to the very poor standard on show but it was still a tense encounter. As the game filtered past the 1hr 30min mark, the heat began to play a factor. One crucial game in the 3rd set saw many break and game points and deuce was reached at least 12 times. Although I lost the game, I did not lose the match and I'm pleased to announce that Rousell won in straight sets, 6-4, 6-3, 6-4.

After a few doubts as to my attendance, I was eventually invited to Lara's and it were a decent party. I stayed the night and helped clean up in the morning. I left at around 9:00am and walked all the way home. It seemed like a good idea at the time but I now have a pair of awfully painful blisters. A PS3 filled afternoon filled the time between lunch and the evening BBQ. I bought a Bugatti Veyron on NFS Undercover and was very very chuffed.

We roll on nicely to Rooster's roundup. Today's topic is Wimbledon Wildcards.

Wimbledon fortnight always produces ups and downs, expectancies and uncertainies. And everybody knows that there are only 2 certainties in life. 1. Taxes. 2. Wimbledon's wildcard failings. Every year we have to put up with 2 days of national embarrassment as we see our hopeless boys and girls in white fail miserably.

Every year it happens and every year the LTA don't learn their lesson. The players know they're not up to scratch but who is going to say no to a £10,000 cheque, the prize money for going out in the 1st round?

The worst bit is we give the wildcards to the same people who always lose. Surely there's more deserving young players out there who have earnt the right to play? Alex Bogdanovic said he's getting better every year. OK, he may be trying his best and yes he may be improving but after losing 8 straight games at Wimbledon, maybe, just maybe somebody will realise that the lad just doesn't cut the mustard.

The last riddle was won by Joe Hadden. The answer: George is a horse so therefore the jockey will win the prizes.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "I am at a Package sorting office. Infront of me are 4 parcels and 4 labels. The labels have the correct details for a corresponding package. If I attach the labels at random, what are the odds that exactly 3 packages will be correctly labelled?

Love you all
Rooster
x

General Happenings.

2009-06-26T19:20:00.003+01:00

It's that time again where we say hello to Rooster's Marvellous blog. Today's dedication goes to the one and only Michael Jackson. Yes we make jokes but we all know deep down he was a wonderful musician.

Yesterday started off like any normal day. Maths was standard, barring a discovery that Arron has a fantasy over R2-D2. Disturbing stuff. We had a half lesson in PE and our homework was a challenge: Bring Kit for next lesson. Think of end of year awards. I am stumped, but think that Jack may have the 'most bullied class member' sewn up. Cobham Training rolled on and it was pretty decent. I had a wonderful burger afterwards AND told Abby that myself and her were enemies. Upon returning from training, my facebook status was clogged with stories of MJ's untimely demise. RIP MJ. Today was nothing out of the ordinary. I pimped out my ride on NFS Undercover and had a wonderful chat with Benjamin on the way home from le station. College day saw a few of the new first years dotted about and tbf they all look petrified. hehehe.

Rooster's roundup today is another top 5. Rooster's top 5 TV shows.

1. Top Gear (is there anything at all better on the jelly box??)

2. Bones (a wonderful CSI style programme...only better.

3. Scrubs (the bizarre medical comedy.))

4. Lie To Me (Tim Roth is a human lie detector)

5. Bear Grylls/Family Guy (couldn't decide between the two. Both epic for different reasons)

The last riddle was solved by my little sister of all people! 2nd was my father. Poor effort from the rest of the world!

Rooster's riddle for today is: "George had the finish line in his sights and gave a final burst of speed. He passed the other contenders and powered home to win by several feet. Although first prize was £2,000 and a wonderful glass trophy, George received neither. Why is this?

Substandard blog today, but forgive me please :)

Love you all

Rooster

Sports Day

2009-06-24T18:31:00.003+01:00

Hello once again to Rooster's marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Ben Hinge for his wonderful taste in restaurants and to Shorts for his many failed attempts at yesterday's poor riddle.

As far as days go, this one was pretty alright. Tutorial was a large doss because we were doing our UCAS forms. I'm not going to Uni so it was all irrelevant to me.

Lunch rolled round and with lunch came the 'bizarre sports' sports day for PE. Our class had a certain victory lined up in the tug of war. However, tug of war was cancelled due to a lack of rope, effectively rendering our hench team useless. I came 3rd overall in the 100m circle (run 10 times round a 10m circle) winning the class our solitary point. We failed epically at the other events and were cruelly disqualified from the egg and spoon relay due to a rule misunderstanding. To top it all off, Rob, our teacher, disowned us. He said that we were his favourite class but that no longer seems the case. He will be in for a shock when we all refuse to talk to him on Thursday.

Attending the sports day caused me to be an hour late to physics. Now I was hoping I didn't come in at an awkward time but I did. It was dead quiet and Andy was teaching. Just as I sat down he asked the class, what does this make F= to? Everybody looked bemused. I boldy put my hand up and said F=kx. Correct. It made me look like such a dude, turn up an hour late then bang out the answer that nobody knew. That's what I call marvellous.

Maths was pretty standard, although we discovered that Shorts has a thing for trees. We reminisced good family guy episodes, my personal favourite was the one with Zinedine Zidane. 'Bon Anniversaire!'

After the lovely summary, we roll onto Rooster's roundup. Today's topic is: Serious?

Ahh seriousness, at times it's necessary, others not so much. What I witnessed today in Sports Day got me thinking, why oh why do people take things too seriously? I mean the class that won overall took the whole thing far too seriously, dressed up in athletics gear, planning strategies and even heckling under achievers.

Seriously guys, it's just a but of harmless fun, why are you getting so into it? I mean I am one of the most competitive people I know and want to win practically anything. But there are times you've got to realise that taking it too seriously makes you look like a douche. Did I get into Rounders yesterday? Yes. Did I take it mega serious? No. Knowing when to have a laugh and when to be serious is a fundamental survival feature. Nobody takes a kickabout with their mates seriously, so why on earth are you taking a mess about day seriously? Don't get me wrong, I love a bit of competition, as I said before I'm a win at all costs sort of man but when you heckle people who are there to have a good time, you've got to look at yourselves and wonder why you're being a douche. Nobody likes a douchebag so don't act like one. The funny times are where you have a team when only one person takes it seriously. Realising that the entire team doesn't care, the serious one takes it upon themselves to win it for the team. And when the team don't respond, they just get more wound up which makes the team try less. So when harmless fun presents itself, don't be to into because it makes you look like a pleb. Seriously, sort it out.

Yesterday's riddle was won by Joe Grilli. The riddle answer is actually embarrasing so I won't be publically revealing it.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "Deceptor, the famous magician, claims that when he is in the far north, he can point is car north, drive it for one mile and, without turning it around, end up one mile south from where he started. If he hasn't driven over the north pole, how has he achieved this feat?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Hat-Trick hero

2009-06-23T19:31:00.001+01:00

Hello once again to Rooster's Marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to D-Unit cos it's his birthday, Aaron Cameron, who hopefully reads this. Finally, it goes to all of the members of Rob's PE class for dicking on Graham's class in rounders.

Today was a pretty standard day as far as things go. Physics was ok, we did some experiments with pendulums, air tracks and a magical trolley connected by 6 springs. Andy and Surin had their daily spat and I even joined in on this one, telling Surin that infinity is a concept, not a number so nurrrr. For those of you who don't know, Surin is perhaps the most pedantic person on the planet and insists on arguing with Andy about something. Later in the lesson, he asked whether a bee with giant wings could live on the moon. Confusing times.

PE saw a wonderful lesson with Rob's class squaring up to Graham's class in rounders. We played 2 games and Rob's class won 2-0. I scored 3 rounders out of 3 and was maybe a little too pleased, after all it's only rounders. Tomorrow sees the inter-PE class sports event and hopefully Rob's class will come out on top. Events such as: 100m circle, piggyback/wheelbarrow relay. 800m relay and horizontal long jump all feature. However, McIvor will not feature because he is going to Wimbledon, clearly he is off the case.

A short but snappy summary over, we roll on to Rooster's round up and this time, the rant is back with a vengance! Today's topic is: Crap Adverts

Adverts are everywhere, on the telly, in the papers and even on the side of buses. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind adverts but I cannot stand the rubbish ones! And we all know which ones I'm talking about. The Cuprinol 'wood preservation' one, all the crap clearasil ones 'a spot right before the party' and the worst culprits are those plebs at pot noodles These adverts are tacky, poorly thought out and actually make avoid the product because A. I don't need them and B. the adverts are crap. The frustrating thing about it all is that adverts are made so you remember a product. By making the most god awful adverts, you remember the product!

The other annoying thing about adverts is they always and I mean always shout at you when they come on. The volume of the TV goes right up when the adverts come on and you get blasted. AND all the adverts are on at the same time, so when you change the channel in a vain attempt to avoid the adverts you're met with another woeful and mind numbing advert. However, there are some decent adverts out there. WKD definitely ranks up there.

The winner of yesterday's riddle was George Peterkin, 2nd was Jez. The answer of course: Nothing.

Rooster's riddle for today is: You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. a solid room. the only things in this room is a mirror and a table. how do you escape? (a toughie)

Love you all
Rooster
x

D of E

2009-06-22T18:16:00.002+01:00

After a wonderful little holiday, Rooster's blog returns in explosive fashion. Today's dedication goes to The Stig for his identity still remains a mystery.

This weekend saw the end of my D of E quest with my real expedition. I started the trek at 10 on saturday morning and found the going relatively easy. Until the afternoon where we climbed to the top of an 800ft hill. That was mildly challenging I must admit. 17K's later, we arrived at camp and made the most mahoosive fire ever. We commondeered some wood from a local store and had a bonfire. The only thing missing was some marshmallows.

I rolled into my tent at about 11:30pm and slept like a log. Was woken on Sunday morning by some woman banging a saucepan screaming it was time to get up. We set off at 9:10 and prepared for the 16K's we were about to do. The walk itself was rather uneventful, barring one 'path' which was actually just a 200m long stinging nettle bush. Fun times.

Upon returning home, the fam and myself went to Frankie and Benny's to celebrate father's day. I had the traditional bacon cheese burger as my burger restaurant tour continues. For those not in the know, every restaurant that serves a burger, I will have one. The various restaurants include: Harvester, Planet Hollywood (both NY and Florida) Wild Jacks, Frankie and Benny's, NASCAR cafe, TGI's and many others. My favourite so far: The Planet Hollywood burger.

Sunday night saw controversy on the telly, with The Stig allegedly revealing his identity as Michael Schumacher. However, I fail to believe that Schumi is the Stig. For one, Damon Hill famously said that the Stig does not take F1 lines. Another is that Schumi wouldn't have enough time in his hectic schedule to film top gear. And finally, The Stig cannot be German. My theory on the Stig's identity is that he is infact some sort of higher being, with numerous talented cousins on all continents of the world. The Stig should never reveal his identity.

Today was relatively uneventful, PE and Physics passed by with little event, barring my wonderful drawing on Kieran. And the 2 mexican's having a tug of war, he enjoyed them.

Unfortunately, due to budget drawbacks, Rooster's roundup will not feature today.

Marshall won the last riddle, the answer being : a beetle.

Rooster's riddle today is: "It's more powerful than God.
It's more evil than the devil.
The poor have it.
The rich need it.
If you eat it, you'll die.
What am I?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Catch Up

2009-06-19T19:53:00.002+01:00

Welcome back once again to yet another edition of Rooster's Marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Scotty C (for buying me a cheese toastie) Dan Whitby (cos i luff him) and David 'Binraider' Gregory.

Yesterday was yet another standard day at college. Bit more cricket in PE, bit more E^x and lnX graphs in maths, average stuff. Speaking of Maths, Shorts came up with 2 wonderful innuendos that only the maths geeks will understand: 1. You can touch my natural log. 2. I want to expand your binomial. More on maths innuendos when they occur.

Training last night was once again full of laughs, Whitby destroyed the run but died later of 'Iranreallyhardintherunandnowimfucked syndrome'. The banter in the bar afterwards was good as usual. Until Rideout said the most hideous thing to his mother. Tracy said 'I don't like cheese' Shane replied 'that's not what dad said' funny stuff. I also learnt about the pidgeon and found it amusing. I stayed up till 1 in the morning watching 21. I now have 2 urges in life: Learn how to count cards and learn to become a human lie detector.

Today was rather uninteresting, I just had the one lesson but had to stay after college to get kit for my expedition this weekend. However, we did find out one thing. David Gregory is a bin raider. He raids bins for various objects, hence the name bin raider.

I am also pleased to announce that Mr Zac's band, The Goldtones are now playing GuilFest so congrats to them.

Also also also, there IS news on the RAF front. Seeing as this whole blog started because of it, it's only fair to include it. 9th July 9:30am I have some sort of presentation at the AFCO in Brighton on Pilot training, or something along those lines. The long hard slog begins!

New section returns! Kieran Martinez has a rubbish new car. I do feel sorry for him though. Peugeot 107? Not cool. Although I would love to go cruising with him.

Which brings us nicely on to Rooster's roundup. Continuing with the top 5 theme, I give to you my top 5 songs of all time....ever.

1. Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHd09ezbU1Q

2. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing- Aerosmith http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhTybaNcFy0

3. Hero- Enrique Iglesias http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaVjchmX-eY

4. Don't Look Back In Anger- Oasis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8OipmKFDeM

5. Don't Stop Me Now- Queen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58CJih1iYC0&feature=related

Just missing out: My Love- Westlife and Hero- Mariah Carey

The Winner of the last riddle was George Peterkin, the answer being: The man is not charged because he is an executioner and his brother is being put to death.

Rooster's riddle for today is different but challenging nonetheless: "It is an insect and the first part of it's name is also an insect. What is it?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Ultra-Cycling!

2009-06-17T18:26:00.004+01:00

After a day off yesterday, Rooster's Marvellous blog returns with a bang! Today's dedications go to a special bunch of lads: Crowley, Odgie, Ando and Wils for the wonderful cruise we took last night.

Yesterday was a pretty average day, played some cricket in PE, did some boring stuff in Physics. The evening saw the return of an old favourite, pre-season training. Normally pre-season involves a lot of running and a lot of fitness stuff and yesterday didn't fail to disappoint. In all fairness, I absolutely destroyed the run and impressed the new first team coach with my moves. I kid you not, Gomes said to me 'lovely skills'. If only, IF ONLY Frank knew. To top it all off, I scored a beautiful goal in the game bit.

We returned to the clubhouse to find a large box of CD's and the lads just started picking. Odgie left with tonnes, including a Whitney Houston double album, fair play. Ando wangled himself a dog the bounty hunter book and a few more CD's. I made do with Jimi Hendrix. The trip home was full of banter, something about a pidgeon and of course, Whitney Houston blasting out over Wils' stereo. Funny stuff.

Today was a pretty normal day, aside a few things. Unlike normal turorials, this one actually lasted an hour and a half. I arrived in some dark corner of college I'd never been to before and was asked by Paul to sell a potato to the class. I think everyone was sold on either 'it's the swiss-army knife of the vegetable world' or 'No potato, No Mr Potato Head' Some good news also arrived in Tutorial as Paul confirmed that I am allowed to drop Electronics :)

I turned into a fat student in today's free though. I had a lovely bowl of cereal and THEN went to Maccy D's and had a Big Mac Meal, Zac's chips and half of Ade's coke to top it off. In my defense, I did walk/run/cycle most of it off later in the day. Speaking of cycle, David will be pleased to here that the first issue of the 'Ultra-Cycling' came through the door. It's official, I AM an ultra cyclist after my 24hour stint in March.

This is a new edition to Rooster's blog and it's called: Will Kieran notice if I post things about him in my blog? Now for those of you who are unaware, Kieran Martinez often looks his name up on google. The one time I mentioned his name in a blog, Google found it. So by posting things about hom in this section, Kieran will become a Google superstar. Kieran Martinez is a homosexual. A nice big whack on the beehive that is Martinez.

And we roll on nicely to Rooster's round up. Another different one today, the topic being: Rooster's top 5 sporting moments.

1. Sydney 2000. Steve Redgrave wins in the men's coxless fours, winning his 5th Olympic Gold. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=757K1Ih0ug8

2. Istanbul . 2005. AC Milan 3-3 Liverpool AET Liverpool win on penalties. Liverpool pull off one of the greatest comebacks in history. 3-0 down at half time, winning on pennos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dbGNgeMLH4

3. Derek Redmond pulled his hamstring in the 400m semi-final at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. However, he continued to make his way round the circuit and was eventually helped over the line by his father. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nifq3Ke2Q30

4. Edgbaston 2005, 2nd test. England beat Australia by 2 runs in what was known as 'the greatest test ever.' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2AvCaFg51c&feature=related

5. September 2001. Germany 1-5 England. Goals from Owen (3) Gerrard and Heskey seal an infamous victory over the Germans. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-jv6KeWM50

And finally, it's Rooster's riddle time. Yesterday's riddle was solved by Nigel Rousell. The answer being: The man should take a piece of paper out of the hat and eat it. Meaning that the paper left in the hat says 'death' forcing the judge to conclude the paper must have said 'live'

Today's riddle is: 'A man kills his brother in plain sight of many people, and yet he will never be charged with murder or any other crime. Why not?'

Love you all
Rooster
x

Man Day

2009-06-15T19:11:00.002+01:00

Hello once again folks as we tune in for another edition of Rooster's marvellous blog. May I start by wishing a happy international man day to all you men out there. There are still several hours left to eat steak/watch rambo/make a fire and use a power tool! Today's dedications goes to Callum Rumble who popped the question to Tash and she said yes! It also goes to McIvor because it is his 18th birthday today! Despite it being is birthday, I can confirm that he is yet again off the case.

After a hectic weekend, this morning wasn't going to be the most pleasant and tbf, it wasn't that bad. Ok, I had to get the train because my motorbike is a bit shagged but all in all it was alright. PE started with a lovely surprise as we played frisbee. Much to my delight, my team won 7-6. The whole class learnt a lot that lesson: Hashish and Scott are gods of the disc.

Rolling on to Physics and myself and Aaron celebrated International man day by discussing manly things. We asked Kieran if he was going to watch any Rocky films, to which he replied 'Rocky films?' which leaves us to conclude that Kieran Martinez is a girl. Not much surprise there.

I left for the train at about 12:30 which gave me 15 minutes to get from the 6th to the station. Just as I crossed the bridge overlooking the station, I saw the train pull in. Rooster went into overdrive and hurtled down the hill, into the car park, through the gates, over the bridge. Just as I plonked my backside on the train seat, it set off. Close call indeed. In honour of man day, I got home, watched Bear Grylls and Ross Kemp. Epic.

We roll on nicely to Rooster's roundup, where today's topic is: Artificial Inflation

Although the topic sounds boring, it's actually quite a gooden. I am of course talking about the inflation in the football transfer market. Since Kaka and Ronaldo were purchased by Real, there has been a massive increase the amount of money being spent on players. That's right folks, despite the economic crisis, the football world now has a self-induced inflation in player's prices. Ibrahimovic has been priced at £70 million, £23 million more than Zidane was. No way no way on earth is Ibrahimovic worth £23 million MORE than Zidane. Pompey are demanding £18mill for Glen Johnson? No way on God's earth is he worth that much money.

To top it all off, the gelled tumbler is going for a fetching £80million. Is he a great player? Yes, undoubtedly. Is he worth £26 million more than Kaka? I'm not too sure. But it's Real's money and Perez is looking to get a good galatico side back together and I must admit I am impressed with him. In his first reign he had: Beckham, Raul, Ronaldo, Robinho, Owen, Zidane, Figo, Roberto Carlos at the club to name a small few. The new breed of galaticos sees: Sneijder, Robben, Van Nistelrooy, Kaka, Ronaldo, Cannavaro AND are looking to sign David Villa. Great effort Perez. I just hope that the ridiculous price tags stop because the less rich clubs i.e. Liverpool will be priced out of the transfer market.

Yesterday's riddle was solved by Somil Desai. The answer of course being: There is a grandfather, father and son. Grandfather and father are both fathers: 2 fathers. The father and son are both sons: 2 sons.

Rooster's riddle for today is a toughie, here we go: An intelligent man is set to be put to death. Because of his intelligence, the judge feels his death would be a waste to society, so he gives him an opportunity to escape execution. Upon the gallows, the man is to be offered a hat with 2 pieces of paper in it. One will say live, the other die. Whatever the man chooses will be his fate. With the noose around his neck, the judge orders that the process must take place in complete silence, if the man speaks, he dies. However, as the hat approaches him, he sees the executioner replace the 'live' paper with another that says death, effectively sealing the man's fate. How does the man get out of this tricky situation?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Happenings.

2009-06-14T20:01:00.002+01:00

After a cheeky 2 day break, Rooster's blog returns back to it's glorious best. Today's dedications go to a whole host of people: avid reader Joe Hadden, D-Unit, David, Sam and Elliot.

In all honesty, I cba with an epically long blog because I've had a bit of a weekend, party on Friday night, Dan's house saturday night.

The party on Friday night was pretty decent. A large amount of people that I knew and hadn't spoken to in a while attended and we all had a good time. Then Beth cut her foot, ambulance followed by police came. Party over.

Then we roll on to Saturday. The afternoon saw Jordy's Cougar's presentation and as with previous years, I had 2 dodgy burgers. Whitby thought they were good but he has no standards. Boylett won some sort of award so kudos to him.

The night saw another lad's night round Dan's. The regulars were in attendance and it was shaping up to be a good night. Following tradition, we played another game of 'ring of fire'. Last time Elliot lost out big time and he was very much the loser again. Dan made a rule that you can only call each other by our middle names. Punishment was downing a drink. Elliot seemed to forget this rule and had to down 7 pints. Several hours later, with an evil concoction of cider/lager/sambuca/vodka, the already plastered Elliot drew the last Ace which meant he had to down this massive pitcher of stuff. Howesy decided that he wanted to do it and downed the whole thing in about 10 seconds. Then Elliot got naked and ran down the road. The non-naked ones locked him out haha!

After putting his clothes back on, Elliot crashed out on the sofa at about 12:30. Big Mistake. Elliot woke up with every inch of his body covered in pen. At least 20 expletives were present, along with numerous cocks and scribbles.

At about 1, Ethan and Flo came round and we played tennis till about 4, when Sam, Dave, Ethan and Flo went home. Me and Dan stayed up talking for an hour and went to sleep at 5. Elliot's alarm went off at 8 and he was in no fit state to go to work, so he phoned in sick. Dan treated us to chocolate milk and bacon sarnies in the morning wooop.

The rest of today petered out in bog standard fashion. Had a BBQ and it was good :)

I've got no idea what to do for Rooster's roundup today so for once, I'll give it a miss.

So we finish with Rooster's riddle. Dan Marshall solved the last riddle, the answer of course being 'halfway'. You get past half way in a forest and you start walking out of it.

Today's riddle is: "2 fathers and 2 sons go fishing on a lake. Each man catches a fish and yet, they return from the trip with only 3 fish. How is this possible?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Hey guys, wanna go play catch?

2009-06-11T19:55:00.002+01:00

It's that time again folks where I say hello and you say hello to Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedication goes to Kyle Futers for our epic piggy back race in PE. It also goes to Arron again because he is still gay with robots.

Today started off like any normal day, Electronics was pretty standard, except we had a visitor from Kingston College was there. As the visitor probed Roman's work, he commented on how sexy the Mig-29 was....or something like. The Visitor was shocked. Maths went by without a hitch, Arron is still gay with robots so no change there. Lunch was pretty amusing, I made a gash in Jez's water bottle and he sprayed everybody. Very amusing, very uncool. PE was pretty funny, we started learning about power and energy and had a wonderful Piggy Back race. Me and Kyle took on big hench jonny carrying wee little Jack. Me and Kyle blitzed the 20m course in 5.15 seconds. Now that's what I call power!

I got home and had a very much American-stylee evening. Me and Jordy played catch, followed by some Street Hockey, followed by a wonderful Pogo Stick session. That's right folks, I have a pogo stick! :D:D:D

Annnd we roll on nicely to Rooster's roundup, where today's topic is: Chavs.

Arrrggh Chavs. They wear classic Reeboks, knackered converse and trackie bottoms tucked in socks. But all of that is what the point is not. The point's that they are a stupid load of pricks whose main goal in life is nothing. Aside being pricks. Which they are very good at.

Chavs hang about street corners, smoking their weed and comparing their argos bling, a;; in the name of being 'cool'. The only thing cool chavs is the facy they're like slinkies- fun to watch fall down the stairs. They wear crap clothes, talk like they're black and accuse anybody of remotely looking at them of disrespectin dem. Nahhhh chavs, get lost. What's the first question at the chav meeting? Whatchooo looking at? The thing about chavs is, they think they're all that. They stroll about with an air of arrogance which is often unfounded. They all reckon they're hard but I guarantee, any Chav will not fight you unless he has his homies present. Chavs are incredibly anti-social, drinking cider, starting fires, carry knives and mugging old ladies. Old ladies should never be mugged. Ever. I hate chavs, with a large passion.

Yesterday's riddle was solved by Dan Marshall again. Sam Howes beat Jez into 2nd place by 10 seconds!! The answer: Ask one guy "Which way would the other guy send me" Then go the opposite way. The person telling the truth will tell you that the liar will send you the wrong way. The liar would tell you the truth teller would send you the wrong way, hence going the opposite direction.

Rooster's riddle today is a little less long winded. Riddle:
"How far can you walk into a forest?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Back to the old grind...

2009-06-10T18:24:00.005+01:00

Hello once again as we say hello to Rooster's marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to the other 2 members of the maths trio: Jack 'Shorts' Scott and Arron. No dedication for the mischievious one because he didn't turn up. Final dedication goes to Charley cos it's her birthday.

Today was the worst day on Rooster's timetable because he started early and finished late. Ok, first lesson was tutorial followed by a free but hanging about does make you tired....honest!
Physics and Maths followed with little event, although maths did give me the opportunity to catch up with my maths homies. The main thing I learnt in maths today: Arron is gay with robots.

Other highlights of the day include: The epic downpour at lunch, correctly guessing a number between 1 and 100, pushing dave and dan into the bush (i was a little harsh on dan tbf) and discovering zac's sandpaper beard.

Short blog today but not much really happened. Today's Rooster's roundup will go down a treat with the Kenya Crew as I will now introduce the world to: The Art of Jokes. (KC feel free to add any I have missed.)

Now before we get started, let me lay out some basics. There are 6 levels of jokes, with several sub sections included. Level 1 being basic, 6 being very humorous.

Level 1: Knock, Knock jokes. The most simple form of joke, easy to tell, highly unamusing.

Level 2: Doctor, Doctor jokes. Slightly more amusing yet still basic stuff.

Level 3: Englishman/Irishman/Scottishman jokes. Not fantastically amusing, but a hint of racism beginning to creep in.
Level 3.5: Toilet Humour/Sick Jokes

Level 4: Sarcasm. Horribly annoying, very funny.
Level 4.1: Innuendo
Level 4.2: Causing others pain.

Level 5: Rinsing. Making the receiver look like an idiot.
Level 5a: Collective rinsing. Everybody rinsing one person for humour.

Level 6: Self rinsing. Rinsing yourself for the purposes of others' entertainment.

The winner of yesterday's riddle was Dan Marshall, 2nd place was Jez. The answer: Turn on light A for 5 minutes. Switch off A and turn on B. Go upstairs. If the light is off and it is warm to touch, it's switch A. If it is on, it is switch B. If it is off and cold, it's switch C.

Today's riddle: "You are walking towards a town and a fork in the road appears. You have no clue which one leads you to town. Two people are standing by the forks, with a sign behind them saying 'one of us always tells the truth, the other always lies'. Both of them know which road leads you to town. You can only select one person to talk to and ask them only one question. What question do you ask to guarantee you will get the road that leads you to town? And having asked this question, which road do you take?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Pink Tie Day!

2009-06-09T19:27:00.002+01:00

Hello once again folks to another exciting edition of Rooster's marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to Kempy, Joe Grilli and Somil for their support in last night's epic debeate.

Normally I start the blog with today's events but I shall start with last nights. Rooster's roundup touched a nerver with a certain BNP supporter, who aired his views underneath the previous posts (see comments for more details) I feel it's safe to say I won the argument and it is safe to say the BNP are racist, period. To top it all off, the BNP leader was egged today haahahha!

Now we start off with today. After agreeing to Dave and Dan's tie deal, I proudly strolled into college with a wonderful pink striped tie....except I went further. Cue Long sleeved shirt, V neck sweater, school trousers and bright Red football socks pulled up to the knee, tucked into the trousers. A backwards baseball cap touched my new look off nicely. It went down a treat.

The first lesson of the day saw the wonderful return of the wonderful Roman Alakin. For those of you who don't know, Roman is a boy in my electronics class. He is very amusing and rants and raves about tanks, gypsies, various guns and black people. So so un PC. So so so funny! Electronics went by as standard, the outfit getting a few dodgy looks but everyone accepted it.

Physics rolled on and we had a brief intro to A2 stuff. We did a bit of modeling on the PC and mine and Aaron's rabbit farm went splendidly well. At 2 points, we had so many rabbits we had to cull them. Unfortunately, we let the cull go on for too long and killed off our rabbit population....doh!

PE was a doss and me and McIvor chose our options. Luckily, we chose the same 2 topics. Comparative and Biomechanics. Now for all those of you who think PE isn't really a subject think again. Biomechanics is essentially Physics. Applying Newton's laws of motion to sporting situations. Hopefully though, a successful RAF application will mean i don't have to do it :D

Now we roll on to Rooster's round up. Yesterday sparked a massive debate as a BNP supporter posted in disagreement. Well try hard to disagree with this topic: Darts

Now the large majority of you probably think darts is a sport. I regret to inform you all that darts is not a sport. For one, there is no world governing body, therefore it is not a sport. Even if you look past that then there's still plenty of reasons for darts not being a sport. For one, where is the physical element? Everybody knows that sports should have a physical side to it. Unless you count walking from the oche to the board but I'm not sure it's the same thing. In what other sport can you drink and eat copious amounts of crap and still be great? Snooker that's where. Snooker is also not a sport in my eyes.

Don't get me wrong, darts has it's entertaining moments but it's not a sport. It's an activity. A pub game, if you like. But not a sport. The players take it all too seriously and have even given themselves nicknames to make it appear more sport like. Pub games are what they say on the tin, games played in the pub. In no way should they resemble sport. They are activities and board games done for entertainment.

Sub standard roundup but I cba today. Yesterday's riddle was won by the Abranator! An honourable mention goes to surprise 2nd place Steve Wellman!
Which means the scoreboard is as follows:
Sarah Abrams: 2
Daniel Marshall: 2
George Peterkin: 1

Rooster's riddle of the day is again a tough one, this time the answer is a little bit longer:
"You are in a house with limited power. You want to turn the upstairs light on. You are downstairs and infront of you are 3 switches, A, B and C. You know that one of the switches turns on the upstairs light but are not sure which. By making only one trip up the stairs, how can you tell which switch turns the upstairs light on?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Saving Ryan's Privates

2009-06-08T20:48:00.004+01:00

Welcome back everybody to Rooster's marvellous blog. Today's dedications go to the main man and a lovely ladeee. Whitby for accepting my peace treaty (let's never go to war again!) and The Abranator for being honest! Everyone loves honesty!

Well today was an eventful yet uneventful day in Rooster's life. The electricians finally finished their work and their parting gift to us was a melted wire from out garage. Now i'm not normally one to contemplate death but having seeing the wire, I cannot believe how close the house was to going up in smoke. Well I said they left it but they actually took it to show to their boss.

The morning saw me and Pops venture out to the Retail Park in search of some sort of USB device. We went to Curry's located said device only to find we'd been overcharged. In a flash we went to complain but no the man said, we hadn't been overcharged. Despite the lack of price tags on the shelf, he maintained his correctness. He was.

I spent a good half hour cleaning my Motorcycle today aswell. It's now sparkly clean and ready to tackle college tomorrow. Seeing as the electricians were working in the garage, it has to be stored outside. I complained for ages to Abrams who came up with the smart suggestion of putting my bike in the kitchen. Little did I know she thought my motorbike was a pedal bike. She was shocked. I am full of surprises.

Jordy got home and I had lasagne. Those 2 events were unrelated. But I did introduce him to the most epic war film in history, Saving Private Ryan. Sadly, he did not appreciate it as much as I did, missing out the finer details and the whole script of it all. I did my best folks.

I also had a good heart to heart with Abrams. Bless her, she has enough going on in her life without having to listen to my ramblings. Abrams is an honest lass, I'll tell you all that for free.

Which leads us nicely onto Rooster's round up. Today's topic is a little more generic and the topic is very topical. Topic: The BNP.

Well after the BNP won it's first 2 seats on European Parliament, I felt it was very necessary to rant about them. For the less in the know readers, the , BNP are a racist political party with racist views and racist agendas. They are racist.

Anyway, how can we morally allow ourselves to have a racist party on European Parliament? Really, racists are the scum of this earth, judging colour by their beliefs, ethnicity and nationality. They heckle immigrants for taking our jobs, although they don't realise how good immigrants are. Immigrants do all the shitty jobs like binmen and street cleaners, so us. the good British public don't have to. When they take our more accessible jobs like plumbers and gas engineers, they do better jobs (because they work harder) and get paid less. Would you rather have Bob, white english male who has 4 tea breaks every 2 minutes or Janusz who has one 2 minute break every 4 hours AND can get you a conservatory for a good knock off deal? I know where my money is.

The BNP scrutinise and criticise everything about other races with little or no reason. It's not like the BNP were once petrolled bombed by a large group of black men and muslims. I mean if that happened, it'd be borderline understandable but no, it hasn't happened so BNP quit your whining and get real jobs. You don't care about the British people, you just want to be racist and then form a political party as a guise to be racist and get away with it. Really, get some real agendas and stop forcing other races out of our wonderfully multi-cultural nation.

The winner of yesterday's riddle was George Peterkin. 2nd place was David Gregory....i think.
Today's riddle is a tough one with an answer that WILL make you groan. It may not be to most popular one. I give you a tip DO NOT think too hard about it. Read the riddle carefully several times.

The riddle is: "Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake, yet not a single man got wet, how is this possible?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Apology

2009-06-07T22:30:00.002+01:00

I would like to apologise to Whitby for maintaing a state of war between our blogs. I have publicly stated numerous times that DanWhitby'sAmazing blog is better than mine but I feel he does not need to announce his feelings to the world.
I hope we can move forward from this.

Happenings.

2009-06-07T19:38:00.002+01:00

Welcome back folks to Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's blog is dedicated to D-Unit for not losing my phone. It also goes to Shane aka Finch for his alleged happenings in Cardiff. LMAO!!

Today saw very little occur in Rooster's life. I played some Fifa and contracted Fifa Rage. I was running about the house shouting and chucking cushions left right and centre. Games frustrate me deeply.

Now I feel I have to respond to a comment made on another popular blog. I feel the post made by Mr Whitby was unprovoked, but I wish our blogs can co-exist peacefully. I feel no need to compete for fans because we share many a fan.

I had a wonderful roast dinner for tea and afterwards sat down and watched Role Models and I must say it is a very amusing film. Sketchy at places but amusing nonetheless.

After that horribly uneventful today, we roll on to Rooster's roundup. Today's roundup is again a different one with a few questions that just make you think a little...

Shouldn't Cookies be called 'bakeies' seeing as we bake them?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How do snow plough drivers get to work in the mornings?
If a word in the dictionary is misspelled, how would we know?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
Why do banks charge you for having in-sufficient funds when they know there's no money in the account anyway?
If a coffee mug has tea in it, is it still a coffee mug?
Do Tetley's employees get coffee breaks?

Yesterday's riddle was solved by Dan Marshall. 2nd place was George Peterkin. Today's riddle is: You have 2 jugs of water and a barrel. You want to pour both jugs of water in to a barrel but still want to know which water came from which jug. Without using a divider in the barrel, how can you know which water comes from which jug?

Love you all
x

Roose-What?

2009-06-06T21:06:00.000+01:00

Welcome back folks to a mildy epic edition of Rooster's blog. Today's dedication goes to Sarah A. for putting up with my late night ramblings (y)

Weekend. Always good fun but as ever, I had very little to do. The morning petered out in usual fashion, woke up at 10, played some PS3, beat Jordy at NHL, usual stuff really. Mum and Chaz did the race for life and allegedlt mother did swimmingly, finishing within the top 20. Kudos mummy.

At 4ish I pootled round Marshall's for some PS3. Dan had a new tennis game so I decided we'd play that. I took Djokavic and he took Nadal. It looked to be an epic game. Huge backhands from Djokovic and Nadal's pace about the court seemed to be too close to call. I'm pleased to say Djokovic won 7-5, 6-3. 7-6. Happy days. We played again, myself as Murray and Dan as Federer. Murray is Scottish.

Afterwards we started a large Fifa battle. Pick a league and play as teams in those leagues. After 7 games, I am 7-0 up. I beat Dan as Bordeaux (with 10 men) which, (howesy will vouch for) is no mean feat.

I got home and enjoyed some wonderful Burritos and I grabbed a Cornetto, sat down and watched Robin Hood, good times.

Uneventful at best, but we roll on to Rooster's round up. A more reflective than rantish sort of round up today. It's very topical and the topic is: School

School. Everybody loves it and everybody hates it at times. But school is a wonderful journey where you discover friends and you change dramatically. 5 years seems like a very short time, but in those 5 secondary years, your life will have changed dramatically.

Remember back to year 7. At first you were petrified, scared of being bog flushed, worried if you'll make new friends. But as you slowly eased your way into it, you made friends and started enjoying yourself....temporarily. Then you get fed up of school and realise that you hate it.

Year 8 rolls on and you know that this is the best year. No teachers to impress, no vital end of year exams, you all plan on making the most of it. Year 8 is definitely the year where you're at your cockiest. You think that detties are cool, as is not doing your homework. More effort is put into your appearance, you think you're all that. You HATE school with a passion and cannot understand its's purpose.

Year 9 is probably the year you're most mature. You've settled into a steady school groove and you realise that next year is the start of GCSE's and you all make an effort to appear more gown up. You start drinking and there is a large reduction in the amount of detentions you receive (for me anyway)

Then rolls on year 10. GCSE's have started and teachers relax and start to treat you like adults...which introduces you to the wonderful world of banter. Banter is a wonderful thing within classrooms. Everyone joins in and it is great at building a good vibe in the class. As the teachers relax, you start becoming immature again and silly contests begin i.e. who can get closest to teachers'seet without them noticing. You actually realise how important school may be to you.

Year 11. IMO the best year of school. Ok you have exams but banter is at an all time high and you start to make life choices. The sense of independance you get is wonderful and you may even enjoy school. Alcohol consumption is through the roof and then exams roll round. You find that it's all rather stressful but you get there in the end.

Looking back, you realise that they were the best 5 years of your life. You laughed, cried, dossed, worked and joked your way through an important stage in your life. Friends were lost and made (some even for life) gossip was rife and rumours were spread. Who shagged who and whose cat's dead? Overall you loved your time and wish you could go back. Then you go to college and become dossers.

Yesterday's riddle was solved in 4 minutes by Sarah, Mark Boylett an honourable 2nd. The answer of course was a towel.

Rooster's riddle for today is: "A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears." A young man bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be? "

Love you all
Rooster
x

M1

2009-06-05T22:14:00.000+01:00

Welcome back folks to a very upbeat edition of Rooster's blog. Today's blog is dedicated to the portuguese playboy, Whitby for our epic game of wall-ball and to George because he's singing tonight, good luck :)

Today saw the coming and going of Rooster's last exam. I stayed up till about 1 last night talking to the Abranator and woke up at 7:00am for the impending exam at 9. Ready to leave the house, bike helmet in hand, it occured to me, I don't actually know where I'm sitting. I rushed to the laptop, logged onto Cristal and looked at the exam timetable. I saw something that did not amuse me. My exam was actually at 13:15, meaning I was up far too early! A good 2 hours of sleep I missed out on! But for once, I used my time wisely. Normally I'd play PS3 instead of revising but no. I did 2 hours worth of revision and boy did it pay off.

I prayed for AQA to make the mechanics paper easy. Now I'm not sure if it was the revision, my natural ability to retain information, or the fact the paper may have been easy, but the exam was particularly simple. Barring a minor slip on the last question, it went swimmingly. A superb exam!

The evening rolled on and with the evening came Cobham training which meant I got to see Whitby :D! We arrived at Cobham and Pete asked us to pump up all the balls for the forthcoming sesh. Instead, Whitby and myself played the most epic game of wall ball. One rally lasted 2 minutes and I had Whitby on the pitch, behind the stand and in the stand. The Mediterranean hunk peservered and won the point. I eventually overcame Dan's strong challenge and I won 15-12 i think. Training itself was average but I stood up all of the outfield players, tonking the run at the end. Never, ever tell me goalie's are unfit.

As I said, I am a man of the people and am open to suggestions. Jez suggested a topic for today's Rooster's round up and I am more than happy to oblige. The Round up topic today: Big Brother.

Big Brother is a poor TV show created by C4 for no apparent reason. They call it reality TV but I beg to differ. Where in the real world will you find: a tourette's sufferer, a gay man, a blind man, a welsh man, a lesbian and a gran whose auntie's dog's 3rd cousin has a human hand.

Ok so I made the last one up but still, where in reality do you find all of those people in the same room? In a joke that's where. It all sounds like one big joke. And that is very fitting for Big Brother. Because it is a joke. It is a joke TV programme which still reels in the viewers in the millions. How can millions of people watch such crap? I mean it's not even interesting. All you see is several downies having arguments, parading around a garden and sitting in a room on their own. Where's the interest in that? It's not entertainment, it's just pathetic.

The people who go on the show are just as pathetic. Going on some shite TV show in a vain attempt to become famous. Jade Goody is the only z-list celebrity to get something out of this TV show and look where she ended up. Ouch.

All I'm saying is that reality TV should be real. It shouldn't pit poor idiotic people with god knows what conditions against each other. Its not entertainment it's cruelty. These poor people don't know everyone is laughing at them, which is sad....and downright hilarious . Like that Pete with tourettes ooo bastard hhhmmdsfds. It's kinda mean to laugh at him but I couldn't help it. Message of the day from Rooster: Big Brother is tripe.

Which leads us on to Rooster's riddle. The winner of yesterday's riddle was Dan Marshall who correctly answered: The driver saw the dog because it was broad day light.

Today's riddle is: "What gets wetter the more it dries."

Love you all
Rooster
x

"Does this hat make me look fly-eth?"

2009-06-04T19:02:00.000+01:00

Heeelloooo everybody! The wonderful Rooster's blog is back with a bang! Today's blog dedications see 2 wonderful people get hat-trick dedications. First goes to Sam Howes because I really want him to do well in maths tomorrow. The 2nd sees history made as this man gets his 3rd dedication in a row! I watched Bear Grylls on telly this morning and he reminds me of Riggsy so Riggsy gets a dedication for being like Bear Grylls :) Final one goes to George because he thinks my blog is improving.

I woke up this morning at 8ish, go up and my breakfast. Whilst eating breakfast, which was honey nut cornflakes with skimmed milked....watery.(thankfully we've got semi-skimmed this week) I stuck Bear Grylls on the telly because nothing else was on. Don't get me wrong, I love Edward but what he did this morning was very unpleasant. In the middle of eating, he proceeded to make a shelter out of a dead camel. All the innards and stuff, not pleasant. Needless to say, it was disgusting yet incredibly inventive, kudos Bear. (Who no doubt will introduce a 'sleeping inside camels' badge for scouts)

After watching Bear, a miracle occured in Rooster's household, I sat down and did 2 hours of revision.... in a row! Unreal stuff.

I watched 4 episodes of Scrubs over lunch and they re-affirmed to me why I love it so much. "Your tongue stormed my mouth-castle" was a classic quote that stuck in my mind. After the delightful scrubs, I had a good o' power nap for the first time since my exercise bike marathon. I have to tell you all aswell, it was a pleasant nap at that.

Then 5 minutes ago, something happened that made my day. I was informed by my father that Sky Sports News were running a story on Notts County. They were interviewing the chairman in the notts county stand and an amusing event occured. With the word 'County' behind him and the y out of view, the chairman blocked out a letter in the word 'count'. No folks, the word was not cont. Hilarious: yes, Mature: No

Which brings us very nicely on to Rooster's Round up. Today's topic will no doubt prove popular with some of you. Topic: Heelies.

Heelies. Such a simple idea. Take shoes and put wheels in them. All seems like a harmless, money making ploy.... WRONG. Heelies are perhaps the worst invention in the world. Even worse than the chocolate teapot; more inneffective than buttons on coats of paint. More mind-numbingly stupid than the carpet fitter's ladder.

It's not the concept of the Heely that makes it ridiculous. It actually seems quite ingenious. The problem with the Heely is the target market. Children. Little children who still have no control over if they go to the toilet at night. Children with as much disregard for other people as the foolish parents who buy them. Because Heelies+Children= Annoyed Rooster.

It may not have happened to all of you, but it's certainly happened to me. There I was, having a gentle bimble round town when suddenly, some urchin on heelies loses control and uses me as a brake. That's right folks a 9 year old boy careered into me and used me to stop himself. Now I'm quite a tolerant person but anybody who wears heelies but can't stop is going to feel the full force of a Rooster rant. So I said to this small child, "Do you mind?" To which the cheeky sod replied "Get out of my way" Now he was a small child and I couldn't bring myself to shout at him; but when the mother came and shouted at me for trying to hurt her son I let rip. How dare she. How dare she buy her unco-ordinated little troll heelies, let him loose on the streets to crash, bump and kill whoever he pleases and then shout at me for getting in his way. I'm sorry I don't have eyes in the back of my head. I'm sorry I have natural blind spots due to my height. But most of all I'm sorry for society. What kind of witch cannot even offer an apology for her reckless behaviour.

Kids on heelies make my blood boil. I'm so tempted nowadays to stick out a cheeky leg; to block their path or accidentally punch them in the face. The thing that also amuses me about heelies is the people who make them. With all these kids out of control, no doubt someone will get hurt and heelies would get sued. However, they do put a yellow sticker on the bottom saying 'removing this sticker means that heelies cannot be held liable for any injuries caused' Now my sister had a pair of heelies and I instructed her to keep the sticker on. 5 Minutes of walking later, the sticker falls off. Kids on Heelies need to be shot. The parents who buy them need a good kicking. No heelies, no.

Get your thinking caps on guys because it's time for Rooster's riddle. I've had a suggestion from a fan that rather than doing 'teasers' I should actually do a riddle. So to please him, here we go. I shall return with more teasers though in the near future.

The riddle is: "A black dog stands in the middle of a crossroads in a town painted black. There is no moon in the sky and none of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver have seen the dog in time?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

Pointless

2009-06-03T18:56:00.001+01:00

We arrive once again to the time of day when Rooster does his blog. Well i can inform you all that today was the least interesting day in the history of Rooster's blog. Today's dedication goes to Fernando Torres for his wonder goal today. It also goes to Riggsy (again) because he said nice things on my profile pic.

This morning mother woke me up at 7:00am for no reason. I promptly told her to go away and that I didn't have to be up till at least 8. Luckily, I returned to my sleep and had a wonderful dream. The only part of the dream I remember was an attractive young lady (whose name I shall not mention) had a toothpick in her eye. I heroically pulled it out, then my alarm went off.

The morning petered out in usual fashion, I was messing about on Fifa and I then scored one of the greatest goals in the history of football. For those interested, facebook me.

I had a quiet little revision sessoion in the afternoon, which was very unproductive. I also managed to go on a cheeky 3 mile run and I felt wonderful for doing so. I was smart enough not to time the run so I had no way of being disappointed.

Which leads us very nicely onto Rooster's roundup, where today's topic is: Couples.

Ahhh couples. Everybody loves having a partner to do whatever with. But some couples just really really wind me up. You know the ones. The ones that are really into each other. The ones that write soppy facebook messages to each other. Bleugggh. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a couple hater, I very much approve of the idea. But do these lovey dove couples have to rub it in my face? Every time I talk to you, do I want to see you both contesting for the tongue wrestling championships? No I do not. Do I want to hear the slurping and slopping and see the intimacy of it all? Not particularly. Once again folks, don't mistake for somebody who can't deal with PDA. I've got no issues with PDA, I just don't want to see it every 2 seconds of my life.

I just wish these couples would tone it down a little. A little smooch here and there is cool, but anything more is just selfish on those around you. Life is not a porno so I don't want you turning it into one. Keep it in the bedroom please folks. How would you couples like it if you were having a go around in one's bedroom and I invited the entire world to see? You'd say something like "Let us have our privacy" If that is the case, do not take your 'private' matters and thrust them into the public eye, because what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Unless you're bragging to your mates about who you had over the night before, if you catch my drift. Main culprits: Jez and Joanna. Jez mate, I don't want to see Joanna clinging to you in the quad, you 2 going at it with her arse hanging out, that is NOT cool.
Previous culprits: Zac and Emily. Everybody knows you 2 were going out. But did you have to pull each other in English and in Science and the music cupboards? I don't think you did.

After a debating inspiring riddles yesterday, Rooster's riddles returns with another beauty: "How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?"

Substandard round up I know I know!

Love you all
Rooster
x

Hoops

2009-06-02T19:33:00.000+01:00

Hello all and welcome back once again to Rooster's blog. As you can all see, I'm sporting a new template and I hope you like it (y). Today's dedication goes to Riggsy because it was his birthday yesterday :) it also goes to Jonny for giving me my round up topic.

Like most days during study leave, this one wasn't largely eventful. The morning went by with little activity, although I did pop to the BP to get some brake fluid for my ride. I also indulged myself in a Magnum Classic, good times :)

In the afternoon I popped over to D-Unit's for a good ol' chillaxing session. I beat him at countless games of Fifa and annihalated him at NHL arcade. 20-2 was the largest score I think. Not content with the PS3, I also managed to beat Dan at countdown aswell, not the best of days for D-Unit. Amin, Earl, Ryan and Flo came over and we played some B-ball. Flo and I were spectators at times, although I did string together an impressive series of baskets. Dan's house became awash with NBA talent scouts but (to their disappointment) I turned them all down. I also had a lovely chat with Scotty, reminicsing the players from Dream Team, fun stuff.

We bring ourselves once again to the main focus of the blog, Rooster's roundup. A new spin once again on the round up with a wonderful translation table.

Now that the PC brigade has kicked in here's a wonderful self-help guide to being PC. I'll give you some old phrases and give you your new PC versions.

Old Phrase: New Phrase:

No Fucking way. I'm fairly sure that's not feasible.
You're shitting me. I don't believe you.
Who the fuck are you? Hello, I don't think we've met
Tell someone who gives a shit Have you run that by....
Who gives a fuck? I'm not sure that's a problem
She's a bitch. She's assertive and goal orientated
He's a fucking prick He's somewhat insensitive
You haven't a fucking clue You could use some more training
My mind is fucked I'm a little disorganised today
Poke that up your arse No thank you
He's a dumb shit He drives a Skoda
Fuck off. I'll take it into consideration and get back to you
Well fuck me! My gosh!

Which leads us onto the final part of the blog, Rooster's riddle. Today's riddle is: "If it is Zero degrees centigrade outside and it will be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?" (there is a correct answer to this one, for those intrigued, facebook me)

Love you all
Rooster
x

Boring-Hell

2009-06-01T18:58:00.000+01:00

Welcome back ladies and gents to Rooster's blog. Today's highly uneventful blog is dedicated to the Cobham Chix for their solid first tourney performance yesterday, well done girlies :)

Today was perhaps the most boring day in Rooster blog history. Literally. It was beautiful outside, so I decided I'd try and meet up with somebody but to no avail. Everyone was either busy or didn't text back, which made me wonder, 'do these people even like me?' I still think they do but I'll always have my doubts, especially over D-Unit, he's an enigma.

Dan came over several times do whatever, twice I told him to piss off out of my house. Since he's moved out he thinks he can drop by and abuse me. No Daniel No.

The morning went by with little event, I played PS3 for a bit and watched a wee bit of telly, the only major hap being I made myself bleed cutting my toe nails. Never, ever cut your toe nails with a hacksaw... The afternoon was pleasant. I sat outside with Shades+Laptop and a wonderful few hours in the sun. Then Jordy came home and ruined the pleasantness.

Now we get to the more interesting part of the blog, Rooster's Roundup, back on glorious form, the topic today is: Saying Ridiculous things.

Ahhh yes, saying stupid things, everybody does (albeit some more than others) but it isn't moments of sheer stupidity that I'm ranting about (i.e. Chloe H. "showing us how to make a boat") it's comments that attempt to sound reasonable but infact do the opposite.

The classic one for me is about spiders. People who are scared of spiders have a habit of climing up onto something, screaming, shouting and trying to beat said spider with an object of sorts. Then pops up some pleb who always says "Its more scared of you than you are of it." I have to say folks that, that is the biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard. I'm not scared of spiders at all but some people I do know are absolutely petrified. Spiders more scared of us? How many times have you seen a spider walk into a room, see a person, then proceed to jump on a chair, attempt to beat said person with a mop shreaking "AHHHH IT'S A PERSON GET IT OUT OF HERE!" ?No it doesn't happen. So whoever says "Spiders are more scared of you" No, no they are not.

There are several other stupid things that people say. E.g. "It's always in the last place you look" Well, no shit Sherlock. I've found the remote but stuff it, let's carry on looking! Another classic I heard in the cinema several years ago. Some dickweed sat next to me said "Did you seeee that!??" in complete shock and awe. I said to him "No I didn't actually. Thank you for notifying me that something happened in the film. I wasn't actually watching, I just like paying £5 just to stare at ceilings." Did I see that? Yes mate I did. There are so many classic stupid statements/questions. I end the round up with a personal favourite of mine. The old saying "Oh you just want your cake and eat it to" Well what kind of stupid saying is that? What on earth is the point of having a cake if you're not allowed to eat it? Whose cake am I allowed to eat, someone else's? Is there a never ending chain of people eating each other's cakes because we're not allowed to eat our own. Well idiots of the world, I will have my cake and I shall eat it.

After missing yesterday's blog due to family issues, today sees the return of our new section, Rooster's riddle. Todays riddle is: Why do we use real lemons in washing up liquid but artificial lemons in lemon juice?

Love you all
Rooster
x

Cobham Cup

2009-05-31T19:21:00.001+01:00

Hello once again folks and welcome to another entry in Rooster's blog. Today's dedication goes to a soon to be world famous striker, Mr Mark Knight.

The past 2 days have been pretty hectic with the running of the inaugaral Cobham Cup. Both Saturday and Sunday I found myself out of bet at 6.30 am, hideous, hideously early. Saturday morning I got to Cobham at 7.30ish and started car parking at 8. Needless to say, I was the don of car parking, combining expert dance moves and clear hand signals (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDa2rLZoN2Q&feature=related for an accurate representation). Crowley and the drivers loved it.

The BBQ over the 2 days was also doing a stella job, providing the hungry workers with as much burgers/chips etc etc as we could eat. I was a fat pig and had 4.

Whitby kept me and everyone thoroughly entertained; telling me various happenings and 'news' stories. :):) Although, we had an awful experience moving this smelly mouldy paint, bad times.

Today saw Rooster take over the mike of the tournament, which caused Mark Knight to sprout a new nickname 'radio face'. Tbh I thought I was pretty good on the ol' mike but as Knighty said, definitely a face for the radio. Ken was in a grumpy mood all day.

Kudos goes to the lads from PSR, they did a superb job, organising and running the whole thing, Stokey and Benjamin stayed 2 nights at Cobham to make sure everything was all in place. Credit also goes to Dan, Arnold, Wils, Ando and Rimmer for employing the others haha.

Moving forward swiftly, we bring ourselves to Rooster's roundup, which is slightly different today. Today's topic is actually a battle between 3 titans. Hold on to your stomachs folks because this will make you queasy. Today's 3 giants are: Daniel 'D-Unit' Marshall. Chris 'Rooster' Rousell and Daniel 'Portugese Playboy' Whitby, all vying for the title: The Lord of the Lavvie.

In the slightly yellow corner is D-Unit. D-Unit's credentials are massive and is perhaps the favourite for tonight's battle. After contracting Campylabacter in Kenya, he made 8 toilet trips a day. This bout of foreign disease caused the back passage to flow for 5 days, totalling roughly 40 trips to the bog. Pleasant.

In the sticky brown corner, Rooster. Rooster is also from a foreign disease background, gaining Campylabacter from fellow contestant D-Unit. Rooster had 6 trips a day for 3 days. Although less in quantity, Rooster is a speed demon, once having 3 seperate trips in 25 minutes. Smelly stuff.

Finally we have the dark horse of the competition. In the sloppy red corner, The Playboy himself. Dan only got the jelly belly today after inhaling the intoxicating aroma of some horrible paint. New to the business, he has potential to go far...and long. Phhewwww

There is only one winner though. After receiving a health warning from the NHS, being forced into quarantine AND spreading the disease to 6 other people, D-Unit has to be crowned the Lord of the Lavvie.

Not a pleasant one folks,

Love you all,
Rooster aka Radio Face

Haircut+Happenings

2009-05-29T19:31:00.000+01:00

Guten Tag folks and welcome once again to a wonderful edition of Rooster's mildly epic blog. Today's dedication goes to a special lad. He's the king of blogging, tv saves and making me laugh. Give it up for Daniel Whitby everybody!

Today started off exactly the same as yesterday, woken up at silly o'clock whilst in the middle of a wonderful dream. And, as like yesterday, the details of my dream have eluded me for the rest of the day, it was definitely a goodun though.

Jordy naively challenged me AGAIN to a playoff series at NHL. Only the one game was played and it was a thriller. Scoring left, right and centre and with 10 seconds left on the clock, Pavel Datsyuk was on a breakaway for the Outlaws (rooster's team). He hit the post and we went to OT. OT was largely uneventful, a few penalties here and there, but no major scoring chances. After the 5 minutes of OT, we went to a shootout. There was one, solitary goal scored in the shootout. Chris Rousell spinning and sticking the puck through Brodeur's pads. 1-0 in the series to the Outlaws (y)

The afternoon came and I went to get a much needed hair cut. I was fed up of being left with a mullet so I made sure it didn't return and had a 3 all over. The only problem being, I forgot about the bald spot on the front of my head....which is now very visible, bad times.

On the way back home, I popped in to see D-Unit and he was very happy to see me. We played Fifa, shot some hoops and then popped inside for our countdown fix. I'm pleased to say I had a massive improvement on recent performances and finished with a respectable 38....or something like that.

More Fifa ensued after countdown with Netherlands taking on Spain (rooster). The large majority of games went to extra time, due to the evenly matched nature of D-Unit and myself. One game was 3-3 after the 90. I won 7-3 AET, some superb passing saw Villa bang in his hat-trick and i went home a happy man.

After that dull account of my day, lets get to the part we all look forward to, Rooster's Round up. I have had suggestions of renaming the roundup to Rooster's rant, however, after seeing the failure of coco pops name change to 'choco krispies' i've decided against it. I am very much open to suggestion though folks and any improvements you feel could be made, Facebook me :) Today's topic is: Arrogant footballers.

Footballers are paid ooodles amounts of money to kick balls about. People moan day and night about how overpaid they are. Tbh I don't care how much they are paid, as long as they do their job and don't rub their talent in my face. However, there are several footballers out there who I absolutely detest. Yes they may be superbly gifted, but they have no right to behave in the way they do. The main culprit of this (for me anyway) is the Bulgarian immigrant, Dimitar Berbatov. Now don't get me wrong, Berbs is outrageously skillful. But he comes across as lazy and so arrogant. He strolls about the pitch, seemingly uninterested in the game. He is NOT a team player and only has is best interests at heart. The pinnacle of this was his poor shot against Stoke that set up Tevez's goal. Any normal player would be happy to have set up a last minute winner, but not Berbs. He threw his arms down in disgust that he had missed and promptly sulked to the half way line. No congrats to Tevez. The ultimate hilarity of it all was his penalty miss against Everton. Bear in mind folks that this man cost United £30 million. He is paid at least £90,000 and all he had to do was score from 12 yards out. I'm sorry but Berbs, your arrogance is unfounded. Any player who thinks he is so gifted that he can walk about the pitch and do jack all should DEFINTELY score from 12 yards. The manner of it all made me chuckle. He nonchantly stepped up and assumed the keeper wouldn't dive the way he was shooting. Wrong.THE BEST bit of it all is that Berbatov scored less goals than Dirk Kuyt this year. I'm a Liverpool fan and love Kuyt to bits but any striker worth £30mill should be scoring more than Kuyt. Berbs=FAIL. Ronaldo is the other culprit. So talented, yet he sulks day and night. He is a hypocrite and deserves an execution. He dives, moans and cheats his way to victory. Wednesday night, he punched Puyol in the back of the head and had the cheek to tell him to get up and stop being a baby. Get real Cristiano. He is one of the best players in the game, but the arrogant and cheating side to his game ruins it for me. Messi is the only other player I'd put in the same talent bracket, but he doesn't rub his talent in our noses. He doesn't dive or whine till the cows come home. So Berbs and Ronaldo, stop your arrogance before you lose what little respect people have left of you.

After that rant, I end with a new feature to the Blog, Rooster's Riddle. Todays riddle is:
"If a man comes up to you and says that every thing he says is a lie, do you believe him?"

Love you all
Rooster
x

World Cup Wonders

2009-05-28T18:26:00.000+01:00

Hellllllooooo everybody! Welcome to a action-packed edition of Rooster's blog. Today's dedications go to Sam Howes (for his wonder goal), avid reader Sarah Abrams , D-Unit for our superlative world cup run and finally to Joshua Frost-Niven because of his antics with Megan ;);) hahahahaha

Today got off to a very unpleasant start with Dad waking me up at 7.50am to inform me that the electricians would be here soon. I'll have you all know I was having a splendid dream about a subject I have since forgotten, but it was good nonetheless! The morning petered out in usual fashion, the only anomoly being the Outlaws losing to the wolverines 4-3 in a play off series. Jarome Iginla grabbing a goal with 24 seconds left of OT to seal Jordy's first series win, kudos to him.

The afternoon was a lot more interesting. Howesy invited me to the Vyne for some football. We started off with an epic game in which Rooster bagged 2 goals and the ever superb super star Dan Whitby was cooking on some fine Calor Gas, pulling off some fantastic saves.

At about 3 we started the most unreal game of World Cup doubles. 12 pairs, 1 team out each round. Me and D-unit paired together and I felt we had a slender chance of doing ok. Things looked good, we breezed through the first 4 rounds, bagging early goals each time. Then, a moment of sheer beauty occured. The goalie threw the ball out; where Sam Howes from 20 yards out smashes the ball 1st time on the volley. It dipped over Laurence's head and crashed into the cage, an absolute worldie.

Marshall and I continued with our early goal habit and (eventually) advanced to the semi-finals. 2 goals to get through to the final were the rules. Hakim scored a screamer early on. Then Froggy scored, leaving me and Dan needing 2. Froggy had a shot that was goal bound; seeing our world cup lives flash before my eyes, I stuck my arse out and deflected the ball into the goal. 1-1-1. Inevitably Stillers put Hakim and himself through leaving 2 teams. Marshall unfortunately missed 2 clear cut chances and things began to look desperate. Will (now in goal) promptly threw the ball to Froggy who squared it Jugs who scored. After knocking out some serious competition, Marshall and myself were pleased with the days efforts. Hakim and Stillers won the final.

And its now our favourite part of the blog, making a glorious return, it is Rooster's round up! Today's topic: Political Correctness.

If you ask me folks, political correctness is a huge pile of bull crap. "Don't say this, so and so might be offended" Might be offended? Did anyone ever take my feelings into account? What if I get offended if I can't say what I want to say? Huh?

There is so much about being PC that grinds my gears. Not hanging being allowed to hang England flags out of the window is one of them. "Non-English people might be offended" I'm sorry but I've seen loads of people who aren't English hanging out flags of all different nations and not being asked to take them down. If they were asked, they might be offended. Well I DO get offended when the PCSO's ask me to take the England flag out of my window in my home in England, but nobody seems to care.

"Winter lights" is another prime example. Towns are now calling christmas lights, winter lights because 'christmas' may offend non-christians. I'm sorry but nobody gets offended by this, who on earth is offended by the word 'christmas'? Even if you are not christian, christmas will not be offensive. Do we get offended by Ramadan? Do we heck! Muslims are telling us they don't get offended, maybe we should take the hint? Anyone who does get offended, cop a load of this: We are a predominantly christian country, if you do not like our ideals and ceremonies, then either shut up or leave if we bother you that much. I'm sorry but if you went to an Islamic country and say you are offended by the calling out to prayer, they'd probably tell you to stop whining. They'd whip you for good measure too. All I'm saying is, let us have civil liberties. Let me hang my England flag outside the window. Let me call christmas lights, christmas lights. If we ban England flags, lets ban England shirts because that is the same thing except you rub it in everyone's face you walk past, not just everyone who walks by your house. PC brigade- fall down a hole and die.

Love you all
Rooster
x

Ring Of Fire

2009-05-27T18:05:00.001+01:00

Today is a double edition of Rooster's blog and sees the happenings of today and yesterday! Today's dedication goes to Sam Howes and Elliot Gough for his antics last night!

Yesterday was a pretty eventful one!! In afternoon I took a trip into Windsor, just because I could. I took a lil walk around the place with the fam and was treated to a fish and chip lunch by the river, good times :)

The evening saw the large majority of the days happenings. Elliot, Sam, David and myself spent the evening round D-unit's house and we all had a splendid time. Howesy brought 6 lagers and tbh it was not enough for the lads, so I bravely volunteered to pop into Brookwood and get some bevvies. 3 large bottles of cider later, we were back in business.

We then rolled into St. John's and bought 2 18" pizzas and I must have had 11 slices. By this stage, David had drank 4 glasses of Strongbow and was more or less drunk.... Elliot then made a bold suggestion...that we play 'ring of fire' Ring of fire is a card game. 52 cards around one large vase. Each man has their own supply of alcohol. Each card has an order an you do what the card says i.e. pour 2 pours of your drink into the middle.

This went on for some time, David was out early on and it left me Howesy elliot and d-unit to share the spoils. Elliot had an awful run and had 3 badduns in a row, he was last to 'strike a pose' and 'thumb the glass' which meant he downed 2 of his drinks.

At the end of the evening, Elliot picked up the 4th ace of the game which meant he had to down the entire vase in the middle. By now, the concuction was full of cider, lager and small amounts of tequila and rum. Elliot was not intoxicated, but he'd drunk so much, his belly was full. So when he downed the entire vase, he had no room left. Cue 2 minutes of vomiting. He was like a waterfall! Then when we got back we did several more shots and David went missing on several occasions. We had a lovely conversation with Dan's lady and Dan started spewing up aswell.

Today saw the Champions League final and what a game it was. Sylvinho was unreal, not the old man whitby claimed him to be. He didn't put a foot wrong all game and was my man of the match. Eto'o's goal was Van der Sar (who i've been saying is shit all season long) fault and Messi's goal was sublime. BARCELONAAA!!!! Take that United scummers.

Breaking news, Barcelona receive 40,000 season ticket applications in the aftermath of the final. A large group of people from Burnley, Stockport and Blackburn have all filed spanish visas and have promptly bought their season tickets.

No Rooster's round up today. I am looking for a different section to replace Rooster's round up, thoughts readers? New feature? No round up? No new feature? Round up + new feature? what do we want?

Love you all (especially Howesy and Elliot)

Rooster
x

Bank Holiday Boredom

2009-05-25T20:04:00.000+01:00

Welcome back once again to Rooster's blog! Today's dedication is a surprise one and goes to shorts aka Jack who lives in my maths class. Yay Jack :)

After cruelly laughing at Natalie Okri's exit from BGT last night, I hit the hay. I woke up at around 10ish again this morning and discovered that I had nothing on the agenda today. Boring-hell!

You'll be pleased to know folks that I did sod all, all day long. The playoff final came on and was a wonderful break from the boredom. Sheffield United lost (thank goodness). For those of you who don't know, I have a deep loathing of the Blades for their pathetic attempts to stay in the Premiership, suing poor west ham umpteen times. At the end of the day United, you're shit and will NEVER be good enough to play in the Prem. Seeing as you didn't win, why don't you sue Burnley because they caused a great loss of earnings today? Where's your £30 million bonus now Mr Blackwell? Waaaahey!

The evening saw the naive young Jordy challenged me to another playoff series on NHL. This time we took our supported teams, with the Anaheim Ducks (formerly the Mighty Ducks for those who have seen the films) squaring up against the Pittsburgh Penguins!

The 1st game saw the Ducks get off to a flier with a fantastic 7-3 rout of the Penguins. More of the same in the 2nd, the Ducks running out 5-2 winners. The 3rd game was very similar to the 2 previous games with the Ducks winning 6-2. Now last time I got 3-0 up in a series against wee Jordy, he squared it back to 3-0. I am pleased to say folks that this did not happen the 2nd time around and the Ducks sealed a 4-0 series win with a 4-1 victory. Suck on that Jordy.

Rooster's roundup today sees a wonderful rant with the topic of focus being: PCSO's.

Teens running riot, stabbing each other and drinking in public! "What on earth shall we do?" says the head of the police. "Let's create a force of police constables with limited authority but with a chummy nature about them, who will solve on average about 1 crime per year.... " some tool replies.

And that's the situation we have on our hand at the moment. PCSO's running about, spoiling young people's evenings/gatherings, whilst attempting to be friendly about it. The thing that annoys me most about PCSO's is that they are not policeman. They are more babysitters. Making sure us young people don't drink cider or create small fires and feeling pretty good about themselves. PCSO's think they are all that. The stab-proof vests, the asps and CS gas make them think they are real policeman. The problem is they take their limited role in society too seriously. They are like traffic wardens, or ticket inspectors, taking their restricted powers and flashing them about to everyone! Remember the 1 crime they solve a year? Its something stupid like littering or people making too much noise or young people having too much fun. For people who live on the streets, PCSO's have very little common sense. Just the other evening, a PCSO, searched me, took my water bottle and asked if there was water in it. I said yes it is. PCSO sniffs my old squash bottle filled with squash and tells me I'm a liar. "It smells like fruit" the PCSO boldy exclaims. You could see his face light up, "I've got an underage drinker on my hands" he thinks to himself. "Thats because its an old squash bottle" I reply. I said it with the smuggest, borderline arrogant grin. "Fair point" the PCSO replies, shamefaced and broken hearted. He walked away as everybody (even the real policeman who was there) laughed at him.

Chris 1-0 PCSO haha!

That was a rant and a half!!

Love you all....except PCSO's

Rooster
x

Town Time

2009-05-24T19:05:00.000+01:00

Good day ladies and gentleman, welcome back to Rooster's blog! Today's dedicants are once again D-Unit and the Beast in honour of the town happenings today.

Last night saw Rooster make his Brookwood debut and I have to say folks, it was a massive let down! I got cold, a damp arse and a policeman accused me of lying to him. Not a journey I plan on making again.

Roll on today, I woke up at a lovely and late 10am and proceeded to doss about for the 1st 3 hours of the day. At 1ish I gave Dave and Dan texts each, requesting they came to town. They both obliged and the beast picked me up in the Chuck Wagon!!! He then demonstrated his driving prowess and parallel parked us outside Wether spoons with superb accuracy!

We met Dan in the food court just after he had finished having a dump. A dump in a public toilet? Dutty dutty boy! After getting some beverages from MaccyD's we strolled in to Primark to purchase my summer wear. Dave bought me a hideous pink tie that I promised to wear when we return from study. Not looking forward to that.

We bimbled into Topman and Dave tried on some skinny jeans. Along with his skinny jeans, me and Dan found him an extra small, extra gay yellow vest. Dave put it on and looked very homosexual. He put on his original clothes and carried on looking very homosexual.

After getting a lift back in the Chuck Wagon, I sat down and watched Newcastle get relegated. It is a big shame because i detest Hull and would much rather see Newcastle than Hull in the prem, but shit happens. I also had a wonderfully nice BBQ, good times :) BGT is on later and it promises to be a gooden!!!

We end today with Rooster's roundup. After watching my super sweet 16 on MTV i felt today's topic should be: snobby rich people.

Rich people, love or loathe em they have lots of money. I must stress that this is not aimed at all rich people. Just the snobby ones. Now watching super sweet 16 on MTV i watched this family lavish this fat stuck up brat with gifts for her birthday. The party itself must have cost about £200,000 to throw and to top it all off, the rents bought this bitch a flat!! Was this brat a nice person? Is the pope a suicide bomber? Despite having the most unreal party, she still shouted and screamed at party goers to listen to her or get back inside the marquee! Get real biatch. And to top it all off, she told her parents to stop talking (bearing in mind they were saying how much they loved her) because they were taking the focus off of her! I mean there are people in this world who have so little, trust me, I've seen them. And yet, this fat stuck up bitch is screaming and crying because people aren't giving her enough attention! I've met people with nothing and they were all a lot nicer and happier than this bitch who has everything. So Rich people of the world, don't be snobby and stuck up about it, don't flash the cash about on ridiculous parties when there are people on this earth who don't have enough to buy food for the week, let alone food for 300 people and a 7 bedroom house etc etc.

Before I go I cannot stress enough that I am not an African charity worker. The problems in Africa seem distant and just on the telly, but until you go there, you will never understand where I am coming from.

Love you all
Rooster
x

To-dizzle

2009-05-23T18:11:00.000+01:00

As promised folks, today's blog is not depressing, although is jam packed full of drama nonetheless. Today's dedication goes to a special somebody. He was introduced to me as 'Jizz' hmmm pleasant. Jizzle manizzle is today's dedicatee.

Today started off completely different to any saturday morning. Drama was happening right from the moment I woke up but that's a story for a later day.

The morning itself was a tricky one. Jordy requestedf we continue our play-off series on NHL and boy did he face an uphill struggle. The mighty London Outlaws were 3-0 up in the best of 7 series against the purely inferior Atlanta Wolverines. After a 4-4 draw after OT, Jordy won the shootout. 3-1. Its all ok I thought, we'll wrap it up when we return home. Boy was I wrong, the Outlaws were blown away 6-2 and the series looked within reach of Atlanta. I bravely challenged him again, confident of a victory. An epic match ensued with leads lost, taken and goals scored left right and centre. It was 7-6 to the wolverines with 30 seconds left. I hit the post and Jordy went down the other end and scored. 8-6. 3-3 in the series!

Rooster won the decider 4-0.

Afternoon saw some general chilling about and Jordy was speaking to me after his heartbreaking playoff defeat. I played a bit of footie and showed the world (car park across the road) what Rooster is made of..not that much tbh.

Going round Thurgy's later and it should be goood ;) ;)

We finish today with Rooster's roundup :D Today's topic is stupid dog owners. Oh my goodness me. I have dogs myself and I love them to bits. But there are some dog owners out there who just go too far. They buy those crappy little dogs and parade them round in their handbags. WTF is that about? Dogs belong on leads, not inside handbags! The worst ones are the dogs that are treated like babies. They're pampered with gifts, make up and hair dos! What on earth is that about?!?! Like Mariah Carey for example, she has a chaueffuer driven limo for her shitty rat thing! COME ON!!! Dogs are friends and should be treated as such, they should not be treated like mini children. ARRRGGGH!

Apologies for the thin blog today,
love you all

Rooster
x

Tall bridge much?

2009-05-22T18:54:00.000+01:00

Howdy readers and welcome to a dark and depressing edition of Rooster's Blog. Today's dedication goes to a goalkeeping supremo and the world's favourite tramp, Jurgs!

T'was the big one today folks, Maths Core 2. The one exam I really, really did not want to fuck up. I revised long and hard for this and walked into the exam room as light as a feather. The exam I can say was going swimmingly and was 3/4's of the way through the paper with a good half an hour to spare. I was in dream land, until I turned the page to question 7. Dream land became a long distant memory as I found myself dumped onto nightmare island. Cloud 9 it was not.

The thing about it all was, I knew how to do it and yet, I hit a massive mental block. I stared long and hard and did numerous calculator calculations in a vain attempt to get the right answer but alas, no correct answer.

Ok I said, we'll move on to the next question, it'll be alright in the end. I can inform you readers, question 8 was written in japanese. Question 9 appeared to be a doddle but after conducting further research, it appears I was wrong. Bollocksh.

After failing my exam, I went home in and watched last night's Inbetweeners which cheered me up slightly. You sir are a bumder. The day ebbed and flowed from then on and I thought 'let's go for a run to get some steam out of the system'. What a great idea it was, only I did the stupid thing of timing myself. Being a former competitive athlete I thought I'd compare my time from last week. I ran 20 seconds slower and was suitably fucked off.

I write this after having had 2 burgers and a twix in a last ditch attempt to cheer myself up and am pleased to announce it is working :)

After that depressing read, lets move on to something a bit more pleasing, Rooster's Round-up where today's topic is: Media/Celebrities

Ahhh the media has brought us the joy of television, the wonder of facebook and the marvel that is Whitby's Blog. However, media has created an evil monster called the celebrity! And in honour of this monster, the media has created several magazines such as heat which follow these celebrities lives. To be quite honest I don't give a crap. Z-list actors do not require our attention and no I couldn't care less if Peache's Geldof's long lost cousin's Grandma has given her dog a ridiculous name. Nor could I care that Mel C has changed her hair colour. Heat and various other magazines are wasting their time and seek to destroy already dead 'celebrities' Rather than focusing on making z-list bad role models, why don't we make some good role models? Why are there no famous fireman (barring fireman sam)? Why does a soldier have to win a medal to be famous? Why don't we celebrate and worship the people who make a real difference to our lives, like the services and people who DESERVE our attention. What has Kim Marsh ever done to improve my life? Sweet FA.

Thanks for tuning in folks and I can assure you that tomorrow's addition will not be dark and depressing :)

Love you all
Rooster
x

Pizza+COD+Core 2= constructive interference

2009-05-21T19:44:00.001+01:00

Heeelllooo Everybody! Welcome back to Rooster's blog and thank you for returning! The more fans=the possibility of getting money from adverts! :O Wooooo! Today's blog is dedicated to a sex demon. A dear friend of mine who has a nickname. A nickname he shares with the 2nd greatest magpie of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, today's dedication goes to, Peter 'Jackie' Georgekin!!!

Today saw the arrival of the dreaded Physics exam and true to form, I was not looking forward to it! I met up with d-unit and Jez beforehand and we may or may not have got sidetracked from revision. Jez might disagree but I did not see the inclusion of any Nazi Zombie or Cod related questions in the test.

The test itself was ok. When I ok, I mean it was hard. Hard but borderline bearable, one question started talking about The London Underground. What on earth does the london underground have to do with physics. Utter bollocks.

After I got home from the travesty that was physics, I found my Grandma had left for home and was no longer there. Boring you may say, BUT, she left behind £50 to spend on takeaway! I phoned up Dad in a fit of hysteria and rushed to Milano's like a kid on sunny delight and coloured sweets. I was foaming at the mouth at the prospect of tucking into my 15" meat feast with bbq base pizza.....arrrghlll. Needless to say it was gorgeous.

Now I shall be cracking on with Core 2 revision as maths is tomorrow morning. Before the final section to the blog, I would like to say good luck to all of the leaving year 11's with your lives. Make the most of it and take everything in your stride. On a related story, my brookwood debut will have to wait for a later time.

As with yesterday, today sees the end of the blog with our favourite feature, Rooster's roundup. Today's topic is: Health and Safety

Health and safety folks. The killjoys of the modern society, stopping anything mildly exciting or remotely not dangerous from taking place. From stopping kids wearing ties, to preventing old women from climbing mountains, health and safety are ruining the world! Yet, the other day I saw Health and safety (and the government) for they really are. Backstabbing bastards. The newspaper told a story of a soldier sent to Afghanistan with out-of-date and ineffective equipment who was unfortunately killed in combat. After the deceased's family sued, the government claimed that they DID NOT have to honour human right's whilst on the battlefield. SO let me get this straight. The government don't want binmen getting hurt by lifting bags that are too heavy because its a health and safety risk; YET they willingly and knowlingly send one of our brave young men into battle to face bullets and bombs with shit protection and have the cheek to say they didn't have to! Hang about, where were health and safety here? At what point in H+S HQ were the alarm bells ringing? Binman+heavy bag= hazard, yet Brave young man+bullets+bombs+shit equipment= no response? Come on guys sort your shit out!

Wowawoooozee that was a rant and half. Tomorrow's topic is...a mystery.

Love you all
Rooster
x

Roose-What?

2009-05-20T19:14:00.000+01:00

Its that exciting time again folks, Rooster's (still sort of RAF but not really) blog! Today's dedication is a double dedication! Avid reader Sam Petters and my sister Kelly Rideout. Touch my sister and die Mr Petters ;) hahahahahahahahaha!

Today signalled my 1st day off with no exams scheduled for today. However, the electricians were in so that meant I had to stay in all day, which I can assure you readers is not my cup of tea.

The electricians (or sparkies as one plumber called them) found their tea making God in the shape of Rooster. That's right folks, he or she who wants tea should come to me- Rooster breaking it down with a lyrical attack.

Supposedly the electricians are supposed to be here for 2 weeks. 2 weeks! That's 2 weeks of racket, noise, making cups of tea and small talk with complete strangers! They're going to be tearing out my bedroom floor, the bathroom tiles and everything and anything that is harbouring electrical wires. Joy.

When the electricians leave, the decorators will be in, bringing lots of lovely peace and quiet with them :\

Tomorrow sees Rooster pit his wits against perhaps the most difficult exam known to man (sicko rhymes today) Physics. The one exam I am actually dreading. Should be lolz..... True fact, I do put the fun in fundamental frequency- a nice physics joke for you all

Being a man of the people, I asked one unsuspecting reader what he would like to see in the blog. That man was D-unit and he wanted to know my opinion on global and current affairs. So I am pleased to announce the new feature to the blog, Rooster's roundup.

Today's topic on Rooster's roundup is: Fat Kids

That's right ladies and gentleman Fat Kids. Everyday when you're walking down the street, everybody that you meet, has a porky younger sibling. I personally think it's the parents fault. I mean if you offer any child sweets or junk food, they're not going to say no are they? So when you see 3 year olds weighing 10-12 stone, something tells me that they don't visit the MaccyD's drive through every hour. They must be getting food from somewhere else. Thats right, their lazy selfish 'rents, feeding their kids shit and then wondering why their child is fat. I say we bring back max execution. Anybody who has a BMI over 29 and is under 9 years old AUTOMATICALLY gets their parents killed. Then the kids don't want to get fat because their parents die and the parents....don't want to die.

That's all for today guys, tune in tomorrow for the Physics exam update and Rooster's views on a yet to be decided topic.

Rooster
x

Tooth Team Assemble!!

2009-05-19T23:11:00.000+01:00

Hello once again to another exciting entry in Rooster's now vaguely RAF related blog (more RAF shizz as and when it comes) Today's entry is sees the first double dedicatee as the plaudits and special mention go to the Kenya Crew. I can honestly say I've never met a nicer bunch of people, adore you all. (D-unit being the double dedicatee of course)

Now that the niceties are done, lets get down to business. Today saw the arrival of the long awaited PE exam, but more importantly, the PE pre-exam breakfast! The wonderful folk in the PE department laid on a buffet of donuts, brownies, jaffa cakes and various other healthy snacks to boost examination energy levels.

With donuts in the belly I cracked on with the last minute preparation where I boldly guessed the topics of the 3 10 mark questions. I can announce to you all that I successfully guessed 2 correct :) The exam itself went pretty alright, except 2 questions in the middle of Skill Acq. that i was a bit stumped on.

Post-exam was typical of Rooster's relaxation period. Lunch+ last night's 24 and then some good ol' PS3.

The evening was the main highlight of the day with the KC meeting up at Winston School for some reminiscing. When I say reminicsing I mean talking about shit. Literally. Dan's and Mr smith's post Kenyan bowel movements were very much the topic of conversation. After Jolly's hilariously funny journal, techno wizz King Neejel failed to show us his video....but saved the day with post it notes....classic Davis.

That was more or less my day, although it ended on a sour note with the discovery that the electricians are round tomorrow to begin re-wiring the ENTIRE house. Broken walls, carpets and lots of mess and clutter. Joy

The final part of the blog sees the return of Rooster's favourite Film and TV quotes. Today's diamond is brought to you by Ron Burgundy from Anchorman:
"I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!"

Love you all

Rooster
x

Stop. Exhammer time

2009-05-18T21:25:00.001+01:00

Hello once again peeps and it's that time of the day once again. Today's update is dedicated is to the lad who let me stay the evening at his house, MR Adam Thurgood :)

After the wonderfully easy General Studies exam last week, today signalled the beginning of the nitty gritty, the hardcore A/S levels. For those of you wondering what on earth this has to do with the RAF, I can assure you now it has everything to do with the RAF. No grades, no RAF simple as pie.

The exam for today was a double header with both units of Electronics stepping onto the court. First came the paper I was dreading, Signal Processing. I was really crapping my pants on this one and even whipped out his Kenya gear to calm my nerves, that's how desperate things were beforehand. The signal processing paper was a dream an absolute dream. It seemed so straight forward, nothing untoward or evil to trip me up. I was ecstatic.

Following the Signal Processing paper, came the simple systems paper, which, contradictory to the title, was not that simple. Although more difficult than expected it too was a small bump on my smooth exam road. Hopefully this bodes well for PE tomorrow, which I am actually looking forward too. A little bit left to revise on skill acquistion but I'm basically there.

I said yesterday I would tell you all about WSO training but it'll have to wait for some other time. :)

I end with a new addition to the blog, Rooster's favourite film and TV quotes. Todays is from the wonderful TV show, The Inbetweeners. This gem is courtesy of Jay.

"Bring your wellies Neil because we're gonna be knee deep in grammar school clunge'

That concludes today's post and tomorrow we find out about my PE exam :)

Rooster
x

Pilot Training

2009-05-17T18:51:00.000+01:00

Good evening folks and thank you for returning to this enthralling edition of Rooster's RAF progress report. Today's entry is dedicated to an avid reader and a good friend of mine, Adrian Roux.

We left last time on my ending of IOT. Now after IOT I will officially be an RAF Officer which means that I can start Pilot training. Pilot training begins with 62-hours worth of flying time in the aptly named propellor plane, the Tutor. Elementary Flying Training will also include a week's theory course on how the human body reacts to the airbourne environment. Now depending on my capability, I will be streamed into fast jet, helicopter or multi-engined aircraft training.

Fast jet training lasts 21 months on 2 different planes. One is a prop plane called the Tucano and another is an actual jet fighter called the Hawk, which most of you may know as a 'Red Arrow'. On successful completion of the training, I'll be sent somewhere to train on either the Typhoon, Tornado or Harrier, all depending on my flying prowess. Presuming I get this far, the transition from training to frontline pilot will make or break my pilot dreams. This is the one stage you really do not want to fuck up. I can assure you readers that this is NOT on my to do list. Helicopter training lasts 18 months and Multi-engined training lasts 10.

After passing training I will then be an operational pilot, meaning I could be defending British Airspace, ferrying troops too and from battle zones, or being a part of search and rescue operations in the UK's mountains.

That ends the pilot training phase of the blog, tomorrow starts the Weapons Systems Officer information and it promises to be a doozy.

Keep Smiling Folks
Rooster
x

Application Forms

2009-05-16T18:43:00.000+01:00

Welcome back readers :) The Blog today is dedicated to D-Unit and the Beast in honour of the inaugral sleep over.

Today I received the promised paper application forms, as not all of the online application went through. After having a cheeky flick through the forms, the amount of information I'm giving is now staggering. Passport number, passport expiry date, NI number, driver's number, email address, home address, mum's dogs aunts postal code etc etc Now all I hope is that my info isn't stored on a disc and promptly left on the 0800 from London Waterloo or something to that effect.

Also included within the application is a drawing of a man. On this drawing I'm supposed to draw on any piercings or tatoos I have, which is all jiggery pokery. Only downside to the drawing is that some tool forgot to draw ears on and seeing as my only piercing is in my ear I'm a bit buggered. Several minutes later and a dodgy set of ears later, the drawing was complete.

Now for those of you who are not so in the know, let me all fill you in on the whole process of my plans.

First, I'm going to have an initial interview, where I'll have a fitness test. Allegedly it's a 1.5 mile run in 12:15 and 22 press ups in a minute. Easily done. Proceeding the initial interview, I will be invited to the OASB, which is the Officer and Aircrew Selection Board. This is a 4 day course where I will put through my paces. Fitness tests, aptitude tests, team building and mental ability tests all included. It also involves an hour long interview in which I will no doubt shit my pants. After a 3-week wait and several pairs of new undies, I'll find out if I've passed selection.

For the purposes of the blog I'll assume I pass. Following my pass at the OASB, I will start Initial Officer Training. Now IOT is a 30-week course that takes newbies and turns them into RAF officers. It is physically and mentally demanding and not the easiest to pass. Inspections every morning, no dust in the room, completely cleaniess is a must. The days are long and after the long day, everything must be cleaned ready for morning expection. Allegedly, 5 hours night most nights. To end the training, there will be a mock up operational exercise. The operation lasts 10 days, with a max of 3 hours sleep each night, long and gruelling days.

After I pass IOT, pilot training begins. CBA to go into pilot training at the moment and will continue tomorrow.

Peace Out Peeps,

Rooster x

Telephone Happenings

2009-05-15T17:38:00.001+01:00

Hello Everybody! Today's edition of Rooster's RAF progress report is dedicated to my blog inspiration, a GK AND an extremely good chum of mine. He cooks on calor gas and looks like a mediterranean hunk, the one and only Daniel Whitby!

Today, I began the long hard struggle to get in to the RAF. For those of you who don't know I want to be a fighter pilot, we've all seen Top Gun and we all wanted to be like Mav and Goose; you are not alone.

I've wanted to be a fighter pilot for as long as I can remember, so about 4 years then :) Failing a successful Pilot application I want to be a Weapons systems Officer (Goose) and failing that, a fighter controller, who said I always put my eggs into one basket?

Anyways, enough soppy bullcrap lets talk facts here.

I received a letter on wednesday confirming my application to the RAF and was given a phone number to ring, happy days. Today I rang said phone number and was expecting to have an interview arranged within about 5 minutes. WRONG

Allegedly, since I last spoke to the RAF, they have had a policy switch and no longer shall people be accepted on predicted grades. I've waited about 4 years for this so what's another 3 months going to hurt?

It's not all doom and gloom though, in the mean time I will be invited to a presentation on the whole RAF package, just incase I want to change my mind... I doubt that'll happen but sometimes shit happens.

For those of you who are worried that me joining the RAF may result in death or disfiguration, please do not worry :) If you are seriously worried then speak to me and I shall give you reassurances that I will not die.

That about concludes my first post and so begins my emotional journey from childhood dream to (hopefully) adulthood reality. Grab a beer and pull up a chair, we're here for the long haul.

Rooster
x

Welcome

2009-05-15T17:33:00.000+01:00

Welcome people, set up the blog to keep you all posted about how well (or not well) my RAF application is going, if I am successful I will continue the blog through training and maybe forever!