Well it's been a long time coming fam, since the day I thought of that cunning plan...anyway, enough of the #1 hits, let's get onto more pressing matters; today's blog is all about the big guy in the sky!
Well hasn't his holiness been in the news a lot this week? He saved not one, not two but thirty three Chilean miners who were trapped underground for 69 days (he was never one to shy away from innuendo was he? ;))
The Chilean president described it as a miracle and everyone's giving God a lot of thanks for keeping these guys alive. I'm sure he's feeling pleased with his efforts, he's kicking back, perusing the world news, pointing out stories to his wife saying "Look wife, I did this"
Sadly for the magic sky man, I'm not being fooled by his dirty tricks. We're all praising him for his mining miracle, but I'm pretty sure he's the one who trapped them in the first place? I won't lie, it looks like God has that psychological disorder 'Hero Syndrome'. Which basically causes people (or in this case higher beings) to cause situations which require a hero....and then do the saving themselves. I.e. setting a house on fire and running into rescue people.
I see this as nothing but a desperate cry of attention from the Father. The last decade there's not been much good news; 9/11, boxing day tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the credit crunch, Gordon Brown becoming prime minister, all terrible things. This leads me to conclude that God hasn't been paying much attention to his little planet, like the goldfish that we all forget to feed, the big man has plain and simply forgot about us.
With the string of bad things occurring, people began losing their faith and after his chosen human minions (the pope and his priest buddies) decided that kids were fair game, his ratings were lower than 'Leon Jackson's tour of Milton Keynes'.
So with the low ratings, he needed to big himself up again and KAZAMMM, he traps 33 miners in a mine. He leaves them on their todd for 17 days before deciding they should be found. Things ebbed and flowed for a bit, he kept them alive bla bla bla and pulled them out. Hooray for God! God's the man! WROOOONNNG. God's an egotistical fella who needed a wee bit of attention; and we're lapping it up. The Earth is very much God's dog, no matter how long you leave it, it'll be happy to see you when you reappear.
Now remember that folks! And finally, God is also a sadistic bastard. Look at him, relentlessly mocking Liverpool, sending them to 2nd in the Premier League before striking them down to the lower echelons of the league. He even made his own mini drama with the takeover, will they, won't they, before finally selling them, giving Liverpool fans hope, before crushing the hope with a humiliating defeat to their local rivals.
The man in the sky has the power to do great good and great evil. He is a sadist, an egotist, God is a kid on an ant hill with a magnifying glass, but if there is one thing he is not; God is not a scouser.
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
First Impressions
Well folks, if the selection to be an Army Officer was decided on first impressions, I'd've definitely been chucked in the gutter after my visit to 'see' my ACA yesterday.
Interview for 10am, arrive at 9:40, well on time, smartly dressed, shiny shoes, shiny mind. "Good start" was the thought buzzing through my head; I sat down and waited for the impending interview with the Colonel when the Sgt comes to me and says "Are you Chris Rousell?"
"Yes I am"
"Well Chris, it appears you've turned up for your interview at the wrong careers office..."
"I beg your pardon!"
"I've just got off the phone with the Colonel and your interview is not being held here, but in the barracks about a mile and a half down the road"
"But this is the Army Careers Office? The LCpl on the phone said it was being held here"
"Your letter states otherwise" and he digs out a photcopy of my letter which does indeed indicate my interview was being held elsewhere...
Deep Joy. So off I sprint out of the careers office and gear up (that's right, I rode a motorbike to the interview) and pelt it towards the alternative destination, it's 10:10 now and I am well and truly crapping myself. I follow the directions given to me by the very smug Sgt (who seemed all to happy to point and laugh at the Officer wannabe who couldn't read a map) and abandon my Honda in the car park. With the motorcycle gear hastily fastened to the bike, I grab my documents and proceed to sprint down the road in accordance with the Sgt's directions and wait to see a sign saying X House. A mile and half's worth of running in full suit (which took about 10 minutes) and I'm yet to see a sign indicating the building of my interview....
It's now 10:30 and I'm sweating more than a pregnant nun. I whip out the mobile and went to call the Colonel, in an attempt to explain the situation. Full battery, full signal; my Army dreams could yet be alive. I dial the number....nothing, look at the phone and low and behold it's dead, as alive as a Northumbrian fugitive.
Admitting defeat at 10:40, I trudge back to the bike to find out the car park is infact a pay and display and yes, that means motorbike's too. That's £25 and an hour of my life I'll never get back then.
Luckily, after a profusely apologetic phonecall, the interview has been rescheduelled for a month's time, not the ideal way to start your Army Officer application....
And. after all that effort, I still hadn't spoken this mythical Colonel, is it a man/woman/wildebeest?
I found that out today, I went to visit the Colonel to apologise for yesterday's events, turns out he's a rather nice chap!
Interview for 10am, arrive at 9:40, well on time, smartly dressed, shiny shoes, shiny mind. "Good start" was the thought buzzing through my head; I sat down and waited for the impending interview with the Colonel when the Sgt comes to me and says "Are you Chris Rousell?"
"Yes I am"
"Well Chris, it appears you've turned up for your interview at the wrong careers office..."
"I beg your pardon!"
"I've just got off the phone with the Colonel and your interview is not being held here, but in the barracks about a mile and a half down the road"
"But this is the Army Careers Office? The LCpl on the phone said it was being held here"
"Your letter states otherwise" and he digs out a photcopy of my letter which does indeed indicate my interview was being held elsewhere...
Deep Joy. So off I sprint out of the careers office and gear up (that's right, I rode a motorbike to the interview) and pelt it towards the alternative destination, it's 10:10 now and I am well and truly crapping myself. I follow the directions given to me by the very smug Sgt (who seemed all to happy to point and laugh at the Officer wannabe who couldn't read a map) and abandon my Honda in the car park. With the motorcycle gear hastily fastened to the bike, I grab my documents and proceed to sprint down the road in accordance with the Sgt's directions and wait to see a sign saying X House. A mile and half's worth of running in full suit (which took about 10 minutes) and I'm yet to see a sign indicating the building of my interview....
It's now 10:30 and I'm sweating more than a pregnant nun. I whip out the mobile and went to call the Colonel, in an attempt to explain the situation. Full battery, full signal; my Army dreams could yet be alive. I dial the number....nothing, look at the phone and low and behold it's dead, as alive as a Northumbrian fugitive.
Admitting defeat at 10:40, I trudge back to the bike to find out the car park is infact a pay and display and yes, that means motorbike's too. That's £25 and an hour of my life I'll never get back then.
Luckily, after a profusely apologetic phonecall, the interview has been rescheduelled for a month's time, not the ideal way to start your Army Officer application....
And. after all that effort, I still hadn't spoken this mythical Colonel, is it a man/woman/wildebeest?
I found that out today, I went to visit the Colonel to apologise for yesterday's events, turns out he's a rather nice chap!
Sunday, 27 June 2010
World Cup Woes
It's been 7 months and 2 day since I last posted (hands up who's been counting?) but as pointed out to me by a certain Mitchell Sutton, blogging is good for the soul.
Well folks, where do I start? England....wow
Every 4 years the nation gets into world cup fever; the sense of pride, anticipation and the thought that this WILL be England's year. Cup, after cup, after cup we hear it, "this is our year!!!" I think it's time as England fans to sit back and realise it will never be our year.
There's a reason we haven't won the world cup in 44 years- we're not very good. I agree, we've got some very good players; the likes of Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard are certainly no mugs but, as the 'qualified' match pundits will tell you, they never seem to deliver for England. You may find yourself asking the same question, so reader, I'll tell you.
For Manchester Utd, Rooney plays upfront alone (and has also publically stated he prefers it this way) yet for England he plays with a lacklustre strike partner; Emile Heskey, Jermaine Defoe et al who seem to get more of the ball than Wayne. His mediocre partner receives the ball, loses possession and with it, a chance for Rooney to deliver.
For Liverpool, Gerrard plays just behind the LONE striker, getting many assists and a fair few goals. For England he plays on the left wing, the left sodding wing. Why on earth would you leave one of England's lynchpins to waste away on the left? Gerrard ran the show against the USA from his advanced centre midfield position and since then, has had a reasonably quiet tournament; you do the math folks, you do the math.
As for Lampard, being partnered with Barry severely restricts his attacking roles. If Barry goes forwards, Lampard MUST stay back. If Lampard attacks and Barry joins in, we're left with a gaping hole down the middle, leaving our defence overly exposed; the Germans exploited this brilliantly today. (sounds awfully similar to the Gerrard/Lampard problem of old)
Now enough of the general problems, let's look at today's game....where on earth were the England defence? For the first goal, Terry and Upson allowed Klose to slip through; for the last 3, they weren't even in sight. Watch Podolski's goal again and you'll see Upson on the touch line and Terry occupying no-man's land i.e. no man would dream of standing in such a dimwitted position.
I don't care if he scored today, Matt (chin)Upson was simply dreadful; he was picked over Jamie Carragher (a champions league winner, an experienced international) because Upson played well against...Slovenia. Carragher played rather well against the US and Algeria but didn't get a look in; a poor decision from Capello.
As for Glen Johnson, he spent the large majority of his time filling in for the non-existant Upson and hence, was way out of position for the 2nd goal. Caught upfield with Terry and Upson, seemed to lack the desire to do his country's bidding.
Ashley Cole was the only England defender I would say had a game which wasn't terrible. The poor lad was caught 3 on 1 for both Muller's goals through no fault of his own, shame.
Why didn't Capello go with a tried and trusted back four? Why not put Johnson with his Liverpool CB Carragher and Cole with his Chelsea colleague Terry? Or is that too logical for our Italian mastermind?
Continuing the rant; Capello's handling of the Rob Green situation was atrocious. Rob Green made one, ONE mistake and he is dropped, without hesitation. The only thing I've seen dropped quicker is the ball that Green himself tried to stop...
But what kind of message does this send to him? One mistake and you're cast away to the unknown? He made a quality save against the US but that seemed to be forgotten. Upson was far from perfect against Slovenia, barring one sliding tackle yet he remained (and quite wrongly) in position; on Capello's logic, he should've been chucked.
Green was solid, assured and confident in the qualifiers, so why not put faith in your No.1 rather than tossing him into the waste bin for David James. The irony, the bloody irony. David James' England career has been riddled with more mistakes than a dyslexic trying to spell onomatopoeia. OK, James had a good world cup, but who's to say Rob Green wouldn't've?
This world cup has been a massive reality check for our 'golden' generation, it's time for them to work for victories, not expect them to happen just because they are England; the days of England being a dominant international side are sadly over.
Capello does have a lot of changes left to do. Why he insisted on 4-4-2 with Gerrard on the left is beyond me. Remember when we tore Croatia a new one in their back yard? Playing 4-5-1 with Rooney on his own and two pacey wingers? Surely it's time for that formation to make a return; it is after all the system the large majority of our players play. If 4-4-2 was outdated when Mike Bassett was England manager, how old is it 8 years later?
So to sum up:
Play Rooney upfront on his own, Gerrard just behind him, like they do week in week out.
ALWAYS play defenders who've played together many a time, not a West Ham player who played well against league-1 standard opposition
Back your Keeper.
English lessons please.
Love you all
Rooster
x
Well folks, where do I start? England....wow
Every 4 years the nation gets into world cup fever; the sense of pride, anticipation and the thought that this WILL be England's year. Cup, after cup, after cup we hear it, "this is our year!!!" I think it's time as England fans to sit back and realise it will never be our year.
There's a reason we haven't won the world cup in 44 years- we're not very good. I agree, we've got some very good players; the likes of Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard are certainly no mugs but, as the 'qualified' match pundits will tell you, they never seem to deliver for England. You may find yourself asking the same question, so reader, I'll tell you.
For Manchester Utd, Rooney plays upfront alone (and has also publically stated he prefers it this way) yet for England he plays with a lacklustre strike partner; Emile Heskey, Jermaine Defoe et al who seem to get more of the ball than Wayne. His mediocre partner receives the ball, loses possession and with it, a chance for Rooney to deliver.
For Liverpool, Gerrard plays just behind the LONE striker, getting many assists and a fair few goals. For England he plays on the left wing, the left sodding wing. Why on earth would you leave one of England's lynchpins to waste away on the left? Gerrard ran the show against the USA from his advanced centre midfield position and since then, has had a reasonably quiet tournament; you do the math folks, you do the math.
As for Lampard, being partnered with Barry severely restricts his attacking roles. If Barry goes forwards, Lampard MUST stay back. If Lampard attacks and Barry joins in, we're left with a gaping hole down the middle, leaving our defence overly exposed; the Germans exploited this brilliantly today. (sounds awfully similar to the Gerrard/Lampard problem of old)
Now enough of the general problems, let's look at today's game....where on earth were the England defence? For the first goal, Terry and Upson allowed Klose to slip through; for the last 3, they weren't even in sight. Watch Podolski's goal again and you'll see Upson on the touch line and Terry occupying no-man's land i.e. no man would dream of standing in such a dimwitted position.
I don't care if he scored today, Matt (chin)Upson was simply dreadful; he was picked over Jamie Carragher (a champions league winner, an experienced international) because Upson played well against...Slovenia. Carragher played rather well against the US and Algeria but didn't get a look in; a poor decision from Capello.
As for Glen Johnson, he spent the large majority of his time filling in for the non-existant Upson and hence, was way out of position for the 2nd goal. Caught upfield with Terry and Upson, seemed to lack the desire to do his country's bidding.
Ashley Cole was the only England defender I would say had a game which wasn't terrible. The poor lad was caught 3 on 1 for both Muller's goals through no fault of his own, shame.
Why didn't Capello go with a tried and trusted back four? Why not put Johnson with his Liverpool CB Carragher and Cole with his Chelsea colleague Terry? Or is that too logical for our Italian mastermind?
Continuing the rant; Capello's handling of the Rob Green situation was atrocious. Rob Green made one, ONE mistake and he is dropped, without hesitation. The only thing I've seen dropped quicker is the ball that Green himself tried to stop...
But what kind of message does this send to him? One mistake and you're cast away to the unknown? He made a quality save against the US but that seemed to be forgotten. Upson was far from perfect against Slovenia, barring one sliding tackle yet he remained (and quite wrongly) in position; on Capello's logic, he should've been chucked.
Green was solid, assured and confident in the qualifiers, so why not put faith in your No.1 rather than tossing him into the waste bin for David James. The irony, the bloody irony. David James' England career has been riddled with more mistakes than a dyslexic trying to spell onomatopoeia. OK, James had a good world cup, but who's to say Rob Green wouldn't've?
This world cup has been a massive reality check for our 'golden' generation, it's time for them to work for victories, not expect them to happen just because they are England; the days of England being a dominant international side are sadly over.
Capello does have a lot of changes left to do. Why he insisted on 4-4-2 with Gerrard on the left is beyond me. Remember when we tore Croatia a new one in their back yard? Playing 4-5-1 with Rooney on his own and two pacey wingers? Surely it's time for that formation to make a return; it is after all the system the large majority of our players play. If 4-4-2 was outdated when Mike Bassett was England manager, how old is it 8 years later?
So to sum up:
Play Rooney upfront on his own, Gerrard just behind him, like they do week in week out.
ALWAYS play defenders who've played together many a time, not a West Ham player who played well against league-1 standard opposition
Back your Keeper.
English lessons please.
Love you all
Rooster
x
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
T Minus 1 Month
Hello, Hello, hello wonderful people and let me inform you all the long awaited return of Rooster's Marvellous Blog is b-a-c-k (which spells the word back for the dumb/lazy reader) Today's dedications go to the lads, they know who they are.
Well it's been 20 days since my last post and a load of crap has happened since then! COD 6 released, Assasin's Creed II, released, Jez went to his first football match and I've started a new fitness class.
Well the major points need to be rounded up. CoD 6 and ACII are epically good. Jez's first football match was Woking V St Albans, which Woking lost 1-0. It was perhaps the worst game of football ever. What made us really bitter was the fact that last weekend Woking beat St Albans 6-0.... We couldn't help but feel hard done by.
Today was an average day in Roosterland. PE came and went by, as did Maths; although we learnt that in our next PE lesson we shall be playing lacrosse...potential fun times methinks. Anyways, lunch appeared and the conversation was flowed as usual. The lads, Safa and myself had a wonderfully long chat about balls, cereal and general tings. The concept of the "Monoball" was discovered and laughs ensued. The best part of lunch was the retrieval of the Sacred Bin. For those of you unaware, since returning to college from the summer, the bin next to our bench was sadly moved to a distance further away, meaning one person each lunch has to undertake a bin run. Being lazy students we weren't happy. However, Jez and myself rectified this injustice and restored the bin to it's rightful position, receiving mild applause from the innocent bystanders.
"Chris, what time is it?" "Hamm..errr, Round-Up Time!" Hell yeah folks, today's topic is: Rafael Benitez.
Well I've been adamant for a long time that Rafa has been the man to bring the League back to Anfield. I've stuck with him through thick and thin but finally, last night, I've lost my patience. After watching one of the most unconvicing wins in Liverpool's history I couldn't help but feel that Rafa is sadly not up to the standard required. I've given him time, I'd've followed him to the end of the earth but now, I'm afraid he's just got to go. His decision making last night, and throughout all the season incidentally, was woeful. Brining Aquillani on for the last 30 seconds? That was a decision well worth making. Rafa's downfall began last season when he tried to sell Alonso to fund a move for Gareth Barry. Who in their right mind would do such a thing?!?! This subsequently alienated Xabi and he no longer wanted to remain at the club. Then, this summer, his spending has been somewhat questionable. Spending £18mill on a defender (bearing in mind we had the best defence in the league last year) when we clearly need some depth up top was a stupid move. Not only that, the addition of Johnson has undoubtedly unbalanced the defence as he bombards forward, meaning Carragher is resigned to covering for him, a problem we never had with the tentative Arbeloa. Finally, he's run poor Fernando Torres into the ground. The poor lad's severely injured and Rafa's still playing him just to save his own face, a desperate move from a desperate man. I'm sorry Rafa, I respect you but your time is now up.
Hell Yeah I'm back!
I leave you all not with a riddle, but a dilemna (much like the ones I could be facing at OASC) and it goes a little like this:
You are the head of a RAF rescue team. You are happily watching the Battle of Britain and swapping friendly banter when the phone rings. You are informed that a group of 6 people have come into difficulties in a nearby cave system. The caller is one of the 6 people stuck in the cave and describes the situation.
The 6 recreational cavers have become trapped in a small section of the cave network and the water is rising. There is no chance of escape with the equipment they have and the nearby RAF rescue team is the only hope of survival for the group. They estimate that within an hour there will be no room left to breathe in the section of the cave they are in. It soon becomes clear that you cannot rescue the entire team of cavers in time – you estimate 4 can be saved and there may be time for the 5th person. The sixth has little chance of survival. You have managed to get some background information on the 6 people in the cave. You must make a decision on the order of rescue.
The cave system is 20 minutes drive away but your equipment and is ready to leave now. It is 16.00 and you must leave now. At 16.20 when you arrive at the cave you will have 40 minutes left and must have a plan for the order of rescue.
Information on the 6 cavers:
Stacy Catterick – works as an accountant from Cranditz and is a married mother of two and is 36 years of age. She has no caving experience and has come on the trip with a friend – Alan Boulmer. It has recently become known to the caving group that Stacy and Alan are having an affair. Stacy has a medical history of suffering from panic attacks.
Paul Leeming – Paul is a 49 year old plumber from the Odiham area. He served 23 years in the British Army before being discharged with depression. Paul had a vast amount of caving experience and was on the British Army Mountain Rescue team. Paul has not been caving recently after a recent phase of depression.
Owen Bovington – Owen is a 49 year old priest who works in the Aldergrove area. He has no caving experience whatsoever and has recently joined the caving club to meet more people. This is Owens first time in a cave.
Sarah Brize – a 46 year old married mother of 4 from Marham in the area of “sixfingerville”. Sarah has no caving experience and has already suffered a broken arm in the cave as the waters rose.
Joe Kinloss – Joe is a 59 year old man with some caving experience. He is a managing director for a large company in Leuchars that employs around 600 people in three factories. Joe is not particularly physically fit and this was his reason for joining the caving group – as well as to make new friends.
Alan Boulmer – Alan is a 37 year old scientist from Ireland and has previous caving experience and is the leader of this team. He works with young disabled children part time and has been working with a company searching for a cure for cancer. They have recently had a breakthrough and think they are on the way to finding a cure for lung cancer. Alan is the leading mind in the breakthrough.
Well it's been 20 days since my last post and a load of crap has happened since then! COD 6 released, Assasin's Creed II, released, Jez went to his first football match and I've started a new fitness class.
Well the major points need to be rounded up. CoD 6 and ACII are epically good. Jez's first football match was Woking V St Albans, which Woking lost 1-0. It was perhaps the worst game of football ever. What made us really bitter was the fact that last weekend Woking beat St Albans 6-0.... We couldn't help but feel hard done by.
Today was an average day in Roosterland. PE came and went by, as did Maths; although we learnt that in our next PE lesson we shall be playing lacrosse...potential fun times methinks. Anyways, lunch appeared and the conversation was flowed as usual. The lads, Safa and myself had a wonderfully long chat about balls, cereal and general tings. The concept of the "Monoball" was discovered and laughs ensued. The best part of lunch was the retrieval of the Sacred Bin. For those of you unaware, since returning to college from the summer, the bin next to our bench was sadly moved to a distance further away, meaning one person each lunch has to undertake a bin run. Being lazy students we weren't happy. However, Jez and myself rectified this injustice and restored the bin to it's rightful position, receiving mild applause from the innocent bystanders.
"Chris, what time is it?" "Hamm..errr, Round-Up Time!" Hell yeah folks, today's topic is: Rafael Benitez.
Well I've been adamant for a long time that Rafa has been the man to bring the League back to Anfield. I've stuck with him through thick and thin but finally, last night, I've lost my patience. After watching one of the most unconvicing wins in Liverpool's history I couldn't help but feel that Rafa is sadly not up to the standard required. I've given him time, I'd've followed him to the end of the earth but now, I'm afraid he's just got to go. His decision making last night, and throughout all the season incidentally, was woeful. Brining Aquillani on for the last 30 seconds? That was a decision well worth making. Rafa's downfall began last season when he tried to sell Alonso to fund a move for Gareth Barry. Who in their right mind would do such a thing?!?! This subsequently alienated Xabi and he no longer wanted to remain at the club. Then, this summer, his spending has been somewhat questionable. Spending £18mill on a defender (bearing in mind we had the best defence in the league last year) when we clearly need some depth up top was a stupid move. Not only that, the addition of Johnson has undoubtedly unbalanced the defence as he bombards forward, meaning Carragher is resigned to covering for him, a problem we never had with the tentative Arbeloa. Finally, he's run poor Fernando Torres into the ground. The poor lad's severely injured and Rafa's still playing him just to save his own face, a desperate move from a desperate man. I'm sorry Rafa, I respect you but your time is now up.
Hell Yeah I'm back!
I leave you all not with a riddle, but a dilemna (much like the ones I could be facing at OASC) and it goes a little like this:
You are the head of a RAF rescue team. You are happily watching the Battle of Britain and swapping friendly banter when the phone rings. You are informed that a group of 6 people have come into difficulties in a nearby cave system. The caller is one of the 6 people stuck in the cave and describes the situation.
The 6 recreational cavers have become trapped in a small section of the cave network and the water is rising. There is no chance of escape with the equipment they have and the nearby RAF rescue team is the only hope of survival for the group. They estimate that within an hour there will be no room left to breathe in the section of the cave they are in. It soon becomes clear that you cannot rescue the entire team of cavers in time – you estimate 4 can be saved and there may be time for the 5th person. The sixth has little chance of survival. You have managed to get some background information on the 6 people in the cave. You must make a decision on the order of rescue.
The cave system is 20 minutes drive away but your equipment and is ready to leave now. It is 16.00 and you must leave now. At 16.20 when you arrive at the cave you will have 40 minutes left and must have a plan for the order of rescue.
Information on the 6 cavers:
Stacy Catterick – works as an accountant from Cranditz and is a married mother of two and is 36 years of age. She has no caving experience and has come on the trip with a friend – Alan Boulmer. It has recently become known to the caving group that Stacy and Alan are having an affair. Stacy has a medical history of suffering from panic attacks.
Paul Leeming – Paul is a 49 year old plumber from the Odiham area. He served 23 years in the British Army before being discharged with depression. Paul had a vast amount of caving experience and was on the British Army Mountain Rescue team. Paul has not been caving recently after a recent phase of depression.
Owen Bovington – Owen is a 49 year old priest who works in the Aldergrove area. He has no caving experience whatsoever and has recently joined the caving club to meet more people. This is Owens first time in a cave.
Sarah Brize – a 46 year old married mother of 4 from Marham in the area of “sixfingerville”. Sarah has no caving experience and has already suffered a broken arm in the cave as the waters rose.
Joe Kinloss – Joe is a 59 year old man with some caving experience. He is a managing director for a large company in Leuchars that employs around 600 people in three factories. Joe is not particularly physically fit and this was his reason for joining the caving group – as well as to make new friends.
Alan Boulmer – Alan is a 37 year old scientist from Ireland and has previous caving experience and is the leader of this team. He works with young disabled children part time and has been working with a company searching for a cure for cancer. They have recently had a breakthrough and think they are on the way to finding a cure for lung cancer. Alan is the leading mind in the breakthrough.
Thursday, 5 November 2009
My Lunch
Hello folks and let me welcome you yet again to the blog that's taking the internet by storm, Rooster's Marvellous Blog! Today's dedication goes to a top notch fella, Daniel Whitby!
The day started off with a cheeky bit of CSLA. After being introduced to risk assessments by the ever lovely Carly, we spent half an hour walking about the PE department's facilites looking for health and safety hazards. I was shocked to find that a bench was partially blocking a fire exit! Thank goodness I stepped in or else we all would've died! We then invented the next Olympic sport, which is yet to be named. I'm thing something along the lines of frizla! But anyway, it's a fusion of ultimate frisbee and hoopla and it really has the potential to become the best sport....EVER!
Then rolled THE mother of all frees, the chums thursday free! As ever, many things got done, Dave did his homework, Jez sorted out some MedSoc crap and I did nothing. We then played the Wikipedia game and Jez won 6-4-3, fun stuff. I then bowled over to shades and had a gorgeous bacon, sausage and omlette sub...heaven in a bun!
I also had a little catch up with Dan about Liverpool. How heartbreaking was last night? I'd been saying all night long that Babel should be on instead of Voronin (who is such a poor excuse for a footballer) and then Rafa sends Babel on and he scores a worldie! I was over the moon! It's odd though. Liverpool's strength last year was their defence. We've essentially kept the same back four as last year (Arbeloa out, Johnson in) and now we're as good at the back as Gary Neville is attractive, just not at all! New greek defender whose name I won't even attempt spelling is absolutely woeful and it's a pity to see my beloved Liverpool in such dire need of direction! People say we're a 2 person team but that's just not true. We had 5 first team starters out injured and Torres playing at about 60% fitness. Any club who is missing 5 first team regulars is going to struggle. Leave off Liverpool, I have faith we'll turn it around.
Well now that's over, let's bimble on to Rooster's Round Up! The topic (as mentioned yesterday) is: clothing.
And not just any clothing, I'm talking about the clothing that 12/13 year olds wear. I mean they're barely old enough to speak properly and they're all dressing like a bunch of dirty cheap hussies and it's sickening. Why are girls this young dressing this provocatively? The large majority of people in this world don't want to see some 12 year old belly hanging out or an 11 year old in hot pants, it's just not right! I mean that's the sort of stuff prostitutes wear and I'm thinking, are some of the paedophiles in this country just confused rapists? I mean just last year, this girl added me on msn. We got talking about exams and stuff and she said 'i'm doing my exams next year' she looked about 16 so it was all going ok until she asked me how old I was. I said 16... she was 13 OMFG. Why the hell would she say she was doing exams next year?!?! I felt so dirty, so unclean that I'd been chatting to a 13 year old girl. It was perhaps the worst experience of my life but it just goes to show, girls that age shouldn't dress so suggestively because they could land themselves in situations that they may not want to be in. Young girls, please, please put it away.
The last riddle was solved 1st by George! The answer: the sentence has each of the letters of the alphabet in it!
Rooster's riddle for today:
'What lives on it's own substance, but dies as soon as it devours itself?'
Love you all
Rooster
x
The day started off with a cheeky bit of CSLA. After being introduced to risk assessments by the ever lovely Carly, we spent half an hour walking about the PE department's facilites looking for health and safety hazards. I was shocked to find that a bench was partially blocking a fire exit! Thank goodness I stepped in or else we all would've died! We then invented the next Olympic sport, which is yet to be named. I'm thing something along the lines of frizla! But anyway, it's a fusion of ultimate frisbee and hoopla and it really has the potential to become the best sport....EVER!
Then rolled THE mother of all frees, the chums thursday free! As ever, many things got done, Dave did his homework, Jez sorted out some MedSoc crap and I did nothing. We then played the Wikipedia game and Jez won 6-4-3, fun stuff. I then bowled over to shades and had a gorgeous bacon, sausage and omlette sub...heaven in a bun!
I also had a little catch up with Dan about Liverpool. How heartbreaking was last night? I'd been saying all night long that Babel should be on instead of Voronin (who is such a poor excuse for a footballer) and then Rafa sends Babel on and he scores a worldie! I was over the moon! It's odd though. Liverpool's strength last year was their defence. We've essentially kept the same back four as last year (Arbeloa out, Johnson in) and now we're as good at the back as Gary Neville is attractive, just not at all! New greek defender whose name I won't even attempt spelling is absolutely woeful and it's a pity to see my beloved Liverpool in such dire need of direction! People say we're a 2 person team but that's just not true. We had 5 first team starters out injured and Torres playing at about 60% fitness. Any club who is missing 5 first team regulars is going to struggle. Leave off Liverpool, I have faith we'll turn it around.
Well now that's over, let's bimble on to Rooster's Round Up! The topic (as mentioned yesterday) is: clothing.
And not just any clothing, I'm talking about the clothing that 12/13 year olds wear. I mean they're barely old enough to speak properly and they're all dressing like a bunch of dirty cheap hussies and it's sickening. Why are girls this young dressing this provocatively? The large majority of people in this world don't want to see some 12 year old belly hanging out or an 11 year old in hot pants, it's just not right! I mean that's the sort of stuff prostitutes wear and I'm thinking, are some of the paedophiles in this country just confused rapists? I mean just last year, this girl added me on msn. We got talking about exams and stuff and she said 'i'm doing my exams next year' she looked about 16 so it was all going ok until she asked me how old I was. I said 16... she was 13 OMFG. Why the hell would she say she was doing exams next year?!?! I felt so dirty, so unclean that I'd been chatting to a 13 year old girl. It was perhaps the worst experience of my life but it just goes to show, girls that age shouldn't dress so suggestively because they could land themselves in situations that they may not want to be in. Young girls, please, please put it away.
The last riddle was solved 1st by George! The answer: the sentence has each of the letters of the alphabet in it!
Rooster's riddle for today:
'What lives on it's own substance, but dies as soon as it devours itself?'
Love you all
Rooster
x
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Wiki Wiki, I'm getting sticky.
Hello ladies and gents and let me express my thanks and extend a warm welcome to you for joining us here at Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Today's dedication goes to Mr Zac Guy! It does not go to Lewis Peters because he mocked Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Nobody likes a hater.
Like most Wednesday, today started with an hour and a half dose of PE. PE was without doubt my favourite subject last year and it's remained in that position this year. We spent the large majority of the time discussing many things, ranging from fat people, the NHS, Derren Brown and solutions to the shortage of troops in Afghanistan. As ever, we all had a good laugh and a joke at some of the comments flying about. Laurie suggested we deny fat people healthcare in an attempt to make them lose weight. I decided that to combat prison overcrowding, we take all of the murderers in prison, give them some kit and shift them off to Afghanistan. They've killed before so that definitely saves money on training them to kill! Even better, let's send some East End gangs out there! Rather than having the Marines hold down Kajaki, how about we let the East End massive assault the Taliban? That'd be a lot more exciting!
Speaking of Taliban/terrorists, there was a news story flying about that a bear killed 2 terrorists in Kashmir! Is this not perhaps the BEST idea ever? Training a load of killer bears to search for terrorists hiding in caves! Would Osama Bin Laden be hiding in a cave if he knew there was a bear going to eat him! You can imagine the news: 'Osama mauled by bear!' How awesome would that be?!?
My goodness I got a little sidetracked. Maths was Maths. Afterwards, lunch appeared and Dave had to tell his girlfriend she's hairy enough....fun times! Lunch came and went, so Zac, Dan and myself bowled to JG block and played a bit of tanks and some cheeky wikipedia game, nice times.
Well after that mid-blog rant, I feel we hold off Rooster's Round Up today, however, tomorrow's topic will be: clothing.
Rooster's Riddle remains unsolved so that will be continued for one more day!
'Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.'
Love you all
Rooster
x
Like most Wednesday, today started with an hour and a half dose of PE. PE was without doubt my favourite subject last year and it's remained in that position this year. We spent the large majority of the time discussing many things, ranging from fat people, the NHS, Derren Brown and solutions to the shortage of troops in Afghanistan. As ever, we all had a good laugh and a joke at some of the comments flying about. Laurie suggested we deny fat people healthcare in an attempt to make them lose weight. I decided that to combat prison overcrowding, we take all of the murderers in prison, give them some kit and shift them off to Afghanistan. They've killed before so that definitely saves money on training them to kill! Even better, let's send some East End gangs out there! Rather than having the Marines hold down Kajaki, how about we let the East End massive assault the Taliban? That'd be a lot more exciting!
Speaking of Taliban/terrorists, there was a news story flying about that a bear killed 2 terrorists in Kashmir! Is this not perhaps the BEST idea ever? Training a load of killer bears to search for terrorists hiding in caves! Would Osama Bin Laden be hiding in a cave if he knew there was a bear going to eat him! You can imagine the news: 'Osama mauled by bear!' How awesome would that be?!?
My goodness I got a little sidetracked. Maths was Maths. Afterwards, lunch appeared and Dave had to tell his girlfriend she's hairy enough....fun times! Lunch came and went, so Zac, Dan and myself bowled to JG block and played a bit of tanks and some cheeky wikipedia game, nice times.
Well after that mid-blog rant, I feel we hold off Rooster's Round Up today, however, tomorrow's topic will be: clothing.
Rooster's Riddle remains unsolved so that will be continued for one more day!
'Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.'
Love you all
Rooster
x
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
Dedication Day!
Hello folks! Nice to see you, to see you return back to reading Rooster's Marvellous Blog. Well there's 3 deserving recipients of today's dedications! The 1st is clearing up a mistake. Daniel Marshall passed his driving test ladies and lads and that is dedication worthy! The 2nd is a surprise for an unsuspecting reader. After featuring in the previous 2 blogs, Sam Howes is receiving a dedication!! And finally, Jez is taking his BMAT tomorrow and his dedication is one of luck and hopefully success!
Well after that long-winded start lets roll on with the blog? After realising I hadn't done my maths homework over the half term, I stayed up till 2:30 monday morning doing it. It was tiring but that'll teach me for not doing work! The annoying thing about that incident was the fact that the maths homework was never taken in, what a waste that was!?!?!
Today was my wonderful Tuesday with 3 frees! I did the standard activities, Scrubs, PS3, Press-Ups, Physics. Speaking of Physics, I have now decided the title of my practical investigation: 'What is the best make shift Parachute?' Without wanting to sound like a nerd, I'm actually looking forward to it! Physics came and passed and after college, Dave came over for a cheeky bit of PS3. The world saw witness to perhaps the most unexciting games ever! Although, one game finished 0-0 AET and i won 12-11 on penalties (only one penno saved) But I was surprised to see that Butt, the B. Munich goalkeeper has a 90 penalty rating, impressive!
As we speak, Manchester United are losing 3-1 at home to CSKA Moscow. Go Moscow Go!!!!
It's that time again folks! No no no, not that time of the month, just time for....Rooster's Roundup! Today's topic is: Daylight Savings
"The clocks go back tonight, an extra hour in bed!" is the common cry! Well let me tell you folks, I hate daylight savings. Who gives a crap if you get an extra hour in bed, it happens at the weekend, you get as long as you bleeding like in bed, why need an extra hour? For the people who work at the weekend, it creates a dilemna in which you forget to put your clock back and arrive to work an hour late? Why do we run this risk? So it's lighter in the morning? Well let me tell you folks, I like it being dark in the mornings, I like it getting brighter as the day goes on, not darker. What is more miserable than getting home at 4:30 and then realising it's dark outside? How depressing is that?
But let's get down to the fundamentals, why are the government deciding what the time is? Since when did they control time? My lord, they could easily turn the clock's back 2, 3 hours if they wanted, time is incontrollable! And think about the poor folks who work overnight, having to work an extra hour, just so kids don't walk to school in the dark? How would that work for the police? A serious crime is committed at 1:30am...but which one? Seeing as the government decided to move back time, at what time did the event occur? It creates unneccessary hassle and it also means we eventually sacrifice an hour in bed, WTF!?! I like it dark in the morning, I want the day to stay as bright as it can, for as long as it can! Winter is only so dark and depressing because the nights draw in so early. Lets spruce it up a bit, make everyone less depressed! Scandinavia has the highest suicide rate of any country, because it's so dark all the time. Why intentionally make ourselves more prone to murdering ourselves? Think of the children!?!
Well the last riddle was solved by many, but it was solved 1st by Lara Crowe!!
Rooster's riddle for today: 'Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.'
Love you all
Rooster
x
Well after that long-winded start lets roll on with the blog? After realising I hadn't done my maths homework over the half term, I stayed up till 2:30 monday morning doing it. It was tiring but that'll teach me for not doing work! The annoying thing about that incident was the fact that the maths homework was never taken in, what a waste that was!?!?!
Today was my wonderful Tuesday with 3 frees! I did the standard activities, Scrubs, PS3, Press-Ups, Physics. Speaking of Physics, I have now decided the title of my practical investigation: 'What is the best make shift Parachute?' Without wanting to sound like a nerd, I'm actually looking forward to it! Physics came and passed and after college, Dave came over for a cheeky bit of PS3. The world saw witness to perhaps the most unexciting games ever! Although, one game finished 0-0 AET and i won 12-11 on penalties (only one penno saved) But I was surprised to see that Butt, the B. Munich goalkeeper has a 90 penalty rating, impressive!
As we speak, Manchester United are losing 3-1 at home to CSKA Moscow. Go Moscow Go!!!!
It's that time again folks! No no no, not that time of the month, just time for....Rooster's Roundup! Today's topic is: Daylight Savings
"The clocks go back tonight, an extra hour in bed!" is the common cry! Well let me tell you folks, I hate daylight savings. Who gives a crap if you get an extra hour in bed, it happens at the weekend, you get as long as you bleeding like in bed, why need an extra hour? For the people who work at the weekend, it creates a dilemna in which you forget to put your clock back and arrive to work an hour late? Why do we run this risk? So it's lighter in the morning? Well let me tell you folks, I like it being dark in the mornings, I like it getting brighter as the day goes on, not darker. What is more miserable than getting home at 4:30 and then realising it's dark outside? How depressing is that?
But let's get down to the fundamentals, why are the government deciding what the time is? Since when did they control time? My lord, they could easily turn the clock's back 2, 3 hours if they wanted, time is incontrollable! And think about the poor folks who work overnight, having to work an extra hour, just so kids don't walk to school in the dark? How would that work for the police? A serious crime is committed at 1:30am...but which one? Seeing as the government decided to move back time, at what time did the event occur? It creates unneccessary hassle and it also means we eventually sacrifice an hour in bed, WTF!?! I like it dark in the morning, I want the day to stay as bright as it can, for as long as it can! Winter is only so dark and depressing because the nights draw in so early. Lets spruce it up a bit, make everyone less depressed! Scandinavia has the highest suicide rate of any country, because it's so dark all the time. Why intentionally make ourselves more prone to murdering ourselves? Think of the children!?!
Well the last riddle was solved by many, but it was solved 1st by Lara Crowe!!
Rooster's riddle for today: 'Gaze at this sentence for just about sixty seconds and then explain what makes it quite different from the average sentence.'
Love you all
Rooster
x
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